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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Boss says I have to work tonight or will face disciplinary.

484 replies

Partygal · 31/12/2019 10:51

Some of my colleagues are on here so have name changed.

I work in a 24 hours a day, 365 days a year job. Everyone has to take their turn at doing the shit shifts.

As I was off over Christmas last year, I willingly took my turn to work and did Christmas and Boxing Day. It suited me as I am going to a party tonight that I have been looking forward to a lot.

My colleague who was supposed to be working tonight sent me a text earlier today saying he can’t work tonight due to illness!!! (Yeah right!) He went on to say he was just giving me the heads up to block the manager’s number.

I thanked him and said no way was I working because I’ve done my time in work over Christmas.

Anyway my boss rang up as predicted - using someone else’s phone. She first asked why everyone seemed to have blocked her number, and asked if my colleague had already told me that he wasn’t going to work that night. I denied it.

She went on to say what I already knew that he won’t be at work tonight. I told her that I would not be covering. She says no one else she has managed to speak to, can get child care at such short notice and nor can she. According to her, “it has to be me.”

I still said no. She said she would try everyone else again, and threatened me with “consequences” if I turn my phone off. She has come back and has again said she can’t find anyone else to work. She says I will face a disciplinary if I don’t go in. I told her to go fuck herself. She has been texting repeatedly every since and has just told me that I will be fired for this.

Can she do this?

OP posts:
YoTheGinPussyOfStMawesOnThigh · 01/01/2020 12:55

OP hasn’t come back. No doubt sipping a Bloody Mary and eating a soothing lightly poached egg. Trust it was a good party OP and you had a splendid time.

ruby2020 · 01/01/2020 12:56

YABVU! If for nothing else, swearing at your boss! Not professional behaviour at all.

peaceanddove · 01/01/2020 13:24

It all sounds so unprofessional and actually very childish imo. I don't believe for a moment that the perp of all this was genuinely ill, they were just pulling a sickie on NYE, one of all the most awful times to do it, both to your manager and your colleagues. Then all the other staff block their manager from contacting them, which again just isn't how actual adults behave when it comes to their jobs. And then the lovely stint of the OP and her manager telling each other to fuck off! Thank God I have never worked anywhere that managers and colleagues act like petulant fourteen year olds.

Notodontidae · 01/01/2020 14:43

@ CalamityJune. Good point Calamity, I am salaried and totally agree with you about the extra pennies. Being in a managerial position requires a good repour with your staff so that they will support you during staff shortage, However, there should be no pressure to induce staff to come in when they have planned holiday breaks, and no pressure on staff member legitimately sick. The company should have a contingency plan for normal staff shortage. Swearing at staff is counter-productive and not conducive to building a repour with your staff. OP YANBU

timeaftertime79 · 01/01/2020 17:36

If she swore at you, you have every right to swear back at her, I know if swore at one of my own staff members I would expect an earful back. You did not HAVE to work and she cannot raise a disciplinary against you unless he also does that to herself and all the other members of staff. Stand strong.

littlekerry8 · 01/01/2020 17:45

Without seeing your contract and handbook I cant say for sure , but normally with companies that operate 24hr yes you are required to attend work when needed. As for telling her to F*ck herself, She doesn't have to have proof, its not a court of law her word agains yours will be good enough. The fact you have messages of her acting in a way not becoming of a manager is good as it can show your your provoked. Just make sure you raise a grievance regarding her behaviour towards you if she takes action

NellieN · 01/01/2020 17:47

Your manager is paid the salary to cover these eventualities. She needs to step up & cover.

BlokeTarget · 01/01/2020 17:52

You 100% did the right thing and refused today work.

You did your fair share Xmas day and Boxing Day whilst the rest of the company / establishment relaxed at home.

It’s only fair you get time off NYE.

Written warning maybe. Or verbal ?

Love to know what powers your boss actually has over this and who did indeed come into work!

