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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let the pregnant woman push in?

113 replies

DaisyBD · 31/12/2019 15:26

I was at an airport the other day queuing up to go through security. Time was tight and I was in danger of missing my connection (so I hadn't just left it late getting to the airport). There was a woman in the next line which was moving slower than mine, and she asked the guy in front of me if she could go ahead of him, which he said yes to. I tapped on her shoulder and said actually I did mind and could she go back, which she did. She then complained to the people behind her that I was a bitch and she was pregnant - quite loudly but in french so I guess she assumed I couldn't understand her but I speak french. I said nothing but wondered afterwards if I should have let it go - it probably made fuck all difference to whether I made my flight.

I was very grumpy and stressed at the time but now I feel a little bad that I made someone else's day a little bit less nice, and small acts of kindness don't hurt. On the other hand, being pregnant isn't an illness and why should she take precedence? I don't know, obviously I can't go back in time to change what I did, and I don't feel terrible about it, just wondering what other people would have done.

OP posts:
Peanutbutteryogurt · 31/12/2019 15:29

Hmm pregnancy isn't an illness but it has many side effects which are illnesses/cause pain. I was called forward in the queue by staff at Gibraltar airport when I was 8 months pregnant to go ahead of everyone, I very much appreciated it as standing was hard due to SPD. I definitely would've just left it.

Biancadelrioisback · 31/12/2019 15:29

Maybe she needed the loo? She could have any number of reasons for wanting to get through security quickly, but that's not really your problem.

Cheeserton · 31/12/2019 15:30

YANBU. I live in Europe and people assuming they can progress ahead of you in the queue is a regular frustration. Often I'm in a hurry too, even if I'm not telling the rest of the queue that.

Chocolatemouse84 · 31/12/2019 15:30

You had your own reasons for needed to be quick. If she was feeling unwell and unable to stand due to her pregnancy, she should have spoken to airport staff to see if they could get her through quicker.

RealMermaid · 31/12/2019 15:32

She could have been struggling badly with hip pain and finding it hard to queue for so long, or she might have really needed the toilet and wanted to get through for that reason. It would have been the nice thing to do.

makingmammaries · 31/12/2019 15:32

YANBU. So many people here in France think they have a reason to push in front of you. It’s not unusual for them to be sent back to their place.

PurpleDaisies · 31/12/2019 15:33

She should have spoken to the staff, not people in the queue.

LaurieMarlow · 31/12/2019 15:35

Yes OP, this is an occasion where you could have been kind and chose not to.

KurriKurri · 31/12/2019 15:36

Actually for all people saying what they would or wouldn;t have done, I often find my generosity of spirit depends on my mood, and the circumstances in which I find myself. (A woman pushed inf ront of me in a shopping queue the other day - just elbowed past saying I'll just go in fornt because I've only got one item') - I gave her a shirty look (but was too cowardly to say anything Grin)On another day I might have smiled pleasantly and let it go but I wasn't feeling it that day.

I think when time is a factor in you missing or catching a connection then it's OK not to let people push in, being pregnant doesn;t mean your need to make the connection trumps that of someone who happened to get in the queue more quickly.
Having said that - I might have let someone with smalll children or a babay push in as I;d reckon missing the plane and being stuck in the airport with littlies would be pretty hellish.

But - I wouldn;t give it any thought - there aren;t any rules over this kind of thing. I don;t think being pregnant or a woman gives you queue jumping rights. Other things probably do - but I'm sure you are accomodating to those in real need.

WorldsOnFire · 31/12/2019 15:36

I’m 6 months into a difficult pregnancy. I very much take the attitude of ‘If I put myself into a situation I can’t expect special treatment’ so wouldn’t expect anyone to let me jump a queue. (Not counting priority seating - I would expect someone to give up a priority seat if I asked)

I was at a shopping centre just before Christmas though (purposely picked weekday/non peak time) but still there was a 5/6 women queue for the loos - isn’t there always 🙄

A Middle aged woman came in behind me and asked if she could cut ahead of me - I rubbed my bump and politely said no, but there was a disabled loo available outside if she had a genuine reason. She huffed and then carried on waiting behind me.

