To ask for your Christmas CFuckery stories?

[bluesteakandcheese]

I am currently laid up in bed feeling like utter garbage, spent last night being sick so I'm exhausted but can't sleep.
Anyway - as you can imagine I'm pretty bored (DH is staying away from me in case I've got a virus apart from to bring me water) so WIBU to ask for your Christmas CF stories to keep me entertertained?

Two people got me choc with milk in. I’m allergic to cows milk.

2nd year running for mil. Dh is a bit embarrassed but we all know he’s not the favourite.

I’m not rsvp’ing to the next family drama involving hospital visiting. Favourite child can step up (which won’t happen)

A couple of years ago now but a BIL and evil-SIL combo once decided to give Oxfam gifts but didn't tell anyone this. Apparently one of them was supposed to have had the conversation but chickened out, I don't know why.

They literally couldn't carry all the gifts they received out of the house, the cheeky fuckers. We'd all have been perfectly happy if they'd only thought to mention it to us beforehand

My MIL regifts practically everything, so much so that she loses track of who's given what, she even gave me a birthday present that I gave HER the previous Christmas! she was mortified when she realised.

Make her a chart for next birthday where she can record who gave her what and to whom she passed it on! Subtle all the way!

I still laught at the story about Nancy Reagen, Mrs President, was apparently notoriously mean, she gave their grandson a teddy for his birthday, beautifully wrapped, that he had left behind on a previous visit!

We once had Xmas dinner with SIL who also hosted her husband’s parents, and we exchanged gifts because we were spending Xmas Day together. But that was five years ago and we’ve never seen them since, nor are we likely to because we both now have DC and spend the day at home. I am absolutely sick of forking out for a gift and postage every year, so this year I “forgot”. Am I the CF? Hopefully they will also “forget” - no gift has arrived yet.

Thrifty tight as a ducks arse 'D'aunt gave us an mostly eaten box of chocolates her friend had brought her for Xmas (i was there when she was given them). She left us the orange and strawberry creams which she knows no-one here likes

Dhs grandma was the queen of random gifts
Dh got a half drunk bottle of martini Rosso once. It was thick with dust too I think she just decided she didn't like it.
Dd got the scariest looking peacock from her once it was made from real feathers and had very disturbing off centre eyes. She wouldn't have it in her room.

I could give you cf from a certain member until they come out of your ears. One of the lesser ones was announcing that Christmas Dinner had to be at 12noon (they'd already announced it would have to be at our house, and told everyone else before springing it on us) to fit in with pfb (age 6 months) schedule-that was his "lunch time" and it wasn't fair to be eating when he wasn't.

So that's 10 adults, 4 children have to fit round pfb schedule when he won't even be eating Christmas dinner.

One that I suspect people will think is dreadful, but I found quite funny.
Dh bought me some clothes. He often does, and often quite nice things. However he had a brain blip and got it in a size too large. I picked it up, and said "really nice, but you've got the wrong size."
"Don't worry," he says, "I've got the receipt I'll go and swap it for the next size up after Christmas."
He was mortified. I still think it's funny.

When dh and I lived abroad we met a couple through his work. Brits. He was notoriously mean but loved to take full advantage of every one else’s hospitality. He’d arrive with 4 beers at one of our lavish parties then return home pissed as a fart, take any still unopened beers along with any empties - glass bottles had a deposit on them after all and he coveted them for the 10p or whatever amount it was. I’m talking properly really mean.

They aren’t hard up. In the past we’ve put them up, we even put his wife up (who we’d never met) when she moved over from the uk and he was away for business. We also put them up since returning to the uk.

Anyway he contacted dh 2 years ago to say they’d be passing by our house, would we like to meet up. Dh suggested booking a restaurant. Radio silence. Then he contacted dh again last week. Ditto the radio silence. I worked out yesterday (when they were driving past) they were only looking for a free lunch, maybe an overnight stay. Lo and behold dh got a text saying never mind, next time. Merry Christmas.

Honestly some people are so cheap they only see others as meal tickets, not friends. Dh is really tolerant. But this is end of the line stuff. The guy has done the same with their ex boss, who lives in another country, who will also not have him back. I just wonder what his wife thinks. I always thought she was long suffering but now I’m not so sure.

So I gave whatever every family member asked for this Christmas like every other Christmas..Money for DGSs, Vouchers for DD, Vouchers for DS.
I got asked what I wanted for Christmas..I wanted Amazon vouchers because I wanted to buy a particular item online. I showed them what the item was so they could have clubbed together to get it as it wasn't expensive. less than £30
Had this discussion with 3 family members a week before Christmas
as happens every year.
I got a piece of costume jewellery(allergic to all metals and don't own any jewellery) so can't wear it. Family know I cannot wear this type of thing.
This happens every year for me and it's usually DD that does it as DS lives in another country. Buying me stuff that I don't want but I buy her what she wants....

So why ask people what they want for Christmas if you are going to give them something that they don't want?...seems totally stupid tbh or just being bloody awkward. Whichever way it pisses me right off!

My SIL texted me back in Oct asking me if we wanted to all chip in for my DM's joint christmas and milestone b'day pressie. I said of course, great idea. The cost to each of us was over £100.

The next text was "not doing adults only children" message...

