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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

BF infected me and won’t do anything about it

118 replies

jackwhitehallsdad · 31/12/2019 13:23

Found out I have threadworms, for the first time ever. I have OCD about hand washing and hygiene so I was shocked I’d picked them up as I’m scrupulous about personal and home hygiene. My BF has a six year old brother and naturally came to the conclusion he is the source of the infection as primary schools are obviously germ central Confused

Asked BF about it and he said he’s had them a few times. The crux of the issue is he can’t swallow tablets as he hates the texture/sensation. So he’s never took Ovex etc, and as adults usually don’t feel the itching etc, it’s likely he has them. I’m distraught as this has made my anxiety and OCD flare up, I’m washing my hands 100+ times a day and they’re bleeding and sore and I’m furious BF won’t do anything.

AIBU to tell him he has to take the medicine (liquid version) as he will constantly reinfect me?

OP posts:
EvilPea · 31/12/2019 14:11

Is he Brian griffin?
seriously, thats grim. I once decided to dump someone after he got me to pull over on the hard shoulder for a wee (we had not long passed a services). It was like a light switch, it was over.

TryingToBeBold · 31/12/2019 14:12

@T0tallyFuckedUpFamily

I can't even imagine how unhygienic the sex is.

Dipsydoodle · 31/12/2019 14:12

A thumb-sucker? Christ alive. Nothing sexier than a grown man who sucks his thumb ... add in the threadworms and you've got a right catch there!

JinglingHellsBells · 31/12/2019 14:12

@jackwhitehallsdad OP your title is a bit goady as you wanted us to think it was an STI, didn't you?

You need to separate this out.

Loads of families get worms- we did for years - because I had 2 DCs at school. We were and are VERY clean!

It's something that happens a lot, just like nits.

Even if he wore pants and didn't suck his thumb, the odds are he would get worms if someone in his house has them.

It is unlikely you caught them from him directly.
More likely the eggs are on his clothes and they got there through the 6 yr old and other kids transferring the eggs throughout the house.

The only way to stop this is for the kids to be treated and for them to wear pants in bed under PJs, and for the mum to camp dust the whole house and vacuum a lot.

Maybe tell her?????

Your BF will have had the eggs on his clothes - not his underpants necessarily- and transferred to his mouth.

I am not a thumb sucker, I am very clean but had worms lots when my DCs did.

The issue is he is not clean himself - regardless of worms or no worms.

Separate the two issues.

Do you hate his poor hygiene? or are you blaming him for passing on worms when the odds are you will get them one day from someone even with perfect hygiene!

MooPointCowsOpinion · 31/12/2019 14:13

Just hear for the inevitable ‘I dumped him’ comment so I can celebrate for you OP.
2020 and single and free, how amazing would that be OP!

Yestermost · 31/12/2019 14:15

Oh god I dont have OCD and feel sick. He is one to boot.

JinglingHellsBells · 31/12/2019 14:15

Also, @jackwhitehallsdad despite your own handwashing, I assume you will tell your family (if you share a house with them) that you have worms because THEY need to take Ovex too as you will possibly infect them.

Original poster
jackwhitehallsdad · 31/12/2019 14:18

My family (parents and little sister aged 14) have all took Ovex and are taking necessary hygiene precautions.

Going to ask him to take the liquid or tell him it’s a dealbreaker. He’s seen how upset I am so I think it’s cruel to do anything else but take it.

OP posts:
Chunkers · 31/12/2019 14:18

You don’t sound like a good match.

Lweji · 31/12/2019 14:18

LTW

It's not that you caught them, but that he's unwilling to be treated and improve his hygiene.

nanbread · 31/12/2019 14:21

You're not a good match, you with OCD and him with lax hygiene and thumb sucking. He'll almost certainly get them again even if his whole family took the medicine. Until you deal with the OCD this will continue to be a problem.

Just dump him.

Wildboar · 31/12/2019 14:22

You can chew or crush the tablets. Even my 3 year old took them without any problems!

GloGirl · 31/12/2019 14:24

Honestly, these worms crawl out of his arse at night. It's itchy because they're sliming around his bum.

The idea that anyone could KNOW THAT TRUTH and not do anything to irradicate them is bonkers.

Hundred percent deal breaker!!!!!

JoGose · 31/12/2019 14:26

There’s a liquid, if he can’t take that he’s being a dick

SunshineCake · 31/12/2019 14:32

I don't see the thumb sucking as an issue. I sucked mine until I met my now husband at 23 and probable for a different reason than the OP boyfriend. However, scratching and then sucking while not washing sufficiently is too disgusting for words.

Whatsnewpussyhat · 31/12/2019 14:34

In order, you should;

  1. dump him.
  2. take the tablet.
  3. put your bedding and towels on a hot wash.
Rumnraisin · 31/12/2019 14:38

He doesn’t like tablets so...ummmm...he can take the liquid. What’s the issue here for him?

SlightlyStaleCocoPops · 31/12/2019 14:40

I admit that I think a lot of people on MN can be hysterical about germs/ cleanliness etc but he sounds ROTTEN. Get rid!

Feelslikecrystal · 31/12/2019 14:42

Absolute dealbreaker! I’m freaking out reading this! I know rationally that’s an over reaction but OMG I can’t help the response. I thought my kids had them once. I was giving birth by c section but I was home a day after surgery trying to vacuum beds and boil wash absolutely everting and taking way more ovex than necessary. I became quite mentally unwell over it.... this thread has just brought back feelings of complete panic 😢

Haffiana · 31/12/2019 14:42

BF has issues swallowing tablets. OP has issues with fear of hygiene linked to OCD.

I don't understand why your issues trump his, OP? Have you considered the option of discussing this with him and coming to a rational, adult decision together?

YouretheChristmasCarcass · 31/12/2019 14:42

Dump him.

Even if you do get him to treat himself, he's living in an environment that means (chances are) he'll be re-infected. Then you'll start this shit all over again.

Nope. I wouldn't be doing with that.

Fuzzybumblebee · 31/12/2019 14:44

I would be questioning what else he would happily pass to you, not fair on you at all

GinNotGym19 · 31/12/2019 14:49

He’s a thumb sucker too oh god!
Also who are the 9% saying yabu - dirty people!!!
You know this is going to be a repeated thing!!! It’s not a good sign the 6 year old child gets them this frequently either! So you’re gonna keep having these arguments.

Notodontidae · 31/12/2019 14:50

Just because someone said they have had it before, doesn't mean that was the source this time. Having said that there is an issue on the level of cleanliness between you and your BF. Your clean, and now you would have to tell someone you've had it before "See the argument" You can get it from any public space, finger foods, & surfaces where someone has threadworms. Even if you manage to encourage your BF to get checked out or use a worm control, I’m not convinced that you are compatible hygienically. However, having two people who are paranoid about germs wouldn't work either.

WaggleWiggle · 31/12/2019 14:53

Sucking his thumb, not washing his hands, keep forgetting to bring underwear etc for overnight stays and refusing to swallow pills to treat worms would be enough for me to end it because he sounds like an extremely unhygienic manbaby. YANBU!