Wheelchair / buggy on bus

[MoonlightMistletoe]

Today I had got the bus with my sister we both have children I had my toddler who was walking and my one year old who's only just started to walk who is still in a buggy, my sister has a 12week old baby who was also in a buggy.

We had got on the bus as you do and the next stop another parent got on with their buggy, a few stops later we stop and straight away a woman is screaming/shouting at the rear doors with her phone in our faces demanding we collapse our buggies, very angry , shouting at us with buggies and also at the driver. The driver is telling us to stay put due to her being aggressive and recording us. Someone on the bus was telling us to co operate with the woman who wanted to get a person on the bus who was in a wheelchair. We know disabled people are a priority and had absolutely not said we wouldn't put the buggies down, I was taking my sleeping one year out the buggy while this woman was still swearing and being nasty and recording us, I had given my baby to my sister to sit with my toddler and herself while I was about to take her baby out the pram then all of a sudden everyone made a "ohhhhhhh" gasp and the disabled man has fallen down the side of the curb and bus sideways in his wheelchair.

She then looses her absolute shit at us for her own mistakes being so caught up in recording us to make sure we move that the man is now probably injured.

AIBU to think all she had to do was say excuse me can we move the buggies so I can get the wheelchair on?

People like my child will have their disability for life, they will require these spaces plus changing places plus have to battle for countless other services for life. You have a baby/ toddler for a few short years. Long after they stop needed ingredients these facilities people like my child will continue needling them.them.and facing tne same battles day after day, in a couple of years another generation of parents will be abusing their services. Think, is it really such a hardship folding a buggu and facing a slight struggle for a few short years to avoid abusing facilities which are not intended for you? I understand the Carr in the OP, I understand the sheer frustration when once again others are taking facilities which mean my child is denied the very basics in life. Live this every blinking day before you judge, go on I challenge you. Most would not last 5 minutes. Don't challenge disability parents, you will not win. And breathe.

@MoonlightMistletoe oh you are very obtuse aren't you. Disabled people are being adversely affected everyday by abled bodied people who think they are more entitled to their spaces. However, instead of reflecting on why this woman reacted the way she did (hint - she has a history with the driver and I'd put money on him being a twat) you continue to protest that you were in the right.

I do admire @gingersausage and @Mummyoflittledragon for their persistence in trying to educate you, and parents like you.

The law is clear. You do not have the right to that space. You should not be in that space. If you had not been in that space then in all probability the woman would not have reacted the way she did. She did that because you were in the space that is protected for wheelchair users.

It's really not that difficult to understand?

Parents have to take responsibility for their own campaigns or, if you really want to stand alongside wheelchair users and really support them don't get onto a bus if you can't fold your pushchair or if the only space is the wheelchair space. That way you will be sending a very powerful message to the bus companies that despite them bending the law to get more profit, you stand by the law and will protect those spaces.

But you won't do that will you. And people like the care will continue to be angry at you.

I just get off I really depend on being able to get the bus which is largely empty, and I’m yet to do this. It’s safer to have a baby in the pram (when you think of all the effort people go to to keep babies safe in cars, ok buses may not have as many incidents but if they do slam suddenly it is with a big force). So I’d rather spread the word on people being considerate than banning it.

I think the op is now on a wind up.
Im so sorry that this thread has caused hurt to so many people.
Telling disabled people to campaign for something that is already theirs, just to save people like the op time is beyond goady.
Fold up or get off.

@my2bundles I'm in no way trying to make out that I should have some sort of priority and I do understand that your children will need things for life and my children will outgrow a buggy. I've said and I will say again I won't be using a bus so that's one less buggy on board but is that going to stop other people using your space no it's not.

Now I've only suggested ways in which it could help YOU not me but you! So I don't see why everyone is getting angry at me when not once have I refused to move, not once have I said disabilities don't matter, not once have I said I'm more important. Instead the thread has taken a detour and people are taking their frustrations out on me.

The thing is. It doesn’t matter in the slightest what any of you say. If there is no wheelchair user in that space then someone with a buggy is allowed to use it. That’s the rule on the bus and no matter how much you whine it’s not going to change. OP was absolutely within their right to occupy the space before a wheelchair user was present and was willing to give it up once a wheelchair user appeared. The carer being an abusive asshat that shouldn’t be allowed on public transport is a different issue all together. End of story.

@Samcro how am I on a wind up. I was folding my fucking pram. Don't take your frustrations out on me I've never refused to move and I will never get on a bus again. Is that going to help no it's not because the people who do refuse to move arnt going to help you either what don't you understand about that?

