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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Boss says I have to work tonight or will face disciplinary.

484 replies

Partygal · 31/12/2019 10:51

Some of my colleagues are on here so have name changed.

I work in a 24 hours a day, 365 days a year job. Everyone has to take their turn at doing the shit shifts.

As I was off over Christmas last year, I willingly took my turn to work and did Christmas and Boxing Day. It suited me as I am going to a party tonight that I have been looking forward to a lot.

My colleague who was supposed to be working tonight sent me a text earlier today saying he can’t work tonight due to illness!!! (Yeah right!) He went on to say he was just giving me the heads up to block the manager’s number.

I thanked him and said no way was I working because I’ve done my time in work over Christmas.

Anyway my boss rang up as predicted - using someone else’s phone. She first asked why everyone seemed to have blocked her number, and asked if my colleague had already told me that he wasn’t going to work that night. I denied it.

She went on to say what I already knew that he won’t be at work tonight. I told her that I would not be covering. She says no one else she has managed to speak to, can get child care at such short notice and nor can she. According to her, “it has to be me.”

I still said no. She said she would try everyone else again, and threatened me with “consequences” if I turn my phone off. She has come back and has again said she can’t find anyone else to work. She says I will face a disciplinary if I don’t go in. I told her to go fuck herself. She has been texting repeatedly every since and has just told me that I will be fired for this.

Can she do this?

OP posts:
AvonCallingBarksdale · 31/12/2019 11:34

Personally I’d get this thread deleted OP. You’ve included enough detail to be identified by colleagues or your boss if she’s on here. I came across the thread cos it’s on my “active” convos list so not hard to find!

BlaueLagune · 31/12/2019 11:35

I imagine there will be consequences for what you said to her

Not sure you can discipline someone for being rude to their boss out of hours. In the office, or at an office function, yes. However, swearing isn't very clever.

DarlingNikita · 31/12/2019 11:35

YABU. You work in a 24hr job, you knew this when you applied for it. If you refuse to go in tonight, knowing no one else will either, people will suffer because of it.
Does the same not apply to all the OP’s colleagues who have blocked the manager’s number?

madnessitellyou · 31/12/2019 11:36

The swearing thing is unacceptable - on both sides.

The ‘ill’ colleague telling everyone to block her calls is just odd, also odd is that fact that everyone’s actually done that!

Fwiw in this situation, the manager should be covering as a first option.

Shedidnt · 31/12/2019 11:38

No proof the OP swore anywhere.

hellsbellsmelons · 31/12/2019 11:38

@Llewor but why should OP be responsible?
SHE is NOT the boss.
SHE is not the manager.
She did her shifts on 2 bank holidays already.
WHY should she do this just because no-one else will?
What about the other people who blocked the managers number?
Why aren't you blaming them?
Why aren't you blaming the manager?
It's the manager's responsibility to cover it if no-one else can.
NOT the OP's!
She does NOT run the department.
She has plans.

So does everyone else in her department so why should she cancel hers?????
I'm glad you are a martyr but some people want to work and have a social life. Especially when they've already missed Christmas and Boxing day!
It's a bit like victim blaming and not very nice!!!
She may be an amazing carer and we don't want to lose good ones now do we? BUT we do have to allow them some downtime or they will have a burnout!
Jeez!!!

betternamechangeforthisone · 31/12/2019 11:39

Cringing at this whole thing and not because I’m a pearl clutcher.

MyKingdomForBrie · 31/12/2019 11:40

What @hellsbellsmelons said. Absolute rubbish to suggest OP has to be the one to take the fall, that's the manager's job. Being in charge has perks and downfalls. To try and use her power like this to force and threaten OP is disgraceful.

wokingpizzaexpress · 31/12/2019 11:40

No she can't discipline you for any of it. Enjoy your night

Drum2018 · 31/12/2019 11:41

YABU. You work in a 24hr job, you knew this when you applied for it. If you refuse to go in tonight, knowing no one else will either, people will suffer because of it.

Bullshit. Unless the job requires all staff to be on call 24/7 then the op doesn't have to go in. And why would people suffer because op decides not to go in - they may suffer because all her colleagues made the same decision, they may suffer because one colleague rang in sick, they may suffer because her dick of a boss doesn't have a firm back up plan. Or maybe they won't 'suffer' at all - we don't know what job she does.