TrixieMixie · 01/01/2020 17:54

Couldn't your boss do the shift herself? I'm a boss and ultimately if that kind of thing happens, I take the view that I get paid the most to take responsibility so I step up. However, I can see why she was frustrated because I would not be impressed by the general attitude on display. I think your other colleagues, who presumably did not work Christmas Day or Boxing Day, have behaved badly by dodging it and leaving it on you when you have done those days. If the person who has gone sick is faking then they really are a rubbish colleague. Your boss was unreasonable to you and should not have sworn or threatened you with disciplinary. In these sorts of situations I usually try to make someone an offer eg treble time off if you do it, or a huge whack of extra pay. You should not have told her to GF herself though. No-one has behaved well here at all - everyone seems to have been pretty childish. You would have had the moral high ground if you hadn't told her to GFH.

Beastieboys · 01/01/2020 18:02

Why do you assume she's a nurse?? I assure you it's not "part of the daily routine" to swear at each other!

Sb74 · 01/01/2020 18:04

I’ve only read your first post OP so apologies if behind but I don’t think you were unreasonable to say no and could have had a good case but swearing at your boss is gross misconduct so, yes you can could get sacked for that. Good luck!

Earthling1994 · 01/01/2020 18:05

You blocked your boss's phone number, you lied to your boss and you told them to go fuck themselves?!

If you still have a job I'll be highly surprised!

No, they can't force you to work any non contracted hours. As a 24/7 365 job they should have bank or agency staff to call in staffing emergencies.

Effiedg · 01/01/2020 18:06

It would be nice, if just for once an OP came back and gave a conclusion to their issue.

robotArchie · 01/01/2020 18:08

If you are a brain surgeon engaged in saving patient's lives, then your boss has a fair point re expecting you to turn up for work...
However, my opinion of this boss, is that they are a highly unprofessional bully, that has clearly made the working environment into such a nightmare, that no one wants to work there. It's actually far more important that she abused you first in the text. No manager with any idea of leading a team would do that! The fact that you and your colleague are so demoralised, despite working all of those long hours, seems largely down to this boss. I would look for another job immediately, where your skills and work ethic are actually appreciated.

SonicVersusGynaephobia · 01/01/2020 18:08

You could say you'd been drinking already, so can't work or drive, etc..

HotChocWithCream · 01/01/2020 18:08

I HIGHLY doubt the OP is a nurse given the info she has provided.

Tessabelle74 · 01/01/2020 18:11

Personally I'd say you were a cow, not for refusing to work but for getting her into trouble over a swear word when you used the same word with a worse connotation. Having proof doesn't make you any better.

KitKat1985 · 01/01/2020 18:29

What happened OP. For what it's worth I do think you are right to not go in. But I agree swearing probably didn't help your case. In future just say 'I'm really sorry I've had plans organised for ages and I can't cancel them now'.

iforgotthatyouexisted · 01/01/2020 18:34

Has anything happened today OP?

It is a real shame that you swore at her but I can understand why. She's completely out of order, especially in her abusive text to you.

Are you the only one without children and could that be why more pressure was put on you than the others or do you think she had similar conversations with them?

It's shit to be the one to have to compromise just because you're not a parent.

iforgotthatyouexisted · 01/01/2020 18:35

@Tessabelle74 bosses should not be allowed to harass their staff by phone and text and abuse them when they won't capitulate. It's an absolute abuse of power and needs to be dealt with. I'm very glad that the OP is in a union.

Tessabelle74 · 01/01/2020 18:52

iforgotthatyouexisted
I agree that the boss was out if line, but I don't agree with the op raising a complaint about calling her a fucking cow after she told her to go fuck herself, two wrongs don't make a right now do they?

Eva2020 · 01/01/2020 18:54

Why should she have to lie?. She didnt want to do extra shifts. Not grounds to fire her. I find it fascinating she got hammered for swearing but encouraged to lie.
Her boss was harrasing her, surely she has grounds for complaints against a bully boss. The fact she swore wasnt her finest hour but she wasnt being heard and wanted to stop the bullying. I guess it worked.

Tessabelle74 · 01/01/2020 18:55

Iforgotthatyouexisted
Oh and another thing, how do we not know the boss was saying it in a jovial manner? More of a, come on, don't be a fucking cow, help me out a bit? This might be the usual banter in the workplace that the OP is only now twisting to suit her agenda

Eva2020 · 01/01/2020 18:58

Yay God, a sensible response. Tx for making my day.

PinkPanther27 · 01/01/2020 19:00

@Partygal I hope you get it sorted but you need to delete this thread