Moonlight I'm. other going to campaign. We did that already and won. IF buggy users want the space then they should campaign. YES I will continue to complain to the people who abuse the space thanks very much

@my2bundles but you haven't won have you if you did you wouldn't be struggling to get into your space because whoever made the rules made them so that they can be used by other people unless a wheelchair user needs it. So all I was saying perhaps it's best if that courtesy should be taken away because it's being abused and if buggy users have a problem with that then they need to campaign for their own space. I don't see how me saying that has sparked anger towards me when if you'd notice I'm a buggy user suggesting taking that space away!

Why not a campaign of buggy users to spread the word about folding buggies before boarding buses/staying out of the space intended for wheelchair users/restricting the space so that buggies aren’t allowed? Why on earth should people with disabilities have to campaign for such things? I would be impressed to see buggy users stand up for the rights of those with disabilities, even if it meant they themselves were slightly inconvenienced as a result.

But I won’t be holding my breath. People will continue to claim entitlement for things they have no right to. And the only people who will lose out are the individuals with disabilities.

But they can use the space - just as a lower priority. If people get off then no one is inconvenienced. If they want to avoid doing this like op then yes take a sling etc.

@DotForShort You are completely right, I also don't think anyone should have to campaign for anything. But this is the way it is I don't see people are going to take the time to do something that will inconvenience them I'd love to think they would but we all know that won't happen.

no I'm not having a laugh for crying out loud! Fine don't do a campaign but then don't complain that people are using the space. Twats will be twats the only way to fully stop people using the space is to ask for a STRICT wheelchair only space!

As dot says - there is nothing stopping you getting on the bus, folding your pushchair, saying to other parents in the wheelchair space -
"do you want a hand folding your pushchair so we can keep this space free for the people who really need it"

If you said you were going to do this then I think it would demonstrate you were honest and faithful in your assertions that you've taken on board the life experience of those using a wheelchair.

Plus on getting on the bus you could loudly and clearly say to the driver -

"do shout up loudly if we're approaching a bus stop with a wheelchair user so we can make sure the space is clear for them to use"

thereby reinforcing the social message which would be that this considerate behaviour is the 'norm' - look up nudge/behaviour theory to see how societal behaviours (good or bad) are 'normalised'.

If you did this a) it sends a message to the bus of societal expectations and b) it puts the driver on message that s/he can't say there was no space, too difficult - thereby enabling you to report the behaviour of a driver that ignored this social cue in the future.

I use the buggy on the bus on a daily basis. I would say where I live it’s a 1 in every 50 times when a wheelchair user gets on. And when that occurs I will of course vacate. But for the other 49 times I will absolutely use that space and know everyone else will too because thats the very simple rule.

The carer was being abusive and I suspect the bus driver can refuse to allow abusive passengers on the bus. It's awful that the disabled man got hurt but that's not OPs fault. If the woman had been patient for 20 seconds the whole issue would have been avoided.
It's very unusual for parents to refuse to move because everyone knows wheelchair users have priority. You can use the space if there isn't a wheelchair there. No-one is disputing that, but if you want no-one else to use them what's the matter with trying to change things?

Yes hun. Totes x

Im of to bang my head against a brick wall. Nothing will change, the attitudes on this thread prove it.

@Rosebel wow thanks for your insight 🙄. You obviously missed the other 700 posts saying the same thing. If you’re going to jump on the end of a long thread, at least have the courtesy to read some of it and get a feel for what’s going on.

Well there were still people missing the point. And thanks but I can join in when I feel like it.

@Rosebel I honestly don't understand I have even suggested taking the courtesy away from buggy users which would help them and I'm apparently wrong for even suggesting it because they've already campaigned once. If that was me I'd be campaigning until I got what I originally asked for not something which doesn't have a consequence to those who abuse the system.

@myrtleWilson I could easily suggest to help someone fold their buggy it doesn't mean they won't tell me to piss off, because they are allowed to be there.

But thats my point moonlight - its about a social movement to change the norm. Always starts with one step, if one is willing to take it.... perhaps you're not though.

@myrtleWilson of course I understand and that does make sense and we need to start somewhere , I would definitely offer to help if a wheelchair user happens to need a space later on in a journey just like I'd not take a buggy on the bus after the incident, however I don't know how nice the people are where you live but I'd definitely be told to fuck off and mind my business if I was to suggest that before hand especially where I live it's a "rough" area, I have anxiety as it is.

Yeah I get that but sometimes surely you have to stand up for what you believe in otherwise you risk looking to others that you believe in something else?