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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be slightly , say a little pissed off..

103 replies

lalalalala123456 · 30/12/2019 21:17

ok I just need to rant please..

Hubby made plans this morning to meet up with his friend to play a few games of pool at the local pub - absolutely great, go have a good time.. he promises me before he goes that he would have 3 beers and be home in time for Our 2 YO bedtime around 7pm.

7pm comes he isn’t home and he hasn’t called , I call him he said he is having too much of a great time and won’t be home until 9pm, a lot of noise in background during the phone call , I ask who he is with , he said a mix of women and men who have arrived.

9.15pm and he still isn’t home .. I go back to work tomorrow am at 7am and he has to be up watch our LO as he is currently unemployed due to redundancy.

Just seeing others opinions on how they would be feeling right at this very second , because I am feeling slightly pissed off.

OP posts:
Nicknacky · 30/12/2019 21:19

I would only be pissed off if he came back so drunk that he was unable to watch our child. Being late (and 7pm was maybe ambitious) wouldn’t in itself bother me.

I was later home than I said I would be from a day out a couple of weeks ago

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 30/12/2019 21:19

Honestly? I don’t mind when my husband
goes out, I get the tv to myself and he’s having a nice time. Equally he doesn’t mind if I’m out and stay late.

butterandbread · 30/12/2019 21:19

If you know this means he’s unlikely to be home any time soon and then difficult to rouse in the morning, meaning you’ll be running round getting your little on up whilst trying to get ready for work then yes, definitely annoyed.

If he’ll be back at a semi-reasonable hour and will get up with no problem even if hungover, then let him give himself a sore head! Won’t be your problem Grin

TheMustressMhor · 30/12/2019 21:19

I would be very pissed off by this as well. I have a feeling that you won't be seeing him before closing time tonight.

Berrylove · 30/12/2019 21:23

Yes he’s gonna be back later than he said he would be, he’s having a good time, I think the only issue would be if he came back so late that he was too drunk/tired to care for your child. If he wants to look after a toddler with a sore head so be it.

Original poster
lalalalala123456 · 30/12/2019 21:24

Mmmm guess so - thank you for the replies

OP posts:
firawla · 30/12/2019 21:32

From the current facts, overreacting. If he comes in steaming drunk, and good for nothing then yanbu. But 7pm is very early and 9pm too. Would he be pissed off if you went out and stayed til that time?

LuckyAmy1986 · 30/12/2019 21:35

I’d be pissed off cause I hate unreliability. If my DH says he’s going to do something then i expect hi lm to do it. If he had planned a big night out then I wouldn’t care but springing it on you is unfair

Woeisme99 · 30/12/2019 21:38

He was never going to be back at 7. Providing you weren't waiting on him to bring chips back or suchlike let it go (if he'd promised chips then that's totally different of course).

Iloveacurry · 30/12/2019 21:40

Put it this way .. he’ll be looking after your LO with a hangover. Fun.

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 30/12/2019 21:40

No l wouldn't be annoyed. If you had made plans for the evening it would be different. But we've all been there. Assuming he isn't doing it every week..

Original poster
lalalalala123456 · 30/12/2019 21:40

firawla I think it’s more the fact it was planned this morning and that he promised me twice he would be home at a certain time baring in mind he went out at 1.30pm. It’s now 9.30pm so from 1.30pm that’s a hell a lot of drinking time ! We have a very hands on 2 year old and he doesn’t deal well with a hangover . Guess I may be over reacting

OP posts:
Crazypanda85 · 30/12/2019 21:42

Don't let it stress you out is all I can advise. He's definitely out
thinking about number 1 and having fun so don't you get yourself all wound up.
Just make sure you have a night out soon yourself!!!!

TheReef · 30/12/2019 21:43

Wouldn't bother me what time he came home as long as he was up and ok to look after the dc in the morning. What would piss me off is someone promising me something (like coming home at 7) and not having the decency to text or ring that they will be out longer

TheReef · 30/12/2019 21:43

Oh and I'd return the favour next weekend.

Quartz2208 · 30/12/2019 21:44

Yep because he clearly isn’t going to be able to parent well

Do you have other choices

ItsNovemberNotChristmas · 30/12/2019 21:45

As long as you get the same amount of downtime then it wouldn't bother me. Just kick his arse out of bed in the morning, make sure he gets up

ironicname · 30/12/2019 21:45

Hope that he's home soon. I understand how frustrating it is when you're relying on someone to be responsible enough not to be hungover when looking after their/your child.

However, most of us have done it. If it's a one off, it's not ok but forgivable; if it's regular, then it's absolutely not ok:

Original poster
lalalalala123456 · 30/12/2019 21:46

TheReef - this is my point about promising me something twice and not bothering to now even return my call or message . If it was all planned that he would be out late , then it wouldn’t bother me at all. I could have arranged for DS to be in alternate childcare .

OP posts:
LadyLightning · 30/12/2019 21:46

You are not over reacting! I am shocked at the people here who feel it isnt a big deal! Changing plans is one thing, and if he wants to stay out later fine, but if that is the case, a call to let you know would be appropriate. The fact he didnt bother to call, and has now missed several times he said he would be there is a huge problem - he is treating you like his parent, not his partner. And drinking until he has a hangover? When you have a child? Really irresponsible behaviour by him and disrespectful to you. You are right to be pissed off - he needs to get his act together.

Echoblue · 30/12/2019 21:46

If he is still playing pool he wont be that drunk. No doubt there will be a few pounds on the table that he will want to win, so will need to keep a fairly clear head.

puds11 · 30/12/2019 21:49

I think I’d be arranging childcare. If he’s been drinking since 1.30 he’ll be as much use as a chocolate tea pot and you’ll be worried.

If he comes home somber you can inform him you made other arrangements due to his selfish fuckery.

puds11 · 30/12/2019 21:49

Sober not somber Hmm

FruitcakeOfHate · 30/12/2019 21:50

I'd only be pissed off if he is drunk. And then because he has to be up early tomorrow.

puds11 · 30/12/2019 21:50

@Echoblue you can play pool shit faced, trust me!