To ask for your Christmas CFuckery stories?

[bluesteakandcheese]

I am currently laid up in bed feeling like utter garbage, spent last night being sick so I'm exhausted but can't sleep.
Anyway - as you can imagine I'm pretty bored (DH is staying away from me in case I've got a virus apart from to bring me water) so WIBU to ask for your Christmas CF stories to keep me entertertained?

I love receiving hampers. They are though from upmarket establishments eg Fortnum & Mason, Hotel Chocolat, specialist wineries, all very acceptable. Would never buy or afford them myself. Long may they continue.

I was ritually tortured by my partner's ghastly family. I was told we should alternate Christmasses between the two 'factions' and it was dreadful we did not. I hopelessly pointed out I have a mother too and a brother, but evidently they do not count.
Day 1. Attend Faction 1 Christmas we turn up at allotted time. The Granny is carted of to hospital with flu, no one informed us of this likelihood which had been planned since 10am. Most of faction also go to hospital. Granny's son does not phone to see how she is and has to be informed manually. Spend day worrying about flu and turkey Granny returns still hacking dreadfully.

1. Drive 1 million miles to see my Mum and brother but HAD to stop on way to see faction 2 on pain fo death. Once again reiteration of alternating Christmasses between two factions.

Once again explain I have a family too. Hideous controlling conversation in which other faction is subtly slated. Continue on way totally pissed off. Have reasonable time with my own family who are extremely non demanding. Drive home in total pitch blackness.

1. Stage family party for aggrieved faction 2. Endless cooking to stop them moaning. How nice it is to be all together. No it isn't, no we aren't. There is faction 1 and my family also.

I remind this fact rather loudly. Faction 2 leave stuffed and probably now in no doubt as to my plans for next year. Which are. To visit my family.On Christmas Day. Sit down beatches.

We hosted my ILs (again) for Christmas (I found out about our "offer" when DP told me his Mum had said "we're coming to you for Christmas"), and whilst they love to overindulge our DC with a load of crap they neither want or need, I traditionally receive Christmas-themed tea-towels. Just what the professional woman-about-town needs (for one week a year). Also, this is the third year in a row they've 'forgotten' the wine/champagne they were apparently going to bring, but then tuck into the stuff we've bought.

My own parents can't be arsed to think for themselves, so ask me to buy something for our DC on their behalf. That's fair enough I suppose, but my DM then hands over the gifts I have bought and wrapped on her behalf, usually with some ridiculously over-the-top tale of how she'd put a lot of thought into it, and when the DC open them she stage-whispers "Is that it?" at me! And she usually takes 3 months to pay me back, and disputes the amount she said she wanted to spend, so I end up short-changed.

Sod the lot of them @BrownSauceOfCourse !

Why do you let DH get away with 'offering'?

Mil, for Christmas, a few years ago gave me a ‘ladyshave’ which I was actually quite offended by! I am not that hairy and I have never ever hinted at wanting one.
Have loved reading all the stories though.

@Brownsauce - time to start hiding your alcohol when they show up.
Or just book a holiday away so you're not going to be in over Christmas in December.

I've no idea - I guess I just don't like to disappoint people, even if they don't mind disappointing me. To be clear, DP didn't offer - his parents just sort of invited themselves and neither of us had the heart to say anything other than "OK".

I actually don't really mind hosting - I'm always optimistic that each year will be better than the last, it's just that nobody ASKS if I mind, they just assume I'm OK with it, and that's what pisses me off the most. Well that, and the fact that neither of our brothers offer, so it's up to us to cope with them all (and sometimes a miserable Nan or a random Great Aunt as well).

Plus it's always quite good fun to watch my Mum see how much effort my ILs have put into buying the DC gifts, even if they are over the top.

There's always a point at which she sidles up to me and says something along the lines of "Well, I feel TERRIBLE now after THAT display - everyone must think we really don't care. Why do they always have to upstage us?" I always point out it's not a competition, and she says the same thing every year, so if she wants to 'win' the not-competition she needs to get her thinking cap on. But she never does. I love 'em really, they just all drive me fucking nuts.

A couple of years ago a friend gave me a very oddly-shaped parcel. The contents proved to be a blister pack of two old-fashioned torches, neither of which worked. Other mutual friends received similar strange gifts, the details of which I have mercifully forgotten. We concluded that the giver must have been clearing out her cupboards.

On a slightly more sad and serious note, as a child I remember that money was always tight and Christmas was a particular budgetary nightmare. Consequently, a lot of my Christmas presents were immediately requisitioned for re-gifting in subsequent years. I didn't realise until years afterwards that this was not normal!

