Re 'if you're well enough to be out you're well enough to be in work'

[Misscromwellrocks]

My sister is getting over a really bad chest infection and is at the stage of being able to potter down to the village for a bit of fresh air every morning before going back home to rest.

She's due back in to work after Christmas tomorrow but really could do with another couple of days recuperating. She's a bit worried though as a colleague of hers was coming out of Tesco yesterday and stopped and exchanged a bit of small talk. My sister is now worried that she'll be seen as a shirker on the grounds that she's well enough to be out etc.

Aibu to think there's a huge difference between
getting up at 6.30, facing a long coomute, a full day at work, another long commute home and
having a lie on, going for a short stroll to the shops or to a local cafe, then going back home to rest.

Being able to do the latter in no way implies your up to the former in my opinion.

Part of rehabilitation is starting to get out and about to rebuild stamina, have social interactions, and adjust to the demands of normality.

To pick up on the cinema example, if you were rehabilitating after major surgery or illness then actually it would be appropriate to start incorporating short activities like that into your days amidst all the dull, dull resting and physio exercises. Otherwise people would end up seriously mentally unwell on top of what they were already trying to recover from.

Depression is a common and serious complication of major surgery/illness that can manifest weeks or months into recovery, so health professionals will be advising short bursts of light activities away from home where possible. Like sitting in a cinema or coffee shop for an hour or so.

There's good reason the people coming out with the bullshit quoted and that you see on here are not the doctors making these decisions.

I recently bumped into an ill colleague in tescos. He was buying food and was actually looking at painkillers when I stopped to chat. He looked very guilty, with absolutely no reason.

Not everyone is lucky enough to have someone wait on them when they are ill, and a quick walk to the shops can also help the gradual recovery to normal life.

YANBU

Of course it's reasonable to be out of the house on short walks or doing essential grocery shopping during convalescence. Some people do abuse sick leave though and where there are people doing that in a workplace and others have to cover people become generally less understanding even of the genuinely convalescent sadly.

I've got a colleague who's openly admitted she's looking for a new job and doesn't want to work shifts any longer - she's been calling in randomly sick and leaving colleagues unable to go home to their other responsibilities roughly once per week. She didn't come in yesterday and dragged herself in today wrapped in a big scarf and clutching a thermos, saying she has a dreadful sore throat and really should go home, but last time I fell for that she later forgot herself and talked about having met her ex for a drink that night and wanting to discuss whether she should get back together with him - completely forgetting she'd dumped a double shift on me by claiming to be coming down with flu that day!

So sometimes there is a reason people are short of understanding for those in the convalescent stage if they see them doing more than getting a bit of air/ stretching their legs/ buying essentials, because they are having to cover extra shifts sometimes at quite significant personal cost and have been caught out exhausting themselves and working all hours to cover for someone who is not really ill before.

Years ago I worked on school dinners and one of our ladies regularly had one or two days off sick. One day she was seen working in a fish shop when she should have been at school. My boss reported to her manager who said it can depend on what's wrong she could have been able to do one job but not the other. We couldn't work that one out as they both involved standing, cleaning and working with food. Some people do take the piss but then they usually take the piss in other ways. I have learnt after losing pay last year when I tried to return to work when not well enough and had to be off again (we don't get paid for first three days) to now stay off until I am properly well.

I had a laparoscopy a few years ago and was signed off for a fortnight after. I started to get up and about and walk the dog after a few days (dog is old and gentle so no bouncing or nonsense) and my Head Teacher called me to say she'd heard I was right as rain and was going to see if Occupational Health thought my sick note should be shortened since I was well.

Madness. There's a world of difference between a gentle stroll and actually working. Anyone who can't see that is a bit of a knob.

Ugh I loathe this attitude!! I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue and the massive issue is I can look well when I in fact feel utterly wretched and very weak.

I could be stuck inside seeing neither beast nor man for days, even weeks on end and the ONE day I drag myself out to the corner shop or a short walk around the block you can guarantee someone will appear with 'glad to see you're better' or 'You back at work this week?' Or they see you carrying one bag of shopping 'Feeling stronger?'

It's never: 'How are you feeling now?' Just assumptions. Then when I get back to work I've had some really arsey 'some of us can't afford to take time off' or 'You soldier through don't you?' Or the worst: 'I, my mother/father/sister/cousin twice removed had or has they were off for a couple days/powered through/are at work despite being ill' followed by judgemental tone

is she being paid? If she is, she IS taking the piss, she should take it as a holiday. She won't, but employers are aware of that. Sadly, that is why so many companies are so tight and refuse to understand that workers need time off, because of people abusing the system.

So let her enjoy her stroll to have a coffee whilst the rest is working, but don't complain when full pay is replaced by statutory one in the business.

I think there's a world of difference between getting up for a little walk and commuting to work. I will be having surgery soon and will face the same issue as mentioned above - two weeks to recover but probably not lying in bed for the whole time.

