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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Wheelchair / buggy on bus

999 replies

MoonlightMistletoe · 29/12/2019 23:13

Today I had got the bus with my sister we both have children I had my toddler who was walking and my one year old who's only just started to walk who is still in a buggy, my sister has a 12week old baby who was also in a buggy.

We had got on the bus as you do and the next stop another parent got on with their buggy, a few stops later we stop and straight away a woman is screaming/shouting at the rear doors with her phone in our faces demanding we collapse our buggies, very angry , shouting at us with buggies and also at the driver. The driver is telling us to stay put due to her being aggressive and recording us. Someone on the bus was telling us to co operate with the woman who wanted to get a person on the bus who was in a wheelchair. We know disabled people are a priority and had absolutely not said we wouldn't put the buggies down, I was taking my sleeping one year out the buggy while this woman was still swearing and being nasty and recording us, I had given my baby to my sister to sit with my toddler and herself while I was about to take her baby out the pram then all of a sudden everyone made a "ohhhhhhh" gasp and the disabled man has fallen down the side of the curb and bus sideways in his wheelchair.

She then looses her absolute shit at us for her own mistakes being so caught up in recording us to make sure we move that the man is now probably injured.

AIBU to think all she had to do was say excuse me can we move the buggies so I can get the wheelchair on?

OP posts:
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my2bundles · 04/01/2020 12:23

Sounds to me like the carer had every right to feel upset. If this was happening g to you day after day for possibly years on end how would you react?

Samcro · 04/01/2020 12:23

so the op has concluded she was nbu
so she has not changed her mind and ACTUALLY THANKED THE DRIVER for not allowing the wheelchair user and carer on the bus.
ffs why do people ask aibu then never listen.....attention seekers me thinks.
sadly as no one has reported the driver, he can carry on weilding his power on the most vulnerable.

Original poster
MoonlightMistletoe · 04/01/2020 12:24

@my2bundles well at the time being sworn at , shaking trying to clear the space I didn't really have the time to stop and think why she was being like that towards me. Whatever her reasons were were irrelevant at the time because it doesn't excuse you for abusive behaviour especially towards people who arnt doing anything wrong.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 04/01/2020 12:24

So why tell all the customers about previous incidents then?

Original poster
MoonlightMistletoe · 04/01/2020 12:25

Well I wouldn't take it out on the wrong people I would fight for the courtesy to be removed !!!

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 04/01/2020 12:26

So why tell all the customers about previous incidents?

Original poster
MoonlightMistletoe · 04/01/2020 12:26

@ilovesooty I don't know he just mentioned she has kicked off on passengers before. If he can't persuade them to move then he can't force them.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 04/01/2020 12:27

And you don't know how that carer felt so you don't know what you'd do.

ilovesooty · 04/01/2020 12:28

So you don't know why he mentioned it and you don't care that he did?

my2bundles · 04/01/2020 12:30

But you had loads of time to notice the frail old man outside the bus, notice he had fallen over and listen to tne drivers account of things. You say you had no time to stop and think yet you had plenty of time to nosy out thwindow and take in loads of information plus decide tne driver must be the one in the right.

Original poster
MoonlightMistletoe · 04/01/2020 12:34

Like I've said if the problem for people is that buggy's are abusing the system and you don't want to change that then nothing will change.

Do I feel sorry for the man, yes
Do I believe I caused him to fall, no
Will I change the way I travel, yes
Will buggy users campaign to take that courtesy away, no

So what more do you want me to do ? I've said I'm not reporting the driver because he didn't do anything wrong and I'm sure if the carer felt he did then she would have reported it.

The problem won't be resolved by shouting at people on the bus.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 04/01/2020 12:40

I'm not reporting the driver because he didn't do anything wrong

And there we have it. Truly obtuse.

melj1213 · 04/01/2020 12:41

Perhaps the driver mentioned that he'd had issues with this woman before to try and reassure the OP that she hadn't done anything wrong to cause the woman's meltdown.

I work in customer services in a supermarket and we used to have a rude customer who would come in and was always rude but occasionally would also drag other customers into their issue - eg yelling at a customer for cutting the line when in fact the customer was in the right and the RC had been in the wrong place/not in line etc. Once the RC had been dealt with, if a customer looked a bit upset/shocked then I would always try to reassure them that they had done nothing wrong and occasionally that would include a brief explanation that "You have no need to feel guilty/upset as you did nothing wrong, RC is well known for this kind of behaviour."

Original poster
MoonlightMistletoe · 04/01/2020 12:41

@ilovesooty like I said he got my children away from an abusive person I'm not going to then reporting for just saying she's been abusive in the past. Come on.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 04/01/2020 12:43

@melj1213 you were out of order as well then.

Original poster
MoonlightMistletoe · 04/01/2020 12:45

@melj1213 I do believe that was the case , reassurance as I was literally shaking I don't feel he said anything to be malicious at all.

If he'd had just drove past the stop or everything was quiet and he didn't tell anyone to move (that's if they was refusing) then that's a totally different story.

OP posts:
Original poster
MoonlightMistletoe · 04/01/2020 12:46

@ilovesooty ok sooty we will all just start being aggressive arseholes and that's ok then is it because we're stressed out and not doing anything to change it.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 04/01/2020 12:46

@MoonlightMistletoe so you refuse to acknowledge his failing to uphold professional standards and collude with his disablist behaviour. Just so we're clear.

Original poster
MoonlightMistletoe · 04/01/2020 12:48

@ilovesooty he wasn't being disablist he was protecting his passengers from an aggressive woman.

OP posts:
melj1213 · 04/01/2020 12:48

Why is it out of order to reassure an innocent party that they have done nothing wrong by stating a fact?

Original poster
MoonlightMistletoe · 04/01/2020 12:48

@ilovesooty the carer isn't disabled he wasn't talking about the man in the wheelchair.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 04/01/2020 12:48

As I said - wilfully obtuse.

my2bundles · 04/01/2020 12:49

You don't need to campaign to take away the courtesy for buggy spaces, you need to campaign for more buggy spaces. I'm not going to campaign for wheelchair spaces, we already did that , we won, it's buggy users turn now.

Original poster
MoonlightMistletoe · 04/01/2020 12:50

@ilovesooty obtuse? you are being rude. I'm not an idiot just because you have a different opinion to me.

OP posts:
Original poster
MoonlightMistletoe · 04/01/2020 12:50

@my2bundles but buggy users arnt doing the complaining are they!

OP posts:
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