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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Boss says I have to work tonight or will face disciplinary.

484 replies

Partygal · 31/12/2019 10:51

Some of my colleagues are on here so have name changed.

I work in a 24 hours a day, 365 days a year job. Everyone has to take their turn at doing the shit shifts.

As I was off over Christmas last year, I willingly took my turn to work and did Christmas and Boxing Day. It suited me as I am going to a party tonight that I have been looking forward to a lot.

My colleague who was supposed to be working tonight sent me a text earlier today saying he can’t work tonight due to illness!!! (Yeah right!) He went on to say he was just giving me the heads up to block the manager’s number.

I thanked him and said no way was I working because I’ve done my time in work over Christmas.

Anyway my boss rang up as predicted - using someone else’s phone. She first asked why everyone seemed to have blocked her number, and asked if my colleague had already told me that he wasn’t going to work that night. I denied it.

She went on to say what I already knew that he won’t be at work tonight. I told her that I would not be covering. She says no one else she has managed to speak to, can get child care at such short notice and nor can she. According to her, “it has to be me.”

I still said no. She said she would try everyone else again, and threatened me with “consequences” if I turn my phone off. She has come back and has again said she can’t find anyone else to work. She says I will face a disciplinary if I don’t go in. I told her to go fuck herself. She has been texting repeatedly every since and has just told me that I will be fired for this.

Can she do this?

OP posts:
BoxedWine · 01/01/2020 19:09

If fucking cow is jovial banter to the people concerned, so might go and fuck yourself be.

iforgotthatyouexisted · 01/01/2020 19:21

@Tessabelle74 the boss is in a position of power over their workers and this wasn't workplace banter it was a boss trying to get someone to come into work.

It's completely unacceptable.

user1486131602 · 01/01/2020 19:26

I wonder why she hasn’t gone in to do the shift herself? That’s what management should do, not shove the shit down the line!
Work out if this would be a normal working shift for you, if not then after working 2 holiday shifts in a row, I would’ve thought youd be excluded. What would she have done if you’d had children you couldn’t arrange care for? It HER job to arrange cover. Not yours

McCanne · 01/01/2020 19:31

You might be disciplined for telling her to go fuck herself but I doubt anything would actually come of it due to the circumstances of you being threatened with consequences and the sack - SHE was bullying YOU.

Choccylips · 01/01/2020 19:33

Good for you for not being a coward, some people have to be sworn at before they understand. Your colleagues are a nasty bunch of rotters knowing you worked at Christmas, it sounds like you were the last to know, she shouldn't have called you from someone else's phone that was a trap. I think if you got a solicitor your case would stand up much better than hers.

Rachel709 · 01/01/2020 19:44

When I was a manager I had to cover shifts if no-one else would. Deny swearing at her.

Butterymuffin · 01/01/2020 20:07

OP said earlier that manager had said no one else could get childcare and that she couldn't either.

ShoppingBasket · 01/01/2020 20:10

For future reference say that you have had a few drinks so wouldn't be fit for work, that's what I do in a similar type job where they ring for cover and keep hounding you.

Hopoindown31 · 01/01/2020 20:15

Yep I would have just said I've had a few drinks unless you are a known teetotaler.

Shesalittlemadam · 01/01/2020 20:23

Not the sharpest knive in the drawer are you?

Sorry @bettybattenburg I had to! 😉

Mamawingingit1234 · 01/01/2020 20:40

Did you work? Did she message back?

Lulu49 · 01/01/2020 21:13

You can’t be fired for refusing to go
In on your day off. What you say to your boss outside of your work hours can’t form a basis for dismissal.

Devora13 · 01/01/2020 21:22

Not relevant to the original post, but if I'd have been boss I'd have told sicknote to get to the doctor and get proof of illness in the circumstances.

NorthernLightsInWinter · 01/01/2020 21:37

That's not what GP services are for. My boys' secondary school has tried that, and we have made it very clear that is not happening.

blubelle7 · 01/01/2020 22:10

Maybe if these jobs paid better employees wouldn't mind covering. I used to manage shift workers in my plant section when I finished uni and as the job was well paid, offering time and a half, double or triple time for a shift when I was short on cover, meant I always had offers to cover the shift and even had to rotate extra shifts so noone could accuse me of favouritism. Covering a shift also meant extra time off, so people were happy to oblige. Covering holidays wasnt that much of an issue either.