However I have to fess up that I have said that to my kids from time to time when they have pulled a sickie for school (which I was not convinced about) but then think they can go out with their mates in the evening.

If she is well enough to go to the shops then she should go to work. Sometimes you do have to push yourself. If she didn't get sick pay what would she do? I suppose is the trueful question to ask ones self when feeling ill.

I'm recovering from pneumonia. I am at the stage where I am so utterly fed up but need lots of rest and I'm still off work. I'm contemplating going for a very slow walk today.

Chest infections can be very debilitating. There is a big difference between popping to the shops and going to work with a commute. YANBU. Who cares what the office gossips say.

YANBU but people are gossips. She can’t stop them gossiping but it’s their issue, not hers.
There are plenty of people on MN who let you know they go to work on their deathbeds but they’re ridiculous I’m not talking about colds but very contagious conditions like noro and chest infections which can (and have) put people like me in intensive care if I catch it. They’re not heroes, they’re selfish.
I’ve had 3 colleagues insist on coming in to work with the d&v bug that’s doing the rounds. We have sick pay ffs. They all got sent home but usually once they’ve touched everything after a few hours. Literally don’t know why they do this.
A lovely colleague had a very serious illness and she is recovering slowly. She was invited to the work Christmas party and she came for a short while. Nobody thought badly of her. We all desperately wanted her to come. She is completely and utterly unfit for work but she was fine to eat dinner in a restaurant with us. It’s clear she’s poorly.

I hope your sister doesn’t worry and concentrates on her own recovery, not judgey people.

Plenty of people still think this way though. I thought we'd managed to move forwards but alas not.

Lots of people have this attitude - until they are off sick and realise it is bollocks!

I was off sick with depression and when I finally got better I would set myself goals of leaving the house. I saw some v nice exhibitions at art galleries but it was not the same as being well enough for my senior management job.

Equally a friend decided if he had to have several weeks of work recovering from surgery, he might as well do it on a Greek Island. He had a lovely time - still couldn't have done his job though.

Totally reasonable to start going out of the house on that day when you can get out of bed but can't do a full days work.

If she is well enough to go to the shops then she should go to work.

That's ridiculous. There are few jobs equal in physical requirements that are equivalent to a slow walk to the shop supermarket and back.

I taught severely learning disabled and autistic children, many of whom were physical aggressive. It would be laughable to think that I could get through a day at work, because of managed to drag myself to buy some milk.

But yes, that's an awful lot of irrational gossip about people being off work. My favourite was when someone was of stick on a Monday, and someone would hitching day "but I saw her on Friday evening and she was perfectly okay then"

Hitching day? Bitchily say.

Gordon Bennett. I totally messed up that post. Can't strong a sentence together. I must be ill.

I am just not sure the great British public understand recovery and recuperation after illness and/or operations.

For me this meant taking a career break after 3 years of illness and operations just to remove the pressure of having to return to work or at least 'login from home'

My recovery included prescribed daily walks, then progressed to trips on the bus to the centre of town for a mooch around the shops and a coffee (wasn't allowed to drive at first), then walking to town and getting the bus back. At no time during this period was I fit for work as these excursions completely sidelined me for the rest of the day.

If we switch from physical ailments to mental health issues then it is even more important.

Unless I desperately needed a meal or medicine then I wouldn’t be shopping in a supermarket whilst ill and off sick from work. It just spreads the germs around more and fresh air can be obtained without going shopping.

Wasn't Camilla forced to remain behind for the tour of New Zealand and cancel what were effectively meet and greet engagements because of a chest infection? Hardly taxing 'work' is it? But chest infections are no joke. Especially if you are immuno compromised or already have a bronchial problem like Asthma. People regularly end up being hospitalised.

I didn't hear anyone complaining about Camilla's taking time to rest or it is only the poor who should kill themselves trying work whilst still ill?

She's fine to do that. You still need to eat when ill.

I did however raise an eyebrow to an employee at my work who said she was "too sick" to bring in her doctors certificate and yet was seen out shopping in town with various sale bags and then spotted later on in the pub.

That kind of thing is taking the piss.

A lot of people do still think like this sadly. I know of someone who’s been signed off work for a few months following a breakdown, a colleague saw her standing at a bus stop and they’ve been slagging her off and calling her a skiver amongst other thing ever since.

As someone who’s has struggled with my mental health as well, I know the worst thing you can do is stay locked up inside never venturing out! A total lack of understanding, but also unsurprising.

is she being paid? If she is, she IS taking the piss, she should take it as a holiday.

@FairytaleofButlins you don’t seem to understand how sick leave works. If her contract provides for her to receive sick pay, she is 100% entitled to be paid while off sick.

OP, it makes zero difference what her random colleague thinks. The only people whose opinions matter are her boss and HR and they should be well enough trained to understand the law around sick leave.