Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unexpected use of holiday home

445 replies

Puzzledandpissedoff · 29/12/2019 11:17

Not quite Mexican House Thief - at least not yet! - but I'm trying no to get dragged into this and would welcome anyone's advice

Friend A has a holiday home in Florida and was persuaded to offer it to son of Friend B for a free fortnight's holiday with his girlfriend
Friend B's son (23) invited a load of mates to go instead, claiming his GF couldn't make it, but didn't tell A about this
Friend A - who's only just discovered this - has said no to the mates, some of whom are very dubious (a couple have convictions for affray)
Both B and her son insist flights to Orlando are all paid for, so it's now not fair to refuse them

As C I'm close to all of them, and though I'm trying to stay out of it I'm getting my ear thoroughly bent by everyone, expecting me to take sides. FWIW I believe B's son has been pretty deceitful over this and shouldn't expect to dictate who stays at someone else's home, but would be interested in the MN verdict

YABU = since flights are now paid for they should be allowed to go
YANBU = A should say no because she wasn't told those going had changed

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Rafflesway · 29/12/2019 13:39

Absolute no brainier!

Sorry but I would have no hesitation in telling "Friend B" she is out of order on this occasion. Okay, so she takes the huff! Who needs a friend with such a cheap and nasty attitude and who has a lowlife for a son?

ProfessionalBoss · 29/12/2019 13:40

Just checked back in to make sure the vote hadn't changed. Its unanimous! B & son need to learn to respect other people and boundaries!

Unexpected use of holiday home
Lweji · 29/12/2019 13:40

I'm impressed. 100% YANBU.

Of course, friend A is perfectly reasonable to say no. It was bad enough that they were "persuaded" to allow to stay for free to friend B's son and girlfriend.

I suppose your actual problem is if and how to stay neutral.
Maybe ask your friend B what they'd think if the situation was reversed. Worst case, show them this thread. Grin

Personally, I'd be telling off my son, not creating problems with my friend. It almost makes you think friend B suggested that plan to their son. Hmm

Rafflesway · 29/12/2019 13:40

brainer (flaming autocorrect)

OoohTheStatsDontLie · 29/12/2019 13:41

Whenever I've booked a house or apartment hire abroad -

You have to say on the booking form who is going and if it changes without informing them, then the booking may not be valid

They often stipulate no stag / hen groups, single sex groups, or groups under 21 or 25.

Your friend with the dodgy son is being completely ridiculous. Renting to a couple is very different from renting to 5 23 year olds. Much less chance of drunken damage and less wear and tear, less cleaning.

Also it's one thing doing your friends son and his pleasant girlfriend a favour, it's quite another being forced into a favour to a group of lads some with convictions, who you've never met.

I think your nice friend is right to insist on saying no or charging full price to the group (or flat refusing if she never rents to groups of this demographic).

nevermorelenore · 29/12/2019 13:43

If he's 23 and wanting to rent a car in the USA, won't it cost a fortune? I remember going to pick up a rental car in the states and the agency didn't even rent to under 25s. I suspect the agencies who do will charge a lot.

Hmm, got an affray conviction in another EU country? Was this on a lads holiday/stag do by any chance? Makes me wonder if they're the kind to get absolutely shitfaced as soon as they get on the plane.

Lweji · 29/12/2019 13:45

Is friend B a DM reader? She might come across how CF she is anyway...

iforgotthatyouexisted · 29/12/2019 13:45

I'd be firmly on A's side. The only way I'd be letting this holiday go ahead is if there was a hefty deposit paid for breakages. That's not the only issue though, if they cause trouble you could end up with pissed off neighbours too.

Friend B is being really unfair.

DingDongSchadenfreudeOnHigh · 29/12/2019 13:46

They effectively booked flights under false pretences - of course Friend A shouldn't let them go.

She (reluctantly by the sound of it) agreed to let a couple use her property for a quiet break - she did NOT agree to a group of rowdy lads whooping it up there!

The fact that Friend B's son was so deceitful about it says volumes - he knew that what he was doing was wrong and is tried to get away with it.

I wouldn't want a large single-sex group in a property of mine -God alone knows what state it will be left in.

CoolCarrie · 29/12/2019 13:50

Wow ive never seen 100% on AIBU ! Pretty clear OP.

nowaypose · 29/12/2019 13:52

This is the first time I have seen 100% YANBU in the polls. Of course friend A has everything right to tell them to sod off, it’s her home and she did not allow a bunch of guys in their early twenties to stay.

CokeAndCrispsAndDip · 29/12/2019 13:53

Friend B is wrong for pressuring A to go along with this, it doesn't make her a good friend. The son obviously couldn't care less. Tough shit if they lose their flight money, they booked flights without permission to stay so they'll just have to book somewhere else.

Original poster
Puzzledandpissedoff · 29/12/2019 13:54

Does friend A own the house jointly with anyone else
How many friends is B's son taking?

OP posts:
bettybattenburg · 29/12/2019 13:55

Although maybe they just check at random rather than every single traveller. Not a risk I'd be wanting to take anyway.

No, me neither.

CoolCarrie · 29/12/2019 13:55

I bet the son was trying to be the big man , impressing hi s mates ! Sounds awful behaviour

DartmoorDoughnut · 29/12/2019 13:56

Hell no would I let a group like that stay in any hypothetical holiday house I owned

Galahappy · 29/12/2019 13:57

@puzzledandpissedoff, why are you asking yourself questions?

SenecaFalls · 29/12/2019 13:58

"Affray" you say. Then YANBU. I live in Florida. We have enough home-grown affray without having to import additional from other countries.

Dolorabelle · 29/12/2019 13:59

First time I've seen a 100% agreement that YANBU on MN!

Your Friend B and her son are untrustworthy and I'd be rethinking my friendship with Friend B tbh.

lottiegarbanzo · 29/12/2019 14:00

'Friend' B is no friend to A. What a user!

Mates can stay in a hostel. Son of B needs to pay a vast deposit against damage. If indeed A is still allowing son of B to stay. Given that he's demonstrated himself untrustworthy and will therefore inevitably let his mates stay, whatever he says to A or to B, I would rescind his invitation entirely, were I A.

He and his dodgy mates can all find alternative accommodation and learn somthing about deceit and reputation.

scarecrowhead · 29/12/2019 14:02

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

CoolCarrie · 29/12/2019 14:03

Puzzled why are you asking yourself a question?

scarecrowhead · 29/12/2019 14:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 29/12/2019 14:09

Why are you questioning yourself?

BoomBoomsCousin · 29/12/2019 14:09

Although maybe they just check at random rather than every single traveller. Not a risk I'd be wanting to take anyway.

I don’t know about other EU countries, but US border control do not have routine access to the UK’s databases holding people’s convictions. There’s no reasonable expectation that you’d be caught if you lied unless someone ratted you out.

Swipe left for the next trending thread