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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unexpected use of holiday home

445 replies

Puzzledandpissedoff · 29/12/2019 11:17

Not quite Mexican House Thief - at least not yet! - but I'm trying no to get dragged into this and would welcome anyone's advice

Friend A has a holiday home in Florida and was persuaded to offer it to son of Friend B for a free fortnight's holiday with his girlfriend
Friend B's son (23) invited a load of mates to go instead, claiming his GF couldn't make it, but didn't tell A about this
Friend A - who's only just discovered this - has said no to the mates, some of whom are very dubious (a couple have convictions for affray)
Both B and her son insist flights to Orlando are all paid for, so it's now not fair to refuse them

As C I'm close to all of them, and though I'm trying to stay out of it I'm getting my ear thoroughly bent by everyone, expecting me to take sides. FWIW I believe B's son has been pretty deceitful over this and shouldn't expect to dictate who stays at someone else's home, but would be interested in the MN verdict

YABU = since flights are now paid for they should be allowed to go
YANBU = A should say no because she wasn't told those going had changed

OP posts:
Thread gallery
6
Sodamncaughtinthemiddle · 29/12/2019 14:54

I'm gobsmacked that B thinks they can force A to accept a lads holiday in her holiday home. Entitled much.

Itsjustmee · 29/12/2019 14:55

If they lie on the ESTA they will get in unless they start trouble on the plane or in customs

I know lots of people who have done this including myself .
I was arrested and charged for assault when I was a teenager so many many years ago.

I’ve been to the states multiple times on a ESTA with no problems in fact I was there in October on a ESTA for a holiday

But that aside your friend is not being unreasonable to want a bunch of lads in her home when it was supposed to be a couple

MulticolourMophead · 29/12/2019 14:55

YANBU. Friend A is completely in the right to tell them to sod off.

My feelings exactly.

pelirocco123 · 29/12/2019 14:57

I have seen people taken away at immigration so would be wary about lying

Interestedwoman · 29/12/2019 14:58

If they're still planning to bring the friends who weren't agreed to, that's obviously not ok.

girlygirl98 · 29/12/2019 14:59

Absolutely not. What a cheek! Friend a is in the right

LemonPrism · 29/12/2019 14:59

She was being very kind to even offer it to him and his GF and retains every right to refuse it now the criteria has changed.

vincentsleftear · 29/12/2019 14:59

YANBU at all. And the ones with convictions won't get an ESTA. They risk being deported if they lie on the forms.

Esspee · 29/12/2019 15:00

10 pages in and it’s unanimous. Never seen that before 😄

selmabear · 29/12/2019 15:04

Friend A is absolutely in the right.

BaronessBomburst · 29/12/2019 15:10

I'm amused by the suggestions that Puzzledandpissedoff was trolling whilst using her regular posting name. Grin

mummyway · 29/12/2019 15:12

What a cheeky and entitled twat. No, your friend a should say no and stick to it.

RandomMess · 29/12/2019 15:20

How has the lie about who is going come to light?

Was son originally lying to B or has she always known/suspected?

coconutpie · 29/12/2019 15:21

YANBU. Also, I think you would be doing a really crappy thing to A by not standing by A and calling out B for being a CF. A needs to say no and I would also be telling B that it won't be offered to B or B's family ever again because of this deceit.

Just wondering ... how did A find out about it?

MulticolourMophead · 29/12/2019 15:21

It's showing 1% YABU, wonder why?

Mummyoflittledragon · 29/12/2019 15:21

You really do know some cfs p&p.... the wedding present debacle and now this!

Jaichangecentfoisdenom · 29/12/2019 15:22

If I were Friend A, I'd be a bit worried that, as they know the address of her property, they would ignore her wishes, use their flights, and just rock up at her holiday home and break in and wreck it. (Though I am a notorious catastrophiser.) I hope Friend A has someone on the spot who can look out for her and make sure nothing like this happens.
I'm still stunned at the only AIBU thread I've seen on MN which is in one hundred per cent agreement!

StillRunningWithScissors · 29/12/2019 15:24

Going in three months time. Isn't March when spring break happens in the US? As in large numbers of uni students descending on parts of Florida to party?

NettleTea · 29/12/2019 15:28

It's showing 1% YABU, wonder why?
B, B's son and B's sons dodgy mates have voted

HugoSpritz · 29/12/2019 15:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HannaYeah · 29/12/2019 15:30

@Jaichangecentfoisdenom

I’d be worried about that also. Hopefully it’s in a building or community that has security.

TreeTopTim · 29/12/2019 15:31

Who would vote that A is being unreasonable.

I think B and her son knew exactly what the plan was from the get go.

Berrylove · 29/12/2019 15:32

A lads holiday is VERY different from a couples retreat, I would definitely tell him no.

BMW6 · 29/12/2019 15:34

"Friend" B is a twat and a lousy parent, as she has raised a twat.

MsTSwift · 29/12/2019 15:35

I suspect the YABU was clicked I error easily done!