£100 for xmas dinner

[disneydatknee]

We went to sis inlayws for xmas dinner this year and shes charging £100 per family. No alcohol was provided, we had to bring our own. Pud was brought by another family member. All her veg was free from a local charity for food waste. So she only paid for meat which I ate about half a palmful of beef of. My family consists of 2 adults and 2 children that ate fuck all. Aibu to say I'm not fucking paying it? No back story or drip feed. This is it!

Oh god don’t ask for receipts. That’s really tacky.

Pay the £50 you agreed. Roll your eyes about the drinks and move on.

Next year assign each family a part of the dinner to contribute or agree to meet after the meal.

Receipts God, imagine what a twat you would look like if you asked for receipts. You'd never live that one down!

I think it's tackier to charge your family £100 after agreeing half that and not supplying half of what was offered than it is to ask for a breakdown of costs!

If you were charged double in a restaurant you'd ask why, how is this different? Yes it's family but she's taking the total piss so I'd go down the formal route and ask for a receipt.

She's being cheeky, and the £50 is even too much as you shouldn't be paying for drink you didn't have. But I find is weird that people cannot comprehend how one family member may not have enough money to host everyone without a contribution. Particularly as earlier this year, this was a suggestion made multiple times to a poster who was saying she couldn't afford to host this Christmas.

Those of you who are saying how much you spend and don't ask for a contribution - that's great that you are able to do that. But it doesn't make you better than people who host and couldn't afford to without a contribution.

None of which excuses CF SIL.

Those asking about charities giving out food:

There are plenty of food sharing initiatives with the aim of waste reduction. Community fridge is one example which gives food freely to anyone who'll use it regardless of need. There are others. These initiatives are not just about feeding people in need (in the way that food banks are), they're about reducing waste.

parents

Sorry posted too soon..

I'd send the 50 as initially agreed, then get dh to text "sis, we've transferred you the 50 as originally agreed"

Then see what she says.

I find it really weird that someone would charge invited family members for a meal. And even weirder that you are considering paying it.

@hadenoughofthisall I suppose just because someone lowers the bar, it doesn’t mean everyone in the family needs to crawl under it.

If I was charged double the Amount advertised in a restaurant I would polities your remind them of he original amount agreed and pay that.

I wouldn’t ask for an itemised account of why it was different.

Doesn't go with Christmas spirit and hospitality.

When we were not well off, dm paid for the turkey and one year she insisted on giving me some cash but I didn't ask for it.

We host every year so the family all split the cost. There are usually only 9 of us so we split between 3 families. It never costs more than £40/50 each family, this includes all booze, soft drinks, xmas dinner, dessert, cheese/biscuits, tea for the evening. I also provide crackers or gift bags on top usually containing lottery tickets plus often provide extra booze such as champagne.

My parents always contribute something extra but DHs family never do, not even a bottle of wine to say thanks which I find strange a I would never turn up empty handed but regardless I will still always provide the little extras as I love to host.

I would pay the £50 initially agreed & leave it at that. Then just eat at home next year. Then you can make it as cheap or expensive as you wish.

Sorry what?

That's dreadful hosting and extreme CFery

How many of there were you? We cooked for 9 with £500 (including alcohol) and that was a food shop from Waitrose.

I host every year and have done for two decades. Whilst I love having everyone over (8 of us for a week) there is no way I could afford to pay for it all. We probably spend £700 in all on food, drink, loo roll (!) you know everything My family will all stick £100 each into my bank account for which I'm extremely grateful. Trust me, if I could afford to pay for it all comfortably I would without hesitation but it's just too much. I send them all home with food parcels too. No-one else has the space to host and I'm more than happy to do it.

I'd be questioning everything... especially the mindset that gets free vegetables and charges you for them...

Tell her you’ll pay the £50. Next year don’t go. My DPArents bought the meats this year, I paid for a general shop incl sides and puds To cover the 4 days we were staying and DS and DBIL brought booze with them for Xmas day.
Your family should try that rather than charging people for a meal that they’re invited to...
My Ddad would have paid it all if we’d have let him but I don’t think that’s fair to land on them...

That’s different Thelaslittledragon, and completely understandable. I can understand everyone chipping in when one person always hosts, particularly if they’re not flush. I don’t think anyone understands how much Xmas dinner can cost until they’ve hosted one themself. But in the OP’s case the SIL didn’t pay for half of the courses or alcohol, so the amount that was asked was high. £25/family should’ve easily covered it.

Honeyroar thank you for your post, I've been reading this thread and becoming increasingly worried that I'm like the OP's person!

Wtaf. Why offer to host and then charge your own FAMILY!? Op she not only sounds like th world's biggest CF, she also sounds unhinged, and is quite clearly trying to mug you all off. Refuse point blank to pay a penny, and stop buying into this charade every twatting year. Host your own Xmas dinner with your oh and kids next year, and let the rest of these money grabbing idiots get on with it by themselves. I'm actually embarrassed for them and your in-laws for thinking it's acceptable to charge their own families for a dinner they've offered to host. Absolutely horrendous

As many people have said that's a lot of meat
Therefore I'm guessing a lot left over
Where are the leftovers?
Did you all go home with food parcels?
Or are they in her freezer

Imagine trying to rip family off like this. Disgusting. You honestly need to politely but firmly ask her to justify the cost. Ask to see receipts if necessary. If she makes out like you're being unreasonable then put it back to her that she is being unreasonable with her requests for extra money and that you're actually really put out that she has put everyone in this position.

Tot up generously what you think your family ate/drank, throw an extra tenner on top for labour, put the cheque in the post, and stay home next year.

The one and only time I have been to my SiL’s for Xmas dinner she sent us a massive list of things to bring (including alcohol) and warned us she would be splitting the cost of the food with us.
On the day there was very little to eat and not much of the alcohol was drunk. We left the unopened bottles we brought. She still sent us a bill afterwards.
She even charged her Dad (widower).
Everyone paid to keep the peace but we won’t go there again.
Tight doesn’t even cover it.