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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be slightly , say a little pissed off..

103 replies

lalalalala123456 · 30/12/2019 21:17

ok I just need to rant please..

Hubby made plans this morning to meet up with his friend to play a few games of pool at the local pub - absolutely great, go have a good time.. he promises me before he goes that he would have 3 beers and be home in time for Our 2 YO bedtime around 7pm.

7pm comes he isn’t home and he hasn’t called , I call him he said he is having too much of a great time and won’t be home until 9pm, a lot of noise in background during the phone call , I ask who he is with , he said a mix of women and men who have arrived.

9.15pm and he still isn’t home .. I go back to work tomorrow am at 7am and he has to be up watch our LO as he is currently unemployed due to redundancy.

Just seeing others opinions on how they would be feeling right at this very second , because I am feeling slightly pissed off.

OP posts:
Rayn · 30/12/2019 22:25

I wouldn't be happy. It's not about the fact he has gone out and been drinking. That bit is fine. It's the lack of forward thinking for tomorrow morning. It will be hell for him with a child and a hangover!

Ollypollydolly · 30/12/2019 22:25

I think you’re overreacting but having said that, if he wanted to stay out later, he should’ve messaged or called you to let you know bearing in mind that he was the one who said he’d be back at 7

Andsbk · 30/12/2019 22:27

Maybe you should just leave him alone tonight and think what to do with your baby tomorrow. What is the point of arguing... You will go to work tomorrow and he will sleep all day
Just ignore him

Cupofteaandtoilet · 30/12/2019 22:27

I'd be very annoyed. You have a child - he said he'd be home for bedtime - he went out at 1pm. Sounds like a selfish, unreliable wanker.

Froozen · 30/12/2019 22:28

OP I would go to bed and try not to let it ruin your day back at work because you’ve lost sleep. Maybe leave a note on the door saying he can sleep in sofa / spare room so he doesn’t wake you when he gets in. He’ll get his punishment via a hangover while looking after DC tomorrow!

But don’t let it become a big fight. Take your turn next time and head out for the day and evening!

windycuntryside · 30/12/2019 22:29

He’s having ore fun than he thought he would and he should have just sent a message letting you know. I suspect he thought you’d not approve of the later “curfew”.
So long as he isn’t hungover and unable to care for your dc it really should not be an issue that he is out late, otherwise YABU

Andsbk · 30/12/2019 22:31

So I m just wondering... How many of you are married and give this horrible advices?

bigchris · 30/12/2019 22:32

@Andsbk wtf ?? Why should she sort it ,plus what if there isn't anyone Hmm

paranoidmum2 · 30/12/2019 22:35

@Andsbk

Maybe you should just leave him alone tonight and think what to do with your baby tomorrow. What is the point of arguing... You will go to work tomorrow and he will sleep all day
Just ignore him

What do you think OP should do?

Andsbk · 30/12/2019 22:36

Maybe there is....
What's the point to have a huge argument in the middle of the night??? He is drunk and 100% will talk shit and she needs to rest, tomorrow she is working...
Better have a proper conversation tomorrow!!!

user1497997754 · 30/12/2019 22:36

I hope he comes home and just goes straight to bed.....my hubby used to do this but come home very drunk and be nasty and abusive I have called the police out a couple of times it used to really upset and frighten me. We split up for 10 months that was 6 years ago...it hasn't happened again since we got back together and he knows that I will not accept that behaviour again.

buckeejit · 30/12/2019 22:36

I'd let it go unless he does it every week. I'm often hungover & in charge of our children, it's not that bad, less fun activities but more screen time for them. If that's the worst of it, then it's worth the sacrifice.

GabsAlot · 30/12/2019 22:40

so hes ignoring your messages meant to be with dc in the morning and apprently yabu

I dont get this palce sometimes-i think 9 hours is quite enough

Molly2016 · 30/12/2019 22:41

I’d be worried he wasn’t going to be up with your child in the morning.
Promising to be home by a certain time and then constantly extending the time is annoying too.
I’d get myself to bed and ready for work and assume that he will be home soon in a reasonable state...

Lilymossflower · 30/12/2019 22:41

The problem isn't him going out and having a good time, the problem is that he isnt considering his responsibility and commitment of having to look after his two year old in the morning.
By the sound of it you will be rushing around in the morning getting ready for work with a toddler with him having a hangover in bed and that's not fair on you.

Chapellass · 30/12/2019 22:42

I'd be pissed off - broken assurances, worry about him looking after the toddler tomorrow (now at 8 hrs drinking? That's like going out at 8pm and drinking TIL 4am - that's a big bloody binge). Finally the money - whilst I'm the one at work, he's the one out pissing it up the wall. What a grand fella. Is there someone else who cd watch your toddler tomorrow morning?

Lilymossflower · 30/12/2019 22:42

So yanbu

Choccylips · 30/12/2019 22:43

How often does this happen? That is the question and the answer.

Andsbk · 30/12/2019 22:43

NEVER FIGHT WITH DRUNK PEOPLE!!!! Wait for the next day... 🙄

Llioed · 30/12/2019 22:47

Op, does he do this often? If not then as a one off maybe let this go? I would be pissed off, same as you OP, but as a one off I would begrudgingly accept it. I know of two occasions in my life where I have stayed out later than planned (back when I was younger and single with no children) - it can happen. I wouldn’t like it if my DH did this knowing he has responsibilities.
If it was a repeated thing and he does this often then I would be less inclined to accept it.
He is the one who will have to deal with your DC whilst suffering a hangover when you are at work tomorrow. That can be punishment enough Wink

Cherrysherbet · 30/12/2019 22:58

I’d say give him a break. It’s Christmas week, he’s having fun. I don’t understand why he’d need to be there for your dc’s bedtime? Does it take two people to put him to bed?

GirlDownUnder · 30/12/2019 23:06

I could have arranged for DS to be in alternate childcare.

Why would you be the one arranging anything? You have already arranged childcare, the fact that the other parent might now be unable to fulfil their parenting duties is up to them to sort out.

He’s had since 7pm (when he decided not to come home after 3 pints) to make other arrangements.

Butterymuffin · 30/12/2019 23:07

How often do you go out and get pissed on his money while he stays home and does the childcare, OP? I think I know the answer. He's being a dick.

NoSauce · 30/12/2019 23:10

He’s going to be shit faced and not up to looking after his son tomorrow.

Dowser · 30/12/2019 23:11

I lived 30: years with someone like this
It was soul destroying
He even left me for a night out with three young kids and I had pneumonia..although we didn’t know it at the time..I was very ill though
Bastard

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