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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was she ungrateful or was I inconsiderate?

99 replies

montmatre · 30/12/2019 08:06

My sister and I share an Amazon Prime account. Yesterday was her birthday so I decided to take inspiration from her Amazon browsing history. I ended up spending £250+ on her gifts. She guessed what I had done and told me it was a bit "uninspired" but she was happy with what she had been given. Tbh I did take the time to consider which items she would like best and they were wrapped beautifully. I also decorated her living room and arranged a decent meal. AIBU?

OP posts:
Patsypie · 30/12/2019 10:56

Stop sharing an account for a start! I think you went a bit ott but she's a cheeky mare!

vassdal · 30/12/2019 11:01

If someone did that for me I'd end up with a load of rubber fetish wear......
I had to buy something else and Amazon sometimes throws weird stuff up into the search results and I ended up down a rabbit hole of really kinky stuff.
Maybe this happened with the OP and her sister and that's why the sister isn't amused.

Thehop · 30/12/2019 11:04

You’re mad to spend so much on such an ungrateful person.

Crinkle77 · 30/12/2019 11:06

I can't but think that you're bonkers spending £250 on your sisters birthday.

UptightFunk · 30/12/2019 11:13

It was a cheeky comment but it kind of depends on the presents too. On amazon I guess she is searching for stuff she would actually buy herself so not particularly special and it was a big birthday. Maybe she also thinks if you know her so well (like you say you do) why did you need Amazon?

It is ungrateful but your presents could also have been awful, so actually I think you are both BU!

PrincessHoneysuckle · 30/12/2019 11:15

Give her Baylis and Harding next year

FreeStar · 30/12/2019 11:33

Well I'd be horrified if you bought some of the tat I've browsed on Amazon!

Original poster
montmatre · 30/12/2019 11:40

I hid the orders and the emails go to my email account. No way she knew what I had bought her.

Also, I didn't indiscriminately pick out items. I used her browsing as a starting point.

OP posts:
wheretonow123 · 30/12/2019 11:41

I dont know what the phrase is - there's nothing as queer as folk - your sister sounds desperately ungrateful.

I ca only assume that this is a one off incident - otherwise why would you go to such lengths for her birthday. Like you spent £250+ on presents, decorated her room (presumably for her birthday) and arranged a meal for her.

It's not always possible to think of new ideas for presents and I think your method was as good as any. Very entitled and ungrateful of your sister in her reaction. Its up to you to decide how good your relationship with her is and the possible effect of you skipping the meal. Is certainly something I woldnt forget to soon.

As an aside our comment that your family always go OTT iin presents - I think that is a dangerous route for a family to go down. Some might fall on hard times and may sacrifice genuine need in order to keep up with the others. I think ye should scale it back.

wheretonow123 · 30/12/2019 11:42

your comment

Original poster
montmatre · 30/12/2019 11:43

Trust me the (4) items were all luxury. When asked what her favourite gifts were she mentioned 2 of mine!

Thought did go behind it, I had to pick from literally hundreds of items. And they were exquisitely decorated (I take pride in that).

OP posts:
Wtfdoipick · 30/12/2019 11:43

Nothing on my browsing history on Amazon is for me, everything I looked at recently was with other people in mind. If you did this to me you would get it so wrong it would be comical.

Original poster
montmatre · 30/12/2019 11:47

She did not object to the price. She is well off and I can thankfully afford the gifts. It is the norm to spend a lot on gifts in my family. I have bought expensive jewellery in the past. Maybe she was disappointed because of that.

OP posts:
Original poster
montmatre · 30/12/2019 11:47

Wtfdoipick - but I know my sister better than anyone. I know what beauty products she likes.

OP posts:
Lordfrontpaw · 30/12/2019 11:48

‘Uninspired’? I think it’s genius.

Watermelontea · 30/12/2019 11:52

She sounds ungrateful, my brother bought me a hideous Christmas decoration for Christmas, I wish I had a sibling who put some thought into a present like you did!
Next big birthday, get her a shitty gift voucher.

mummyway · 30/12/2019 11:57

She sounds like a bit of an u grateful cow

Original poster
montmatre · 30/12/2019 11:59

She's extremely warm and funny (normally). She had her new bloke around so I can only assume she was trying to act "cool" and the joke just didn't land.

OP posts:
Lordfrontpaw · 30/12/2019 12:01

I’d ask her (on the quiet) if she really didn’t like them. Maybe it was her browsing history for Great Uncle Arthur’s 90th birthday!

Wtfdoipick · 30/12/2019 12:01

montmatre as I said for me it would be wrong since I don't look on Amazon for myself. If you know your sister so well why did you even need to look on Amazon for inspiration. I know what make up brands my daughter wears, I also know if she looked at something on amazon and doesn't buy it it's because she decided it wasn't right.

I do think your sister was ungrateful but I also think you could have put more thought in originally rather than trying to take a short cut.

NoSquirrels · 30/12/2019 12:07

No matter if it was not what she’d have preferred, it is astonishingly rude to say that about your presents. Cheeky cow!

AloneLonelyLoner · 30/12/2019 12:10

Rude bisum!

notthemum · 30/12/2019 12:25

I think she is a cheeky cow.
You are lovely but definitely a bit OTT. Can I be your new sister please?
Have some 💐🍷and 🍫 just for you (and I didn't even look at Amazon. Lol).

WingingItSince1973 · 30/12/2019 14:16

As an only child (brother died) can you please be my sister ha ha. I take great pleasure in choosing gifts for people and always hope they've like them. Your sister is rude and seems ungrateful but if shes used to being spoilt maybe this is just her, or maybe she was just not thinking. That being said I think everyone should accept presents graciously and be thankful. Yes even a bayliss and harding set might seem just like a quick generic choice but someone might genuinely think recipient would like that. I've had some 'different' presents over the years but never have been rude and expected more. Just accept you did a really kind thing and it's more her problem than yours. Keep being you. No point making a big deal and missing out on her party. Ad a close sister she would be upset if you didnt go xx

Yeahnah2020 · 30/12/2019 15:10

OP you sound lovely and she is an ungrateful cow!!

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