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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unexpected use of holiday home

445 replies

Puzzledandpissedoff · 29/12/2019 11:17

Not quite Mexican House Thief - at least not yet! - but I'm trying no to get dragged into this and would welcome anyone's advice

Friend A has a holiday home in Florida and was persuaded to offer it to son of Friend B for a free fortnight's holiday with his girlfriend
Friend B's son (23) invited a load of mates to go instead, claiming his GF couldn't make it, but didn't tell A about this
Friend A - who's only just discovered this - has said no to the mates, some of whom are very dubious (a couple have convictions for affray)
Both B and her son insist flights to Orlando are all paid for, so it's now not fair to refuse them

As C I'm close to all of them, and though I'm trying to stay out of it I'm getting my ear thoroughly bent by everyone, expecting me to take sides. FWIW I believe B's son has been pretty deceitful over this and shouldn't expect to dictate who stays at someone else's home, but would be interested in the MN verdict

YABU = since flights are now paid for they should be allowed to go
YANBU = A should say no because she wasn't told those going had changed

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
ProfessorSlocombe · 29/12/2019 19:07

I can’t imagine a UK court would be interested in hearing about something that happened abroad.

Not true for a few years now ...

ProfessorSlocombe · 29/12/2019 19:10

Also she pays a neighbour to look out for the place rather than a formal security company,

So it's entirely possible an armed neighbour - rather than a security guard with (hopefully) some training - could turn up ....

onalongsabbatical · 29/12/2019 19:11

Pease tell A she's got pretty much 3000 mumsnetters on her side with virtually no dissenters; might cheer her up...
Well done A!

Graphista · 29/12/2019 19:11

@HannaYeah I thought as much. I’ve never been to America myself but have a part of my family lives there (different state though which I know makes a difference on many things) and just from watching —too much— American tv and film i thought there’d be issues like this - plus it would be an issue here too! If a bunch of lads got lairy in a holiday let here the owner would get complaints from the neighbours at the very least and possibly have issues with council and police in the location of the let.

Op I think it’s pretty clear the lads mum DID know what the plan was from the off and so has been complicit in trying to deceive your other friend. Quite honestly you and the homeowner would not be unreasonable in cutting this friend off altogether. She’s a disloyal, entitled cheeky fucker as much as her son is.

Is the neighbour at the holiday home an assertive confident type? If I were the homeowner I’d be giving them a heads up and telling them to not hesitate in calling police if the son and his mates try to gain entry (could they?) as they have not been given permission and have no business being there.

I’m not surprised the owner is upset this is a dreadful way for a supposed friend to treat her.

ProfessorSlocombe · 29/12/2019 19:15

Is the neighbour at the holiday home an assertive confident type?

I think anyone toting a .45 could be called assertive and confident ...

Original poster
Puzzledandpissedoff · 29/12/2019 19:22

Is the neighbour at the holiday home an assertive confident type?

You could say that, Graphista; he's actually a really lovely guy, but looks like Jabba the Hutt (only much taller and without the charm) Wink

Since some of B's wailing was about "how can they afford somewhere else" it seems the focus may have moved away from them staying at A's house, but I wouldn't fancy their chances if they try

OP posts:
Stressybetty · 29/12/2019 19:45

Presumably B's mum isn't prepared to pay A for the cleaning and repair costs after her DS and his mates have trashed the place

Dolorabelle · 29/12/2019 20:01

@PuzzledandPissedoff you're a star! You've done sterling work there. I find it extraordinary that your Friend B and her DS are so thoughtless!

Rosspoldarkssaddle · 29/12/2019 20:03

If B is soooooo upset for her son, she can book and pay for other accommodation.

elmosducks · 29/12/2019 20:08

Well done. They have time to raise cash for accommodations and spends if they really want to go, it isn't as if they were going next week...

YouretheChristmasCarcass · 29/12/2019 20:08

Tell A that I'm more than willing to fly to Fla (I'm in Calif) and 'babysit' her house for the duration of the little shit's time in Fla.

The only problem is that I'd be AWOL when the WDW parks are open. 😆

Arnoldthecat · 29/12/2019 20:14

YANBU OR they pay full prices plus a security deposit

BaolFan · 29/12/2019 20:20

I'll go OP. I'll selflessly volunteer not to leave the house at all for the duration of the ASBO crew's visit - and I'll do it free of charge. DBS checked and everything Grin

BlouseAndSkirt · 29/12/2019 21:14

So it's entirely possible an armed neighbour - rather than a security guard with (hopefully) some training - could turn up

Hoping that B’s Ds gets shot is possibly slightly harsh, even if nearly 3k people do think he is BU. No?

Pinkyyy · 29/12/2019 21:38

That's a good outcome OP. Thank god she put her foot down.

Annonymiss123 · 29/12/2019 21:53

YADNBU!!

There’s plenty of cheap accommodation on International Drive that have free shuttles to the theme parks. 😉

Thelnebriati · 29/12/2019 22:00

2952:0. This has to be a first in the history of voting on AIBU.

Unexpected use of holiday home
Graphista · 29/12/2019 22:22

Neighbour sounds a good 'un so that's a weight off friends mind

5foot5 · 29/12/2019 22:23

Actually even if the DS of B now said he had changed his mind and it would just be him and gf as originally planned, I still wouldn't let him stay as he has proved to be totally untrustworthy

andyjusthangingaround · 29/12/2019 22:59

@Puzzledandpissedoff
Your friend will thank you! You have done great!

only 3 more to go till 3000 YANBU record 😂

Raspberrytruffle · 29/12/2019 23:05

Her place her rules, they are definitely cf

Instagrump · 29/12/2019 23:14

I wouldn't allow a bunch of lads in my holiday home!
His mother is being completely and utterly unreasonable!
I would suggest if she does go through with it, that she gets a proper check in and check out inspection done and gets an agreement for damages written up with the friend, not the son. After all, he doesn't have money does he? OR, get a proper deposit paid by them all first.

Many moons ago my now DH went on a weekend to Blackpool with his friends and they wanted to get a B&B when they got there. Every single place turned them down despite having vacancies so DH and his best friend went to try one place and their friends went elsewhere. They all got rooms. DH and his friend, both who didn't drink very much when out had a lovely stay, paid up the day after and left. The other half of their group? They got a room and being drunk and dickheads, broke up the furniture and threw it out of the windows for a laugh and left before the owners saw it and, I assume, called the police.

DH was horrified and still talks about it to this day, twenty odd years later.

LigPatin · 29/12/2019 23:39

Hands up who thinks there's going to be a part 2 thread in March with B's son going anyway and kicking up a fuss about being locked out?

Weenurse · 29/12/2019 23:59

✋

Ayemama · 30/12/2019 00:00

I'm so glad A stood.up to B's bratty son!