That side my niece has a low paid (better than NMW) part time job while studying and she has run into this issue if being forced to take extra shifts when noone will as she is young, feels bad saying no and easily pressured. She also loves her job and her clients so struggles to put up boundaries. I reminded her that they refused to give her contracted hours and she is on a zero hour contract so not obliged to take shifts and they are not obliged to give her shifts as it was affecting her uni work. I advised her to

  1. Get a work phone specifically for work and not give her personal number. She can switch it off when busy and choose when she wants to entertain extra shifts.
  2. Not accept any work mates or her manager on any social media platform.
  3. Have excuses on hand such as:
Visiting family in Scotland Away on a field trip Have been drinking
  1. Just say no and not explain if she can.

It's much better now. They did cut her shifts down initially in retaliation for saying no, but realised they were only hurting themselves.

Managers like this baffle me. You did the right thing OP. Managers get paid to cover sh*t like this. No point complaining that managers dont get paid enough to do this- said manager should renegotiate a better package, but covering is part of what you sign up for as the manager.

SeaWitchly · 01/01/2020 22:45

I would just say I had had a few drinks and would not be appropriate for me to drive to or attend work under the influence of alcohol.
Job done (unless you were officially rostered as on call of course)
Otherwise I would deny that you ever told her to go fuck herself. Don’t admit this to anyone, ever! And never do it again, that was really silly tbh.

Petlover9 · 01/01/2020 23:08

@ blubelle7
Brilliant answer. Anyone else in this position should get a cheap second phone that can be turned off. Perhaps pave the way if this is likely to happen, as in “got to drive my mum/aunt/ whoever 200miles to see a relative”. Put this story about well before hand and obviously no social media. Talk to ACAS. OP

browneyes77 · 01/01/2020 23:21

I once had a boss who texted me the day after I’d had a miscarriage (which he fully knew about) to ask when I was coming back to work. I pretty much told him to go fuck himself aswell (although I didn’t use those exact words).

Whilst I don’t think telling your boss to go fuck themselves was the best strategy, especially given that you’d had a heads up about her calling and could have had an excuse ready (like you’ve already been drinking and so no way can you come in), her attitude and swearing to you was uncalled for and she could find herself in big trouble if you have evidence she swore at you but she has no evidence you gave it back.

I work in recruitment and whilst I’m no HR specialist, I struggle to see how she’d sack you without dropping herself in it for swearing at you first. Plus it was outside of your works hours when she contacted you, at a time when you could’ve already have had a skinful and a reason for your language (not excusable but potentially understandable) . What was her excuse for her language towards you?

To be honest though, do you really wish to continue working for a manager who speaks to you this way?

I have a really relaxed relationship with my boss and he would never speak to me like that and neither would he pester me to work on my day off. He’d cover it himself. Every time. He wouldn’t even ring me, he’d sort any issues without bothering me at all.

Maybe this is a wake up call to look for a better employer?

KimchiLaLa · 01/01/2020 23:24

She is being unreasonable but swearing at her was an own goal

cabbageking · 01/01/2020 23:32

She is being unreasonable and can not action this.
I suggest if you have a few drinks that it would not be safe for you to go in anyway.
However telling her to F off is never a good idea.
I would retain the texts in case you need to refer to them.

MarleyBarley18 · 01/01/2020 23:41

She can’t force you to do overtime and for her to blackmail you is surely a disciplinary? Good on you for the go fuck yourself tho lol.

syskywalker · 02/01/2020 02:48

Actually the people that said you can get fired without reason in the 1st 2 years are wrong. In the UK they can only fire you without reason during your probation period! and you can also not be disciplined for blocking calls, turning off your phone or not giving a mobile no, as outside work they have no rights to that kind of access, it’s called work life balance! Only exception is a job where you’re on call and even then it would only apply during your in call duty period!

FenellaVelour · 02/01/2020 03:09

Actually the people that said you can get fired without reason in the 1st 2 years are wrong. In the UK they can only fire you without reason during your probation period!

Nope.

In the U.K. you can be let go for any reason within the first two years of employment, regardless of probation period.

cabbageking · 02/01/2020 03:21

There are still rules about dismissing someone unfairly regardless of time of service. Employment tribunals are full of people claiming and often winning with under two years service. It depends on the situation. It isn't a black or white situation.

ElluesPichulobu · 02/01/2020 05:19

you can't be fired for a discriminatory reason under 2 years. There's also a short list of "automatically unfair" possible reasons for dismissal here which technically you are protected from even before the 2 year mark but you only have the right to be told the reason for your dismissal in writing after two years so it's difficult to prove if one of these reasons was in play - your employer would have to massively slip up to give you decent evidence that one of these was the reason you were let go. And as the page linked says: 'If you were sacked for a different reason and you’ve worked for your employer for less than 2 years, you don’t have the right to challenge it.' so if an automatically unfair potential reason is true, you can still be told you are being dismissed because of an entirely different reason and there is pretty much nothing that can be done.