AIBU - cleaning the house mkaes me contemplate divorce every bloody time.

[montmatre]

I clean more deeply and more thoroughly than DP.

I regularly wipe down doors, skirting boards and scrub off random marks with my Karcher. it's my idea of clean and fresh - anything less makes me feel dirty.

Dp would always neglect these areas and it winds me up every time we clean up and all he does is move the hoover around (doesn't bother moving sofas etc).

Is it normal to fall out after every "deep clean"?

He also will tidy by shoving shit into a cupboard I spent hours wiping down and cleaning.

He says I have no ability to "prioritise"

Anyone experience something similar?

We did a massive clear out before Christmas so he complains that there is no need to go over bits. But with young children and a very muddy dog things don't stay clean for long.

The only way we can tidy together is if I set him big tasks like tidy out the car, scrub the pans etc.

What if you are wrong and it doesn't need to be that through but just good enough? Should be divorce you?

I hate cleaning with DH because he is just like you

That's exactly why we have a cleaner. Best money I've ever spent. She only comes on the 11th (winter holidays) next time so let's hope we won't kill each other until then

The muddy tail marks exist, I don't enjoy cleaning for the sake of it. He just doesn't see it/care.

Over the top. I am amazed he continues doing any cleaning

I'm particularly anal right now because we spent days cleaning in preparation for guests. If we keep up with it now we can avoid having to do such massive jobs in the future.

I think YABU. I'd stop cleaning if I were married to you if I always got an earful for not doing it your way.

Perhaps you should ‘prioritise’ as your lazy DH suggests.

For a month just do what he does. The hoover in the middle, no dusting or moving furniture.

That way he will see the amount of dirt and dust accumulating and may actually finally understand why it has to be done.

Use the free time you now have (instead of cleaning) to do something relaxing so you aren’t stressed out by the dirt! It’s just dirt, it won’t kill you.

It’s the only way to teach him.

An example: I asked him to move the console table out and hoover behind it as there were chunks of mud there. He says we did it a week ago so there's no point. There's still mud and dust there so I just did it myself and he went off in a huff. We have a long-haired 6 stone dog, the house gets messy very quickly.

would you be ok with it if he said he would leave you because you didnt clean up to his standards? If so - ltb. If not - then YABU and hysterical.

I think you do enjoy cleaning for the sake of it
It is the process.of cleaning that makes you feel comfortable.
I suspect that even I your DH cleaned exactly as thoroughly as you, you would not get that comfortable feeling because you need to know that it has been done properly by you, and you can only get that by doing it yourself.
The only possible.solutions are a) continue to assign him the big jobs preferably where you cant see what he is doing, or b) divorce.
Either way, it is pretty unfair to try to make your husband try to reach your standards, because you will never be satisfied unless the job is done by you.

The muddy tail marks exist...

So wipe them off, you don't need a snazzy gadget to deal with them.

And Monica, I'm saying this kindly: if continue like this Chandler will divorce you and then you'll have a messy custody battle over who gets Joey,.

Can you afford a cleaner for three hours a week? It would save a lot of falling out.

I hate cleaning btw.

Oh and he keeps giving the dog treats that leave a mess in rooms that have been vacuumed.

I would need a cleaner every day to keep our house tidy. We can afford one.

If you have a dog then your house will never stay as clean as you want it to.

You've got different standards of cleanliness. That doesn't make either of you wrong - he could say you're too obsessive about it.

If you want things to be done a certain way I think you'll have to crack on with that yourself and accept he doesn't perceive the same problems that you do.

I only move sofas out to hoover behind them once a year! And paintwork only gets cleaned once a month.

If DP wasn't a member of the Black Hand Gang, I probably wouldn't even clean paintwork that often, tbh, but the doors get grubby round the handles, and at dog height.

I think you might be a bit OTT, OP.

I agree op. My boyfriend wipes the worktops down with a greasy cloth he hasn’t bothered to wash out. I use a clean cloth and spray of disinfectant and get called a ‘clean freak’

I'm really not that OTT, I'm only wiping away grubby marks that actually exist. Just wish DH would do the same.

The white doors, door frames were spotless 10 days ago and already look shit.

I am your DH

My DH just can’t see mess. Mostly because he’s made it

Cleaning shouldn’t take days unless you have a 40 bedroomed Downton Abbey for a home.
I think every clean is a deep clean for you I have is why it takes days to do a home. Which is over the top as deep cleans should be no more than a few times a year.
You two need to come to a partnership. Perhaps your DH does the initial once over clean and you have a rota where you go in after him and deep clean one thing. Like skirting boards one week, under furniture the next week, etc.

Mine is exactly the same.

He claims that he’s always doing the cleaning et al.

He claimed to my family that he did it all before they came over for Xmas. I did it all I just asked him to clear up the morning mess as I was still doing on of the guest rooms. He literally moved everything to a pile on the chair and all dishes to the sink. But then I realise he’s got other qualities. He’s great at doing all the paperwork/bills/organising. He also makes a mean breakfast.