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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Boss says I have to work tonight or will face disciplinary.

484 replies

Partygal · 31/12/2019 10:51

Some of my colleagues are on here so have name changed.

I work in a 24 hours a day, 365 days a year job. Everyone has to take their turn at doing the shit shifts.

As I was off over Christmas last year, I willingly took my turn to work and did Christmas and Boxing Day. It suited me as I am going to a party tonight that I have been looking forward to a lot.

My colleague who was supposed to be working tonight sent me a text earlier today saying he can’t work tonight due to illness!!! (Yeah right!) He went on to say he was just giving me the heads up to block the manager’s number.

I thanked him and said no way was I working because I’ve done my time in work over Christmas.

Anyway my boss rang up as predicted - using someone else’s phone. She first asked why everyone seemed to have blocked her number, and asked if my colleague had already told me that he wasn’t going to work that night. I denied it.

She went on to say what I already knew that he won’t be at work tonight. I told her that I would not be covering. She says no one else she has managed to speak to, can get child care at such short notice and nor can she. According to her, “it has to be me.”

I still said no. She said she would try everyone else again, and threatened me with “consequences” if I turn my phone off. She has come back and has again said she can’t find anyone else to work. She says I will face a disciplinary if I don’t go in. I told her to go fuck herself. She has been texting repeatedly every since and has just told me that I will be fired for this.

Can she do this?

OP posts:
Mixitupalot · 31/12/2019 11:19

Lol are you in hospitality? This is literally my life.. I am senior management and she was out of order but as you says it’s not unusual for some ppl (not me) to swear in work it’s just the culture. It NYE and I am in work from now until 3am, we have multiple parties/events/weddings on.

I’ve never had NYE or Christmas off so I’d prob go in if I were you (again it’s the culture) is this really worth 6 years?

Stefoscope · 31/12/2019 11:19

I hope she faces disciplinary action. Obviously it's not ideal that you told her to fuck off but she sounds awful to be harassing people repeatedly and swearing in text messages. I don't miss these types of bully managers who think you should be at their beck and call and think they can speak to you like shit.

When I was a student I navievly spent a small fortune commuting 2 hours on New Years Day to my job under similar circumstances to yours. Then another nice manager ended up sending me home anyway as he felt bad that the awful manager had hassled me to come in when I wans't needed. In the end I didn't even get paid for that day and sat at home on my own in a cold bedsit. Needless to say I left not long after!

bigchris · 31/12/2019 11:19

Looks like 'sick ' colleague, you and her will all need new jobs come the new year

Everyone else who blocked her too shoukd be disciplined

Surely it you work in the emergency services this is parr for the course

Do you all tell the patients to go fuck themselves too

Christ , what a wonderful place to work.....

Mixitupalot · 31/12/2019 11:19

Oh mental to ask I take it you are not on the rota?

Hundredacrewoods · 31/12/2019 11:19

Have you really been advised to lie by denying you swore?

GinDaddy · 31/12/2019 11:19

The amusing thing is that the manager is clearly a terrible manager and motivator of people.

I've worked in workplaces where people regularly curse at and with each other, but there's also the general proviso that people are best motivated when they're respected and understood as human beings.

"Don't be such a fucking cow" is not a great way to get someone to come in for a shift.

She sounds like a joke.

Cantdoleft · 31/12/2019 11:20

Also, I would have just said I had been drinking and couldn’t come in.

bigchris · 31/12/2019 11:22

work in a 24 hours a day, 365 days a year job

I assumed hospital or care home Grin

ohwheniknow · 31/12/2019 11:22

She can’t prove I swore at her, and I have been told to deny that I did.

Maybe shouldn't have posted about it online. You've included enough detail to be identified by her.

ohwheniknow · 31/12/2019 11:22

And by anyone shown her text as evidence...

CoffeeCoinneseur · 31/12/2019 11:22

I immediately assumed hotel/hospitality

Savingshoes · 31/12/2019 11:23

She can't discipline you for not being available 2 work on a day off that had already been rotared on off on the shift Rota.
She can be disciplined for harassing her staff out of work hours. You are entitled to a work/life balance regardless of shifts being 24 hour/365.
Your do not have to justify why you aren't available, you could be home reading a book and "no one else to cover" is why they pay managers to manage and not a staff to be available at a moment's wimm.
She's at fault for threatening you and if she rings again say "thanks for your concern with X company, I'll have a chat with my union and get back to you when I'm next due on shift."
Then put your phone on Wi-Fi only.

Obligatorync · 31/12/2019 11:24

She could maybe have recourse if you blocked her and genuinely told her to fuck off.
But she can't make you work (depending on your contract).

PentreBachCymraeg · 31/12/2019 11:27

Another who would be t'opposite end of the country when answering the call. Halo

bringincrazyback · 31/12/2019 11:27

IMHO the pair of you swearing at each other is unprofessional even if swearing is par for the course where you work, but other than that I'm firmly in the YANBU camp. Presumably you don't have kids and she's leaning on you because you don't have the childcare issue? If so, that's staggeringly discriminatory. Quite aside from the fact that you 'paid your dues' already by working Christmas, it really pisses me off when bosses assume those without children can be leant on to work at the drop of a hat at any time because they're perceived as having nothing better to do. Legally speaking they can't force you to work during time you've booked off. Stand your ground OP and enjoy the party.

FredaFrogspawn · 31/12/2019 11:27

Is it a small or big company/workplace?

It doesn’t seem right that you aren’t allowed to say no at such short notice. She should be looking to discipline the non-attender unless he is genuinely sick. She should do the shift herself.

FredaFrogspawn · 31/12/2019 11:28

Or paying up for an agency worker.

CatkinToadflax · 31/12/2019 11:28

So as a workforce you all block the boss’s number and it’s perfectly acceptable to swear at each other? You all sound about 13!

MsChnandlerBong · 31/12/2019 11:30

It's a hotel isn't it? Am amused by all the pearl clutching. A naughty word ooh how unprofessional.

Llewor · 31/12/2019 11:30

YABU. You work in a 24hr job, you knew this when you applied for it. If you refuse to go in tonight, knowing no one else will either, people will suffer because of it. You're also BU for swearing at your boss.

I worked in 24hr care for 9.5 years through my twenties and I could count on one hand how many Christmases, NYE, NYD or any other special day I had off. If you don't care enough about your job and the people who will be affected if you don't show up tonight (knowing no one else will either, as other staff very immaturely blocked the boss' number..) then maybe you should be in a different line of work (for everyone's sake).

2020newme · 31/12/2019 11:30

I would sack anyone who told me to go fuck myself. Up until then you had the moral high ground - why on earth did you do that?

Frenchw1fe · 31/12/2019 11:32

I knew it was time for me to leave my job after flicking the v's at a manager( at break time to be fair).
She was a hypocritical cow. I told a more senior manager what I had done and his words were 'don't worry it's easier to get rid of a verruca than a member of staff here.'

keepsmiling2015 · 31/12/2019 11:32

Next time she rings answer and say, oh dear I've just started to projectile vomit therefore I am unable to cover the shift. Then send same in an email. If your colleague can be sick so can you. But you really shouldn't have told her to go ffff herself, but that's another issue.

PineappleDanish · 31/12/2019 11:33

I told her to go fuck herself.

Well that was professional. Irrespective of whether you're working tonight you may well be facing a disciplinary for that alone.

ColaFreezePop · 31/12/2019 11:33

@Obligatorync she doesn't have recourse if you blocked her number when not working, though she is stupid to tell the boss this. There are valid reasons why people can't get through on mobiles. I can't always get through to one of my siblings' as he lives in a area of intermittent mobile coverage.