To think a lot of parents of very young children become quite selfish

[allthewaythere]

I am expecting to be flamed but here goes.

Yesterday I was walking on a really narrow street and a couple were walking with a very young baby who’s only just started to take a few hesitant steps, maybe 11 months, so he had dad on one side and mum on the other.

Because the street was so narrow it meant everyone behind them either had to walk at toddler pace or step into the road to get by.

I’ve seen this in a lot of my friends with really young children. Is this a thing and does it pass?

As I said I try really hard not to let DS inconvenience people - to the extent that I have been told I've gone too far the other way - but I do think some of the posts making fun of parents for being entranced by their toddlers are a bit mean. I think it's quite sad if you don't think your toddler is a magical, fascinating being, it's just that you should try to not impose that on other people.

I have a mate who's a neurologist- doesn't mean I know anything about brain surgery.

I am however, a bit old.

People definitely have less time and less patience. Disposable coffee cups and endless water bottles are evidence of this- people managed perfectly well without them thirty years ago. We didn't all die of dehydration. We sat down for a cuppa occasionally.

Now people don't have time to do that.

They don't have time to wait a minute for a child either.

It's a crap state of affairs.

I’ve experienced it but not just with parents. Sometimes friends are walking together and don’t realise they are taking uk the whole width of the pavement. It happens... what’s being a parent got to do with anything ??

People in general are more selfish

Exactly this^^

Sadly there is a group of people of all ages who think they should never be inconvenienced by having to share the planet with others. When they meet (the OP and the parents) they both think their rights trump other people's.

Very dull anti-parent posts on MN.

So YANBU OP because the parents are self important, but you are also BU because you have no more right to walk on the pavement than the toddler. They ANBU because they have every right to be there but ABU because they are inconsiderate.

Lisa my toddlers fascinated me, to me they where the most amazing little things. I didn't forever expect strangers in the street to think the same of them and I certainly didn't expect them to be delayed while I made magical memory's. There a time and a place and a busy street isn't one of them

But when I was little the attitude was ‘don’t let your kids and dogs get in other peoples way’.

I find the instagrammers jamming up the pavements or standing on your doorstep blocking your way as you try to lug your shopping in (we live in central London) way more irritating that a little toddler pootling around. But then sometimes you are in a rush and don’t have time to wait - so we need a bit of common sense and give and take.

The scooters are quite dangerous - one little kid knocked over my MIL from behind and broke her wrist as he hurtled through the park (as his mum had her head in her phone).

Another kid went into the back of me, cut my ankle (blood all over the place) and his mum just gave me a very blank look and shrugged her shoulders when I told her that there were lots of little children there and it could have really hurt one of them (it was in a play park).

It happens... what’s being a parent got to do with anything ??

People love starting anti-parent posts on MN. There are three reasons, goadiness; competitive 'I'm better than you at parenting' and good old children (and parents) should be seen and not heard mentality.

The scooters are quite dangerous - one little kid knocked over my MIL from behind and broke her wrist as he hurtled through the park (as his mum had her head in her phone).

I hope your MIL's wrist mended that sounds awful. And I was always really strict about scooter use personally.

I can't help thinking though that far more people of all ages are injured by adults, but we don't blame all adults for that/ badmouth car drivers.

100% - but sometimes I'd rather be selfish eg. Let my toddler tap my debit card in a shop even though it'll take longer, than have a full blown tantrum. Sometimes I do the thing that'll help me get through the day.

Most people are selfish. I don't think I'm any worse than the manspreaders, couples with pdas, loud phone call takers, people who won't move down the train etc.

(Although I am very mindful about getting in the way on pavements, stairs and at train stations as those are my bugbears)

I think toddler DS is the most magical , fantastic person ever (obviously because I created him ) and will most likely think the same of the baby I'm currently carrying. However , I do know that they are not (sorry dc).

It irritates me when people with young children think the world should revolve around them and their precious DC. I'm with you OP, pick them up and let people past and go to a park or something where you can walk leisurely and with no real "intent".

A lot of people just don't find children that precious and endearing , I certainly didn't before DS and couldn't find anything worse than a baby in a cafe or restaurant so rarely do these things now, which is fine. I think it's natural to become a bit selfish when you have DC but there's no excuse for being inconsiderate of others in my opinion.

Selfish is the wrong word. Happy, engaged with the child!! Oblivious to the rest of the world as their child is their world? I wouldn't get wound up about it. Could always say excuse me and move on with your life!!!

Yes the child is their world . They also need to show consideration to everyone else in the world. They carnt just claim to be oblivious to that. I'm pretty sure they would be annoyed if the rest of the world became oblivious to their child's presence and stepped on them,.

Too right.

Amazing how, despite the vast majority of people on here saying that they find this annoying and inconsiderate, a few stubborn people persist in putting their hands over their ears and insisting everyone is wrong and intolerant and blah blah.

Some people just refuse to entertain the idea that they need to change their behaviour and insist every one else is out of step.

Posters are a self-selecting group and not necessarily representative.

More excuses.

How would you have this family "change their behaviour" @misscromwellrocks ? Perhaps stop their toddler from walking out of doors? Fit the buggy with a periscope so they never miss a silent lurker again?! You sound very authoritarian. Or perhaps there's a small obligation on part of the OP to show consideration herself by realising people in front of her can't see her or hear her and that she may need to pipe up with a small "excuse me" from time to time? Or is she exempt from considerate behaviour for some bizarre reason?

What are you on about @rufflecrow

We're talking about a couple using common sense and picking up their baby when his toddling is causing delays on a busy pavement. Not locking babies away.

You sound very melodramatic.

And, as explained over and over and over the OP couldn't see what was causing the logjam.

I don't accept your description of me @misscromwellrocks. What's melodramatic about the phrase "excuse me?" What's melodramtic about realising people in front may not have noticed you if their attention is on keeping a small baby safe?

Maybe she could have, you know, asked someone?!

I don't care whether you accept it or not, that's how your post came across.

And I'm not entering into a circular argument with yo.

as explained over and over and over the OP couldn't see what was causing the logjam

Simultaneously so far back that she couldn’t possibly, possibly have even attempted to ‘excuse me, sorry, coming through’ her way through the massive crowd, and so close to the offending couple that she could see not only how they and their baby were walking but could even make a decent guess at the baby’s age.

They weren't simultaneously though, were they?

Again, I don't accept that description at all. I disagree with you very strongly and whether you care about that or not is really nothing to me. It's a discussion forum: disagreements are the norm. Let's move on. Yo.