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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a student doesn’t need a nanny?

133 replies

SerenDippitty · 30/12/2019 17:36

Or a driver?

www.walesonline.co.uk/news/uk-news/facebook-nanny-job-ad-student-17488931?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=wales_main

OP posts:
Queenunikitty · 30/12/2019 20:07

This persons’ family will be from HK or Singapore and they will have had someone care for them since birth. Even feeding them, holding an umbrella when it rains etc etc etc. It is totally normal in Asia and devoted staff get looked after for life (obviously there is abuse but it’s rare.) PP is right this young person will have no idea how to do basic household chores as this is not considered appropriate in their culture. We are all different and there’s a whole world out there where people do things differently.

Camomila · 30/12/2019 20:12

We had a postgrad student lodger for a year when me and DBro were kids, she was from Bangladesh and her dad came over to meet my parents - they wanted her to be in a family home. I get it, if my DC was going to go to the other side of the world to study I'd be happy too if they lodged with a nice family.

FairytaleofButlins · 30/12/2019 20:22

A nanny is not paid to cook and clean, it's just the wrong job title.

mbosnz · 30/12/2019 20:25

This persons’ family will be from HK or Singapore and they will have had someone care for them since birth.

The ad' states they are from Canada. Not particularly usual with Canadians in my experience.

scarecrowhead · 30/12/2019 20:26

Is the student living on her own then ? Bit lonely if she is

Selmababies · 30/12/2019 20:30

I would imagine that this student has some sort of disability and requires the additional support. As a pp has said, they could quite possibibly be unsighted.

LaurieMarlow · 30/12/2019 20:33

If there’s SEN that’s one thing (though surprised it isn’t implied in the ad). Otherwise it’s pathetic.

kiki22 · 30/12/2019 20:36

What u need and what you want are totally different.

If you can afford your wants why not.

LauraLongLegs · 30/12/2019 20:40

Provided that the student has no SN, that is ridiculous, and doing her no favours in terms of fitting in, meeting people, making friends, and generally living a normal student life.

Especially if she wants to be a lawyer. How on earth would she cope with the demands of the job, if she can’t cope with the first year of the degree? I had some periods when I didn’t go home for days at a time when I was training and as a NQ corporate lawyer. Forget eating 3 healthy meals a day, I was lucky if I got a coffee made for me (tiny 🎻!).

lovepickledlimes · 30/12/2019 20:48

@LauraLongLegs she probably could cope but her parents might like to have a peace of mind she is being looked after, not seeing any unneeded stress and hardship and want to care for her as much as they can. And they might have insisted on this to ensure she remains healthy, does as well as she can in this stressful time

user32564567 · 30/12/2019 20:52

Absolutely pathetic. She needs to grow the fuck up.

FairytaleofButlins · 30/12/2019 20:55

chill out, some of us have cleaners and are all grown up.

I bet many of us would have even more help if we could afford it - if it works for the royal family, why not for us?

LaurieMarlow · 30/12/2019 20:57

If you can afford your wants why not.

Because you never know when you might not be able to afford it.

Because executing basic tasks is a minimum expectation for adults and you might find yourself struggling to command respect if you arent capable of them.

berryhigh · 30/12/2019 20:57

''This persons’ family will be from HK or Singapore and they will have had someone care for them since birth. Even feeding them, holding an umbrella when it rains etc etc etc. It is totally normal in Asia and devoted staff get looked after for life (obviously there is abuse but it’s rare.) PP is right this young person will have no idea how to do basic household chores as this is not considered appropriate in their culture. We are all different and there’s a whole world out there where people do things differently.''

I know lots of people from the Asian countries mentioned and other Asian countries and this is total nonsense. None of them had umbrellas held over them or were used to being fed nor were they incapable of looking after themselves when needed. None of them had servants at Uni, including those from well off families. In any case the ad says that the young woman is Canadian!

user32564567 · 30/12/2019 20:58

What happened to MNs ' My kids do their own washing and cook a three course from the age of 5' attitude?

safariboot · 30/12/2019 21:04

I expect the student is either very embarrassed or very unaware. Hopefully the former.

Mind you, when I was at uni I wouldn't have said no to somebody doing my washing up.

LauraLongLegs · 30/12/2019 21:25

@lovepickledlimes

Then they can pay for her fees and accommodation and give her a decent living allowance 🤷🏼‍♀️. She’d still be better off than many people.

If she just wants a degree but has no intention of using it, then that is one thing, although one has to wonder why she would choose law under those circumstances.

If she wants to practice as a lawyer, and she is not being allowed to learn how to cope with the stress of even the very easiest part of it, then they are doing her zero favours. No law firm will allow her to have a nannyslashhousekeeper at her desk!

FairytaleofButlins · 30/12/2019 21:28

Because executing basic tasks is a minimum expectation for adults and you might find yourself struggling to command respect if you arent capable of them.

what makes you think they "can't"?
I can clean my own car, my own house, I could hand wash dishes and clothes. I chose not to. You don't need a PHD to clean a toilet.

None of your work colleague know if you iron your own clothes or pay someone else to do it! no one cares either.

FairytaleofButlins · 30/12/2019 21:31

If she wants to practice as a lawyer, and she is not being allowed to learn how to cope with the stress of even the very easiest part of it, then they are doing her zero favours. No law firm will allow her to have a nannyslashhousekeeper at her desk!

Every single law firm I know employs professional cleaners and no staff is required to clean their desk or their mugs Grin

lovepickledlimes · 30/12/2019 21:31

@LauraLongLegs depending on the social circle she moves in Uni and fancy uni degree in such a prestigious subject is to ensure she moves in the company of the right people and eventually marry. Even if if does go on to use her degree it sounds she will likely have a cleaner, and cook to help in the house while she just focuses on her job.

Softskin88 · 30/12/2019 21:33

I wonder whether it was a joke ad from someone who wasn’t keen on Canadians for some reason?

Some Americans think Canadians are nannies and pampered because they have free healthcare and a welfare state like us.

Softskin88 · 30/12/2019 21:33

*nannied

LauraLongLegs · 30/12/2019 21:35

@lovepickledlimes

I believe you may be confusing Law at Leeds with “Sculpture at St Martin’s College”.

MyBlueMoonbeam · 30/12/2019 21:37

Quite why people get so excited about things like this is U .... IMO 🤷‍♀️

LaurieMarlow · 30/12/2019 21:37

what makes you think they "can't"?

If her parents think she needs two paid employees to get her through uni, I’d say there’s a significant chance she can’t, don’t you?

I’ve no problem with grown adults who choose to use the money they earn to outsource some chores.

But I have zero respect for someone who has clearly never lifted a finger and can’t be relied upon to feed herself three times a day.

Imagine if you got wind of that when interviewing her for a job? She’d be shown the door so fast.

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