Sent him packing on NYE

[mildlymiffed]

Last night dp and I were meant to be going to a NYE party round at my friends. We've been together 15 months or so. He arrived at my flat about an hour before I got home from work.

I've been having general issues with him about drink, unemployment and low mood over the past 3 months or so.

Came to a head last night. Called him when I arrived back from work to ask for hand with shopping. On way in, he fell down the bottom stairs as he was pissed. I was fuming. I think (as do family members) that he has alcohol issues, and to be drunk well before a NYE party takes the biscuit. I couldn't have taken him to my friend's party. A 47 yo slurring, wobbling boyfriend is frankly embarrassing.

We had a barny. I told him to go home (a train ride away). He said he'd just stay in my spare room. I said no. He did go eventually. I went to NYE party on my own.

Tbh, this is the straw that broke the camel's back. Think this is over. Not sure how I feel today.

Agree with @FourDecades. Leave his stuff on the doorstep and go out.

His stuff is mainly in one drawer so easy enough to put into a shopper. Was just not planning on seeing him face to face as it feels too raw, and he'll be goading for an argument so that the breakup can somehow be my fault. I just don't want it.

Don't think this is about the stuff. An earlier message said that my (very few) belongings would be going to charity shop. Which I'm annoyed at, as there were a decent pair of trainers there.

Think he's sparring for a reaction. He's not getting one... as I'm not that sort of person anyway.

@weenurse & @FourDecades I shall do that. I wanted to go to the cinema, so maybe Wednesday is the night?

That just gives you the perfect reason to say 'you're not respecting my boundaries so I have to cut contact completely now' and block on everything. It tells you everything you need to know about whether it's possible to be his friend though if he can't even give you space and respect your wishes now. He's just proving you're doing the right thing OP

I heard the new Star Wars movie is worth seeing.🍿

OP will some tough love help?

This guy is a loser. A drunken loser who you should never allow to be around you or your child. Why on earth would you want to be with someone so unattractive?

He’s nearly 50 and can’t hold down a job. How embarrassing to introduce him as your partner, drunkenly slurring his words and unable to find a toilet?

You may be flattered by the drama of him wanting you back, refusing to accept it is over, but that is foolish.
You would end up supporting him financially. Are you happy to work for him to piss away your money?

I am repulsed by him, just from reading this thread. Why aren’t you?

Toughen up, block him, get rid of his shit and just don’t entertain any contact. You’ve broken up with him, now stay broken up.

Yes just go it alone for a while, you will eventually get to feel free and much better.

I was with an alcoholic man years ago, trying to help them is useless. The man I was trying to help, eventually got abusive,and I had to leave.
In six months,he had drank himself to death.

I got rid of one like this too, it’s really not worth the life you have with them, it’s just miserable and soul destroying

Put his things in a carrier bag and leave it on your doorstep. Tell him to come and get them on Wednesday, but you'll be out. Also, that if he doesn't collect them then, you will throw them out.

My ex was a nice guy but a total drunk. I dumped him because i didn't want to waste my life with all the embarrassment that came with it. He is married now, hasn't changed and his poor wife is still putting up with it all. She found him asleep on a stool in the pub with a puddle of piss leaking from his trouser leg recently. Thank god im free of that.