I found it incredibly CF behaviour to ask to cut ahead of a very visibly pregnant woman waiting for a wee 🤔😂

PlanDeRaccordement · 31/12/2019 15:36

She didn’t ask you, she asked the person in front of you who consented. You had no right to interject yourself. I think you were rude.

PegasusReturns · 31/12/2019 15:37

Of course YABU!

You have no idea what was causing her to ask to go in front and given that it was unlikely to make any difference to you seems a strange reaction for you to have.

PegasusReturns · 31/12/2019 15:39

Actually @LaurieMarlow said it so much better: you could have been kind and chose not to be.

WorraLiberty · 31/12/2019 15:39

Well you're obviously missing something because pregnant women don't just ask to queue jump for no reason.

So YABU to start a thread without knowing why.

vanillay · 31/12/2019 15:42

If she was struggling she could have asked a member of staff if there was anyway to be fast tracked. Much more effective and fair than just jumping the queue

PissedOffWithFIL · 31/12/2019 15:43

She’s pregnant not infirm. If she was having difficulties relating to her pregnancy she could have asked the airport staff for help, she obviously wasn’t afraid of asking.

plunkplunkfizz · 31/12/2019 15:44

you're obviously missing something because pregnant women don't just ask to queue jump for no reason.

A surprising number of them believe they are carrying the new messiah and that gives them the right to push in or sit down wherever they like.

Watchagotcha · 31/12/2019 15:44

In France, most supermarkets gave either special priority queues for pregnant women, disabled people and the elderly. If you are in one of these (and in some places all the non-self/service tills are like this) pregnant / disabled / elderly people are entitled to go right to the front. It’s normal here. Maybe she assumed similar rules, or at least norms, applied where you were.

Belleende · 31/12/2019 15:44

Well, if you were in Portugal it would be her legal entitlement. All pregnant women and those with kids under 2 get the automatic right to go to the top of the q. Was a blessing when we were there

WorraLiberty · 31/12/2019 15:46

A surprising number of them believe they are carrying the new messiah and that gives them the right to push in or sit down wherever they like.

That's very true but normally they'll give a 'reason', like pregnant and dizzy, pregnant and sick, pregnant and aching etc.

I can't believe this woman just said "Can I go in front of you because I'm pregnant". It doesn't make sense.

FiddlesticksAkimbo · 31/12/2019 15:46

Who knows? Might have been about to faint. Might have been a cheeky fucker! No way to tell.

I'm fairly laid-back and I would usually not be particularly bothered by a cheeky fucker making me 30 seconds later in joining the next queue, so I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. But I can see why you wouldn't if you were late for a flight.

Did you know she was pleading pregnancy when you intervened? If not then you should give the matter no more thought.

Thoughtlessinengland · 31/12/2019 15:46

I think you’ve confused this a bit - pregnancy itself is of course not an illness and her attempts to be let through was possibly not “I am pregnant”. Pregnancy causes side effects which comprise illness on occasion - sudden bladder emergencies, severe SPD starts acting up, hyperemesis etc. In that sense - I doubt a pregnant woman who was feeling totally comfortable in herself at that particularly point in time would have thought “ooooh look - random man standing there - I am Pregnant let me walk up and claim to pass because that is rightfully mine”, it was possibly more a case of “I don’t think I can hold this pee too long without feeling pelvic floor is giving way/my lower back is killing me, I’ve thought and hesitated for ten mins but maybe this kind man will let me pass?”. It may have taken her some substantial to and fro to ask at all.

FiddlesticksAkimbo · 31/12/2019 15:51

I doubt a pregnant woman who was feeling totally comfortable in herself at that particularly point in time would have thought “ooooh look - random man standing there - I am Pregnant let me walk up and claim to pass because that is rightfully mine”

Cheeky fuckers get pregnant too!

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 31/12/2019 15:52

As you were in danger of missing your connection then YANBU.

NameChangeNugget · 31/12/2019 15:53

YANBU. Entitled clown