So SiI and her husband rocked up on Christmas day empty handed. She had said if I got the roast beef and gammon she would pay me for them, she never did. Her dh is a complete glutton, he has three bowls of homemade soup to start. Ate three course dinner with homemade plum pudding and never lifted a finger to wash up. When I eventually got out of the kitchen my face was bright red due to slaving over a hot stove and unfortunately I was wearing a red top and looked a mess. She took a photo of me and I said please don't put that on facebook as I'm a mess. After they eventually left I sat down exhausted to have a browse on Facebook and sure enough she had my photo on, I was so upset I sat and cried. They were not invited back the next year.

These are wonderful...

I now want a Pot Noodle gift set after reading about one on here!

One year my aunt gave my mother and I a pair of socks each. They had obviously come from the same set (rather than giving a whole set) as they both had cows on. If you knew my aunt you would realise the choice of cows was sending us a message 😂

She took a photo of me and I said please don't put that on facebook as I'm a mess. After they eventually left I sat down exhausted to have a browse on Facebook and sure enough she had my photo on, I was so upset I sat and cried.

Have you asked her to take it down? I guess SiL is your DH sister? can he intervene?

Otherwise do you feel up to adding a comment on the photo: yes I'd been slaving over your dinner in the kitchen all day and asked you not to post this. Is there a reason you posted it? or something like that.

you know who not to invite next year.

My Christmas was a bit of a letdown... I have a 13 week old baby (my first) and it took years to conceive him with a few losses. Anywho we/he were the only of the grandkids to be at my mum at stepfathers farm for the whole Christmas Day so of course Santa came and my sisters brought my son a couple of little things.
My step father complained to me about how many presents my baby had. The other kids had opened their presents at their respected homes before coming to grandparents. My baby had 5 presents and 1 of those was my niece making a present out of her other sun hat
Having Xmas with my dad and stepmum this year!

My mum used to host a drinks & nibbles thing around 28th/29th Dec for their neighbours.

No one EVER asked my parents back. At any point in the year over the several years my mum would do this. They came to expect an invite to ours after Christmas though. Our greediest, smuggest and tightest neighbour over the road especially used to light up at the thought of it, comment about looking forward to it throughout the year and would always bring a very obviously regifted, cheap & often old/out of date token of her appreciation. Like the box of After Eights that were so old they'd gone stiff and leaked and had a 2 year previous best by date. The regift/cheap gift element isn't the problem, at least check the date on what you're giving.

Now that we know that the free meal not the hospitality was the attraction, my mum no longer bothers having a party, despite the hints from the greedy cow that she misses it.

My mum once bought me a packet of sanitary towels and my brother an advent calendar (to open on Christmas Day) once

@Fishbiscuits What did you do? I think under those circumstances I would have conveniently "forgotten" to take the adults' gifts with me!

I've only received one present from my father, for either Christmas or birthday, I'm now in my sixties. Out of the blue last year he gave me a present on Christmas day, wrapped and all. It was a diary - that year's, so out of date within a week.

I've read all these posts, and feel quite sad. You people sound lovely, but where is your assertiveness? It's the request, not the person, you're rejecting. Those people, who give you crap shit presents, but are not short of money, have that money, because they give you shit gifts. I am SO lucky! I did all this, the same. MIL came for Christmas, and stayed until mid February. I had already bought the biggest chest freezer I could find (£200) before her arrival, in the hope of her fitting in there. Knees bent, obviously. 3 cooked meals a day. Bitch. Our gifts were, a Bic razor, for the DH. From a multi pack. I was thrilled to receive a charity shop pair of tights. American Tan. 20 denier, pleading poverty. The very next day, DH drove her to an Antique Fair, where she spent 3 hours, happily spending c. £180 She's dead now. How very sad. She accused me of being a "Freeloader" even though she was staying in our house, and invited herself. American Tan indeed. I didn't know that was still allowed. Be strong you people. The various MIL and FIL things, just remind yourselves - time is not on their side, is it? Does that sound harsh? Yep. Beat yourself up, once. Then, move on. Be Assertive! Learn to say NO!!

I got a poundland advent calendar from my MIL who had invited herself over for Xmas day

American Tan indeed. I didn't know that was still allowed

It bloody shouldn't be! Horrible fucking colour!

Husbands brother moved in with us 2 weeks before Christmas after a messy (no going back) break up. Over the holidays he purchased all his own Christmas crap food. Which he has eaten 100% of.. We don't like what he eats. His main meals we have paid for in our normal shopping.
He left 2 days ago and has text today asking for £36 towards his food that we ate?

He hasn't paid 1p keep.
Used all out toiletries
Been paid for on 2 family meals
& had countless lifts in the car to and from where ever he wants.

CF!!!!!

Tell him to fuck off Kate

@Kate0902900908 - you (or your DH) needs to reply to that text with one like
"Ok, BIL, we'll deduct the cost of your meals, the bed and board we gave you, the incidentals of ours you used over the same time period...and that means you owe us £36. Shall we call it quits?"