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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was she ungrateful or was I inconsiderate?

99 replies

montmatre · 30/12/2019 08:06

My sister and I share an Amazon Prime account. Yesterday was her birthday so I decided to take inspiration from her Amazon browsing history. I ended up spending £250+ on her gifts. She guessed what I had done and told me it was a bit "uninspired" but she was happy with what she had been given. Tbh I did take the time to consider which items she would like best and they were wrapped beautifully. I also decorated her living room and arranged a decent meal. AIBU?

OP posts:
Winter2020 · 30/12/2019 08:07

Crazy. Spend £25 tops next year.

insanepizza · 30/12/2019 08:09

Uninspired? That sounds lovely. Your sister is spoilt and ungrateful.

Ragwort · 30/12/2019 08:09

Wow, that is unbelievably rude! What sort of gifts does she give you for your birthday?

My siblings and I exchange a jokey card and that’s it.

I would suggest you agree ‘no presents’ in future, so much simpler.

covetingthepreciousthings · 30/12/2019 08:10

Was it a big birthday? That seems a lot of money. Do you normally each spend that amount?

The uninspired comment was rude, but could she have been embarrassed that you'd spent so much?

Original poster
montmatre · 30/12/2019 08:11

It was a big birthday and my family always goes OTT.

OP posts:
Original poster
montmatre · 30/12/2019 08:13

She's having a birthday party tonight for friends and less close family members and I really cannot be bothered to go after her ungratefulness.

Will drink her champagne with a side of Chinese.

OP posts:
AnuvvaMuvva · 30/12/2019 08:19

How can you see someone else's Amazon browsing history?

ShirleyPhallus · 30/12/2019 08:19

It depends on what was on her browsing history tbh. If you looked at my browsing history it would be: kitchen bin, bird seeds, cath kidson stuff, kids bath toys.

The first two were for me, the latter two were gifts. I personally hate cath kidson stuff. So if I received all that for a present I’d think it was a bit lazy tbh. I wouldn’t be rude or ungrateful, just a bit disappointed you’d spent so much money on stuff I have no interest in.

On the other hand, if I had a wish list I’d think it was very thoughtful.

Which was it?

QuillBill · 30/12/2019 08:20

They share an account. It's the first line on the OP.

OhMyGodTheyKilledKenny · 30/12/2019 08:26

Personally my first thought was Shock as my Amazon browsing history usually contains random shit MNers have linked to for a laugh (Pat Butcher clock anyone?)

Original poster
montmatre · 30/12/2019 08:28

My sister and I very close (born 11 months apart). I can easily discern random items she's browsed from things she actually likes/wants.

OP posts:
OhMyGodTheyKilledKenny · 30/12/2019 08:30

Here you go, look this up on Amazon if you want an interesting browsing history.

They also do Phil Mitchell ones.

Was she ungrateful or was I inconsiderate?
CatteStreet · 30/12/2019 08:37

IIWY she would be getting precisely nothing next year and when she asked why, would be told that I was feeling 'uninspired'. I'd also be informing her I feel her birthday party is 'uninspired' and so I won't be coming.

(That is assuming you didn't go down the bird-seed-and-kitchen-bins route as per a PP; which I am assuming you didn't. Tbh there's not that much in my Amazon that I would like as a gift, but I'm sure you can tell 'would like' from 'mundane necessity purchase').

HollysBush · 30/12/2019 08:41

Wow! Wish I had a sister like you. What a lovely thing to do.

AnuvvaMuvva · 30/12/2019 08:42

They share an account. It's the first line on the OP.

🙈

Ponoka7 · 30/12/2019 08:45

Did she mean that she wanted something more personal, as a big birthday present?

Do you struggle with present buying for her, or do you know her tastes?

I can see both sides. It's best to just let it go. Does she actually like champagne? It would be petty to not give it if she does.

CatteStreet · 30/12/2019 08:50

Ponoka, it doesn't matter if she 'wanted something more personal', the recipient doesn't get to dictate gifts and her response was astoundingly rude. A proper put-down, before she then condescended to approve of the gifts.

It sounds a bit as if this family has a culture of expecting lavish gifts to ridiculous standards, and this has led this woman to believe it's acceptable to behave like this.

OP is very close to her sister, but is hurt over this comment. I don't think there's a 'both sides' to this. I'd want to show her that such rudeness has consequences.

JosephineDeBeauharnais · 30/12/2019 09:00

Crikey, I don't know either of you but I'm squirming with embarrassment at her saying that £250 of gifts is "uninspiring". Actually I'm both squirming and sort of admiringly horrified at the same time. How breathtakingly daring to be so carelessly rude - amazing Shock. I'm also amazed at your question OP, OF COURSE she's ungrateful! She's gone so far beyond ungrateful she's going to need a taxi back! Horrible. Properly, staggeringly, hilariously horrible.

Troels · 30/12/2019 09:00

Rude. I'd get my own amazon account after that. Stop sharing.

xoxoluna · 30/12/2019 09:11

Rude. She could simply have said thank you, instead of "uninspired" when she was already happy with the gifts!!

kanatano · 30/12/2019 09:12

The intention is good but it's better to have separate account for online shopping.

Babybel90 · 30/12/2019 09:13

Is she perhaps a little overwhelmed? If some bought me £250 worth of stuff I didn’t really want I’d be thinking I had to spend the same amount on them for their birthday and then I’d be thinking what a waste of £250.

ConstanceL · 30/12/2019 09:14

She does sound very ungrateful and rude. Had she been hinting about something else and was therefore disappointed? Could that explain (but not excuse) her brattish behaviour?

MrsEricBana · 30/12/2019 09:16

Wow. I'd be telling her I am now inspired to return the gifts and get my £250 back.

SusanneLinder · 30/12/2019 09:17

@OhMyGodTheyKilledKenny, thank you for your browsing history Grin. My daughter's boyfriend would love the Peggy Mitchell one.
also missespointofthethread