Op I'm with you - deny what you said. Your boss shouldn't have referred to you as a fucking cow in her text. I'd have said a lot worse than go fuck yourself if she had continued to harass me the way she did to you. Enjoy your night out.

2020newme · 31/12/2019 11:42

My work mobile records all my calls.........

Nonnymum · 31/12/2019 11:43

Vilanelle Why do you assume they are Nurses? I think they are working in hospitality rather than in a hospital

BeanTownNancy · 31/12/2019 11:43

"Sorry, it's my day off and I've been drinking; I'm too inebriated to work."

Job done. 😉

Tombliwho · 31/12/2019 11:44

Totally team OP
Why does the boss get to eff and jeff over text message but the OP can't retaliate?
If you're not on call you're not obliged to answer the phone to your boss anyway. Fuck her!

PentreBachCymraeg · 31/12/2019 11:45

Of course the colleague is ill.. 🙄 I'd be fucked off at them for them thinking you'd pick up their shift on New Year's eve at such short notice. (Even with the twatty 'heads up' and number block).

Sounds like you work with a great team.

ManonBlackbeak · 31/12/2019 11:45

I may be missing something here, but why is it ok for the OP’s manager you call her a ‘fucking cow’ but not ok for the OP to tell her to ‘go fuck herself’ in response?

Obviously it wasn’t ideal, but the manager started it by being abusive to the Op.

Sh0na · 31/12/2019 11:46

sympathies op, i'd get this thread deleted as it could be the proof you swore at her.

StrangeLookingParasite · 31/12/2019 11:47

Nice. Ladies and gentlemen these are the kinds of people we look forward to nursing us when we are old and vulnerable

I could not possibly give less of a shit if I actively tried.

Lunafortheloveogod · 31/12/2019 11:47

It’s such a bloody typical thing, I used to actively ignore anyone who wasn’t a saved number on days off during the holidays. We had serial offenders who always managed to miraculously recover and appear in a pub for the bells..

Yes it’s not nice to ignore your work and potentially leave them short but why should the “sickly” colleagues who are well enough to prewarn the whole rota get away with it, why can’t the managers themselves do the shift? Or get an agency staff member in for the night.. they don’t want to miss out or pay extra when they can bark their orders.

OneForMeToo · 31/12/2019 11:48

Eh I tell my boss to fuck off all the time, sometimes I call him a wanker. I can’t get worked up over that his called me a psycho bitch.

Surely she shouldn’t be using a random persons phone to call all the employees private numbers? The buck stops with her if she can’t get staff she goes in. Clearly not a nice person if every single one of her staff members blocked her number.

2020newme · 31/12/2019 11:50

I may be missing something here, but why is it ok for the OP’s manager you call her a ‘fucking cow’ but not ok for the OP to tell her to ‘go fuck herself’ in response?

Neither is OK!!! Grin

And "she started it" would make OP sound like she is 13.

I totally ,agree that the manager is out of order and that OP shouldn't have to do the shift. However, she should have just said," no, that is impossible, sorry" rather than telling boss to go fuck herself. Both are at fault here but it's OP who has posted so.......

WIth any luck, the boss will be too worried that OP would share the text boss sent her and will just do the shift herself.

theweebleshavelanded · 31/12/2019 11:51

is this care work OP ( I used to do it, so looks similar). Read your contract now......

start looking for a new job (the atmosphere will be awful anyway from now!). IF its care work especially, just text back sorry youre drinking so cannot work anyway and you could use that as an apology for your f off? (even though I totally understand why you said it lol). Also put youre drinking / staying away at a relative (far enough away ;) )

poor management here...

notapizzaeater · 31/12/2019 11:51

What does your contract say about cover ?

HappyHammy · 31/12/2019 11:52

Your.sick colleague should.not have rung you anyone else. That might be where the disciplinary lies. I would tell manager thats what happened. Manager should cover tbe shift if no one else is available.

Jupiters · 31/12/2019 11:52

Bit worrying your union reps first suggestion was for you to lie... Seems a bit unethical

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