A friend of mine once got some monogrammed hand towels and tea towels from her dsis. Lovely,except she’d given them to dsis for her wedding 3 years previous, so wrong initials.(she’d kept the bath sheets For show and yes she’d bought them from her wedding list)

2 weeks before Christmas a distant relative that I barely see calls up and invites herself, her husband, 2 dc and 2 other relatives we also rarely see to Christmas dinner at mine as I've got a big kitchen and nothing else to do so might as well cook for all of them & provide all food and drinks all day long (from experience they are greedy and can eat for England).

It was actually a phone call out of the blue and phrased as: "What time do you want us to come for Christmas dinner?" As though it had already been previously talked about!!

We only usually see them at big family events, so one time a year generally, and we're completely different generations.

Funnily enough, we had seen them the week before they invited themselves to ours for Christmas.
They were at another relative's house where they gave out money/gifts/cards to my sibling's dc, but nothing for mine (in front of them). They knew we would be there too.

This is the second year they've tried it. Last year, about a week before Christmas day, they guilted my mum (who was coming to me) into inviting all of them to mine without actually asking me first. I was already cooking for 12, so what difference did 6 more make?!
Turns out they were meant to be cooking dinner for 2 older relatives at theirs, but decided it would be easier to let me do it all and pay for it all when they heard I was already cooking for my parents and siblings!

Needless to say I put them straight both times, although I had to keep repeating 'no, that doesn't work for us' for about 15 mins as they just kept rephrasing/asking me, and I half wondered if they'd just turn up on the day.

They didn't!

SIL gave my DS a money box for Christmas. The exact same money box I gave her DD as a christening gift! Maybe she loves hers so much that she went out and bought the same one for me? Or maybe I’ve just got my own money box back, there’s no way of knowing. The annoying thing is that I spent money buying her DD a specific toy that she mentioned DD was asking for, and then my DS got a (probably) regifted item in exchange.

Every year, my mother in law buys my husband a shirt in the wrong size and leather gloves in garish colours for me. This is just a tradition now.

In my DH's family, there are a couple with a vegan and a vegetarian, two vegetarians and the rest eat meat/fish. The vegan/veggie couple (who I love dearly and aren't self-righteous AT ALL) were told to take the vegan leftovers when they went early on Boxing Day. Think vegan gravy, leftover pie and some fake chicken pieces along with vegan margarines and oat milk. Fine. It wouldn't have been used by anyone else.

But they literally took everything that wasn't a piece of meat! All the roast veg, all the vegetarian dishes from the previous 3 days, cabbage, all the veg sides, and the cranberry sauce for 12 people! It wasn't until we went to have the boxing day leftovers lunch that my MIL realized there was only bread and butter and a pack of cheddar for the vegetarians! So we heated up mash from the freezer and made a quick salad but it was still crazy that these two people would have an absolute feast while the rest of us ate ham and salad!

Veg is for everyone guys!

DDs partner gave us a turkey crown as his contribution to the Christmas Dinner
When he went home he took the leftovers with him.
I was so suprised I couldn't work out if its cfry or not

We host Uncle Tom every year (DH’s cousin). He’s usually no bother. However, this year he sent us a present list about 2 days before he was due to arrive with loads of expensive things on it - we’d already bought some token stuff. On his final night he also kept us awake for about 30 minutes as PayPal wouldn’t let him transfer some money to a Ukrainian “friend” who he wanted to stay with him over New Year.
I did go down and glare a him and he did pipe down...
He’s not coming next year!

I bought lovely, thoughtful (IMO) gifts for DS and BIL. They bought me a Pot Noodle gift set (comes with a mug). I've never eaten a Pot Noodle in my life!

We do secret Santa for the adults but to make it easier, you get a list of what everyone wants within the limit of £25. This has always worked but one family member tries to take the Mickey and always asks for something a bit over the limit. This year, every single thing was nearly double the limit. They were caught out by their wife as instead of getting the designer brand they asked for, they received an Aldi alternative!

Mil popped round on Christmas eve with the kids presents, apolagised that it wasn't much etc... The two eldest got knock off versions of games with the major parts missing and the youngest got clothes two sizes too small. The other grandchildren got a switch each amongst other things which she gladly told us about after asking dh if he could lend her some money to see her through as she was brassic and that's why the kids only had cheap things.
She along with dsis also ignored middle child on their birthday but said they'd pop in if they were going to smyths for any new switch games... They forgot.

But they literally took everything that wasn't a piece of meat! All the roast veg, all the vegetarian dishes from the previous 3 days, cabbage, all the veg sides, and the cranberry sauce for 12 people! It wasn't until we went to have the boxing day leftovers lunch that my MIL realized there was only bread and butter and a pack of cheddar for the vegetarians! So we heated up mash from the freezer and made a quick salad but it was still crazy that these two people would have an absolute feast while the rest of us ate ham and salad!

I'd have rung them up and asked them wtf they thought they were doing.

This is my favourite thread but I haven't had time to read it all yet. Will save that for later.

No CFery really here but two family members continued their ritual which happens every year. One gives the other a £20 M&S voucher and the other gives one back.

Hilarious.

I can't compete with some of these horrors but my DPs came to stay. We didn't do presents this year by mutual agreement, but DF gave me a tin of shortbread. Lovely gesture, thought I, until I discovered it was already half eaten . Nice try Dad!

I was generously given 2 tickets to a concert, which were not cheap for Christmas by my DM, who is a narc and not flushed with cash.
Problem is.... they are for a different country than the one I live in. A travel-lodge for one night is more than the already expensive tickets.
“Book now and it will be cheap”.
Given her not generally having Kahn money and me having zero hope of going to this concert I gave them back and asked her to get her money back.