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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Boss says I have to work tonight or will face disciplinary.

484 replies

Partygal · 31/12/2019 10:51

Some of my colleagues are on here so have name changed.

I work in a 24 hours a day, 365 days a year job. Everyone has to take their turn at doing the shit shifts.

As I was off over Christmas last year, I willingly took my turn to work and did Christmas and Boxing Day. It suited me as I am going to a party tonight that I have been looking forward to a lot.

My colleague who was supposed to be working tonight sent me a text earlier today saying he can’t work tonight due to illness!!! (Yeah right!) He went on to say he was just giving me the heads up to block the manager’s number.

I thanked him and said no way was I working because I’ve done my time in work over Christmas.

Anyway my boss rang up as predicted - using someone else’s phone. She first asked why everyone seemed to have blocked her number, and asked if my colleague had already told me that he wasn’t going to work that night. I denied it.

She went on to say what I already knew that he won’t be at work tonight. I told her that I would not be covering. She says no one else she has managed to speak to, can get child care at such short notice and nor can she. According to her, “it has to be me.”

I still said no. She said she would try everyone else again, and threatened me with “consequences” if I turn my phone off. She has come back and has again said she can’t find anyone else to work. She says I will face a disciplinary if I don’t go in. I told her to go fuck herself. She has been texting repeatedly every since and has just told me that I will be fired for this.

Can she do this?

OP posts:
hellsbellsmelons · 31/12/2019 10:59

See if ACAS are open and give them a call.
Tell her you are contacting them as you don't believe she can 'fire you' for not coming in your day off as you worked Christmas Day and Boxing Day.
So your boss has kids and what..??? Her husband is working as well!??
Doubt it.
SHE doesn't want to work.
You don't want to work.
As the manager, SHE has to cover.
Don't allow her to bully you into this!

reginafelangee · 31/12/2019 10:59

Of course she can disciplined you. You are refusing to go to work. But she must follow a proper process.

Here is some info

www.acas.org.uk/disciplinary-procedure-step-by-step

Sleepthiefismyfavourite · 31/12/2019 11:00

Oh dear Grin. I would definitely say I’m at the other end of the country with no way of getting home

Bloke23 · 31/12/2019 11:00

Can you be disciplined for saying something to someone outside of work?

reginafelangee · 31/12/2019 11:00

Acas will be open today. You can call them for free impartial advice.

Bigearringsbigsmile · 31/12/2019 11:00

What kind of job is this?

Minky35 · 31/12/2019 11:00

I think the way you spoke to your boss will be reason you get fired (if you do).

Scarletoharaseyebrows · 31/12/2019 11:00

Abusive texting probably falls under gross misconduct. Yes.

Until then, no.

Fairenuff · 31/12/2019 11:01

Why on earth did you answer your phone? Mine would have been switched off until the evening like everyone else did.

goodwinter · 31/12/2019 11:02

This sounds dysfunctional all around. Don't block your manager's number and don't tell them to go fuck themselves. Just answer the call and calmly say you're unable to work tonight - not your circus, not your monkeys.

That said, that ship has sailed. I don't believe they can discipline you for not being able to work when it's not actually your shift - but the swearing and blocking may well land you in trouble. Keep a record of any abusive text(s) your manager has sent. Good luck.

Butchyrestingface · 31/12/2019 11:02

Yes but she can’t prove I swore at her. I can prove she used bad language to me in a text

I’d be polishing up Ye Olde CV just in case. Smile

reginafelangee · 31/12/2019 11:02

I missed you telling her to go fuck herself. I'd regard that as gross misconduct. Not good OP.

If you want to keep your job the very least you can do is apologise and go to work.

Otherwise you are probably in a lot of trouble.

Trafalger · 31/12/2019 11:02

How long have you been in the job? If under 2 years then yes she can fire you. Morally not right but legally there is nothing you can do about it!

ScreamingValalalalahLalalalah · 31/12/2019 11:03

Can you be disciplined for saying something to someone outside of work?

Yes, of course you can, especially (but not exclusively) if the person you say it to is a colleague/client/customer.

user1473878824 · 31/12/2019 11:04

Yes but she can’t prove I swore at her. I can prove she used bad language to me in a text

Aren’t you a gem?

goodwinter · 31/12/2019 11:04

@Partygal Did your manager actually swear AT you in this text (fuck you), or was it more of an expression of frustration (I can't fucking find anyone else)? It's not ok either way, but I'm just trying to figure out why you thought it was ok to tell her to go fuck herself based on her having used bad language...

PatrickMerricksGoshawk · 31/12/2019 11:05

Your workplace sounds completely toxic Shock NHS by any chance...?

Greenkit · 31/12/2019 11:06

YANBU to not work or refusing to work

YABU to tell your boss to "go fuck themselves" even if they did the same.

DCOkeford · 31/12/2019 11:06

You can be sacked on the spot for nothing at all if you've been there for less than 2 years.

(assuming you haven't been discriminated against for one of the protected characteristics)

goodwinter · 31/12/2019 11:06

@reginafelangee The link doesn't mention a disciplinary for not agreeing to work a shift that isn't yours at short notice. Is that really acceptable legally?

OP, important to note that you can be fired for almost anything within the first 2 years of employment. Forgot to say that in my first post. You might need to prepare for the worst unfortunately.

maddiemookins16mum · 31/12/2019 11:06

Do you work in care Op? If so, she’ll have to try agency.

Partygal · 31/12/2019 11:07

I’ve been working at this place six years. Have managed to speak to union rep. She says to keep the texts and that she has my back. She can’t prove I swore at her, and I have been told to deny that I did. Of course I have evidence in that text that my boss swore at me.

OP posts:
GirlsonFilm · 31/12/2019 11:07

Screenshot her texts just in case you need them. You might be subject to disciplinary action so keep all the evidence you have to support your defence.

Mistletorpor · 31/12/2019 11:07

To be fair, if you did say that to her, wouldn’t surprise me if you get sacked, not just a disciplinary. Unreasonable of her to expect you to cover at short notice, but you shouldn’t have blocked her or sworn at her.

Crawley65 · 31/12/2019 11:07

In future make sure to say you are a long way from home and therefore unable to work at such short notice.

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