Wheelchair / buggy on bus

[MoonlightMistletoe]

Today I had got the bus with my sister we both have children I had my toddler who was walking and my one year old who's only just started to walk who is still in a buggy, my sister has a 12week old baby who was also in a buggy.

We had got on the bus as you do and the next stop another parent got on with their buggy, a few stops later we stop and straight away a woman is screaming/shouting at the rear doors with her phone in our faces demanding we collapse our buggies, very angry , shouting at us with buggies and also at the driver. The driver is telling us to stay put due to her being aggressive and recording us. Someone on the bus was telling us to co operate with the woman who wanted to get a person on the bus who was in a wheelchair. We know disabled people are a priority and had absolutely not said we wouldn't put the buggies down, I was taking my sleeping one year out the buggy while this woman was still swearing and being nasty and recording us, I had given my baby to my sister to sit with my toddler and herself while I was about to take her baby out the pram then all of a sudden everyone made a "ohhhhhhh" gasp and the disabled man has fallen down the side of the curb and bus sideways in his wheelchair.

She then looses her absolute shit at us for her own mistakes being so caught up in recording us to make sure we move that the man is now probably injured.

AIBU to think all she had to do was say excuse me can we move the buggies so I can get the wheelchair on?

@MoonlightMistletoe you clearly said that the driver told you that she had filmed before and caused a scene. I don't see how that comment can be deemed acceptable.

My OH is a bus driver and gets a lot of abuse - wheelchair users are no exception, or in this case, his carer/friend/partner.
Maybe bus driver told OP not to bother folding their buggies as this passenger is a regular or known for kicking off? They can make a decision not to accept a passenger onto their bus if they are abusive.

Sorry, seen the update, didnt realise how long the thread is!

@OnceUponARiver I didn't mention a law of confidentiality. I referred to expected codes of conduct. He failed to meet them.

@MoonlightMistletoe I'm neither disabled nor a buggy user - but I'd happily support disabled people in any campaign they need to get the space they need. However, there's no need for me to do so because they have already been granted that space for their use. Their use. Not yours. You are the ones in the wrong and who need to change their behaviour. You. Not wheelchair users who are expected to beg and be humble and "nice" in order to use the space that is legally theirs. Don't be so obtuse.

So he was a frail old man now. Sorry OP but that just makes the drivers behaviour even worse. Report him now. Not only has he refused to allow buggy spaces to be folded he has also discussed passengers plus left a frail old man out in tne cold weather. If this is a regular accordance from tne driver I fully understand the carers rage. You as passengers should have understand the carers upset and insist they be allowed to board. Shame on you.

Wheelchair users shouldn't need to ask for their space to be cleared. Buggy users shouldn't be in there to begin with

This.

But the OP really still doesn’t get it and wants validation for being so upset when she says she was willing to move, but didn’t actually do so.

And sadly, in my experience (I don’t drive, so I take buses daily) the OP is typical of most parents with buggies and their attitudes to wheelchair users.

This thread is quite mild compared with what one reads on Facebook where parents with buggies are adamant and aggressive about their overbearing right to use a designated wheelchair space.

The OP has acknowledged wheelchair users' rights to their designated space. However she fails to understand why this bus driver was at fault.

@ilovesooty you fail to understand that abusive and aggressive behaviour isn't allowed.

Moon you fail to understand that a bus driver was very wrong to leave a frail old man out in the cold.

@Dolorabelle Why are you making out I had no right to be in that space ? Because I had every right to do so because it was free. If you arnt happy with the way things are ie the courtesy then do something to change it.

You fail to understand that discussing previous incidents with passengers breaches professional codes of conduct.

@my2bundles no he refused the woman on the bus because of her behaviour if she behaved appropriately the both would have been on the bus.

Moonlight
No one is failing to understand this. You are failing to understand that no one including you knows why she kicked off. You are presuming she is at fault when the balance of power is against her and failing to grasp she may have kicked off for reasons other than there being buggies in the space she was just about to occupy.

You also faile to understand that some disabilities prevent the person from. Communications their own need. You also failed to understand that if you had stood up and supported this carer and her ongoing battle with this particular driver you could actually make a difference . OP you fail to understand so many things.

@ilovesooty well I'm sorry if think I'm wrong for not reporting him for that because I actually thanked him from getting my children away from that woman.

Well it wasn't free once a wheelchair user needed it. It sounds as though he'd already decided they weren't getting on and insisted on telling customers about previous incidents.

What like asking for a their space when a moment ago you said they shouldn't need to ask.
I will not stand for someone abusing me in front of my children it was unnecessary behaviour and I didn't deserve that.

I fail to understand why when you saw a frail old man left in the cold you refused to do anything about it.

@ilovesooty are you not listening ? Bus stopped, woman starts swearing at me, I see the wheelchair, I take my baby out , woman is recording me calling me a cunt, bus driver says stay put because of her attitude, man falls, woman drags him up, they go away from bus, bus driver drives off.

I don't need to to tell me I'm wrong when she was clearly the problem in all of this.

You could have used this as a teaching moment. You could have explained why this carer was so upset and shown them that if you all stood together you could have helped the frail old man and his carer board tne bus showing real human compassion. But no you couldn't possibly do that could you.

You made it quite clear that the driver justified his refusal by referring to previous incidents. It sounds to me that he was never going to let her on.

@my2bundles because her so called carer was abusive towards me don't you dare make me feel guilty for her own wrong doings.

@ilovesooty that does not mean he wasn't letting them on though because they would have if she didn't kick off.

You don't feel at all guilty. No one's making you feel anything.