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Original poster

questioning paternity of baby.. Need advice

82 replies

Penny12355 · 28/12/2019 23:26

So I have definitly posted about this before.. but alot has changed since then, I am no longer with my ex fiance due to physical violence not that long ago. But for some reason now it still lingers in my head especially now that were broke up for some reason.. I would hate to keep him in my life if he wasnt even the dad if that makes sense, but to be completely honest I would rather my ex fiance be the dad because I know hes realy good with children and a good dad even though he was a dick to me and to be honest I dont know the other guy to well and we havent spoke since..

But anyway going back to april me and him broke up for a good while and I was single and stupidly slept with someone on a night out, now before anyone judges I never usually do this! The guy was a guy I was messaging back and forth a bit but I wasnt that interested in him and I got drunk one night and we didnt use any protection or anything.. this was the 25th of may.. (my last period was the 11th of may) I have long cycles of 33/34 days, then the next day i panicked and went and got the Mornin after pill (12 hours later) then on the 1st of june I had a bleed and it lasted for 3 days I had to use pads.. so then on the 9th,14th and 18th of june I done pregnancy tests just to make sure and they all came back negative, and in june I got back with my boyfriend (ex) on the 3rd of june and we had sex everyday in june maybe apart from a few days, it wasnt until the 26th of June I got my first positive and it said 2-3 weeks, I then done another test on the 29th of June and it also said 2-3 weeks, then on the 3rd of July it just changed to 3+.. I then went and got an early scan on the 17th of july and they told me I was 6 weeks.. 6 weeks plus 1 it was measuring at, then another scan on the 5th of august and it was saying 9 weeks aswell so every scan I have got has always went back to my last bleed on the 1st of june.. also my due date has never changed it has always stayed at 7th of march, can anyone give me advice?? I'm like 99.9 percent sure it is my ex fiances and not the guy from 25th of may but I'm just terrified incase she comes soon and she looks fuck all like him or somethin and its panicking me a bit 😂 thank you for reading

OP posts:
Graphista · 28/12/2019 23:30

It's too close to call really actual pregnancy length is roughly 42 weeks as it's calculated from lmp which would fit with your due date.

Only way to know for sure is a dna test.

But imo any man who can be violent to women also isn't to be trusted around children so I disagree it would be necessarily better if ex fiance is father.

Frankly you sound better just going it alone

Original poster
Penny12355 · 28/12/2019 23:34

Thank you @Graphista I have talked to doctor and midwife and they did try and reassure me by saying I would of got a positive on the 18th of june if it was guy from the 25th of may. Oh also forgot to add I went for my very first scan on the 3rd of July and she tried to scan my belly and there was nothing so she done an internal and there was the tiniest sac and she couldnt measure anything so I was told to come back in 2 weeks at that time and when I went on the 17th of july I was told I was 6 weeks.

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 28/12/2019 23:44

On your last thread everyone said the same - it’s clearly your ex fiancé’s baby.

Why you think someone who was violent to you would make a good father?

You don’t seem to be the clearest thinker...

Original poster
Penny12355 · 28/12/2019 23:49

How is it clear? And it's just because I seen he was a good father.. he done anythin for his daughter whose 7, and the other guy I havent spoke to .

OP posts:
user1473878824 · 28/12/2019 23:51

He’s also a violent abuser. Which doesn’t rank high in the “great dad” stakes.

You’d be better off raising your child alone.

Itsigginingtolookalotlikexmas · 28/12/2019 23:54

A clearblue test that says 2-3 weeks means you conceived 2/3 weeks ago so you would be 4 or 5 weeks pg at that point. surely.

Cryingoverspilttea · 28/12/2019 23:54

Get a dna test. They can now do it with a sample of your blood and isolate the baby's dna from it. Same as they do with the NIPT test. Problem solved.

Original poster
Penny12355 · 28/12/2019 23:54

He may be but I know one thing that he would never hurt any child of his, he would rather die, I've known him for years.. yeah obv it wasnt right what he done to me hence why I left him but hes a great dad to his 7 year old

OP posts:
Itsigginingtolookalotlikexmas · 28/12/2019 23:57

I bet his dd doesn't think he would hurt his girlfriend either. Is a dna test a possibility? I can't make your test dates and scan results add up really, even the bleeding you had doesn't fit with the cycle you describe.

Merryoldgoat · 28/12/2019 23:57

Maths...

Embryos and foetuses grow very reliably and dating scans in the first trimester are very accurate.

A foetus measuring 9 weeks on 5th August would’ve been conceived 7 weeks prior - 17th June. We’ll clear of your ONS.

Original poster
Penny12355 · 28/12/2019 23:57

@Itsigginingtolookalotlikexmas what do you mean.. sorry I have serious baby brain and half sleeping haha. I done clearblue on 18th of june it was negative.. done one 26th of june was my first positive then on 29th it said 2 3 weeks aswell, and it changed to 3 weeks on the 3rd of july like literally just changed.. and on the 3rd of July I also had a scan and they had to do an internal and they had to tell me to come back cause it was literally just a sac

OP posts:
Original poster
Penny12355 · 28/12/2019 23:59

@Merryoldgoat thanks I also got told 6 weeks on the 17th of july? X

OP posts:
Inliverpool1 · 29/12/2019 00:00

Ffs there is a reason why SS make women with violent partners leave them to ensure the safety of the children. I wouldn’t be with a man who hit a cat or dog nevermind me because if he thinks it’s in anyway acceptable to raise his hands then we are done

Original poster
Penny12355 · 29/12/2019 00:01

@Itsigginingtolookalotlikexmas yeah that's true actuslly I bet she wouldnt .. hmm i could maybe do a DNA but my ex fiance would go mad.. and the other guy doesnt even know I spoke to him like a week after and that was it

OP posts:
user1473878824 · 29/12/2019 00:02

Oh he’d go mad would he? Because he’s a violent man.

Itsigginingtolookalotlikexmas · 29/12/2019 00:03

So 5 weeks on the third of July - which would fit with the sac on the scan from my experience - which would fit with conceiving as soon as you got back with the now ex.
I think you need to trust the scans more than the tests

Itsigginingtolookalotlikexmas · 29/12/2019 00:05

Did he know you were pg when he hurt you? As I believe a lot of men start to be abusing during pregnancy.

Original poster
Penny12355 · 29/12/2019 00:06

PP I was told I was 6 weeks on the 17th of july so would I not of been even earlier when I got that scan on the 3rd, she had to do an internal and couldnt even measure anything

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 29/12/2019 00:07

Well yes, because 17th July is 3 weeks less than the 5th of August (two days short to be fair) so you’d get dates of three weeks apart.

Are you punking us? I mean, you can just see this on a calendar...

Original poster
Penny12355 · 29/12/2019 00:07

Yeah he did this only happened like 2 weeks ago when I was 28 weeks preg!

OP posts:
Original poster
Penny12355 · 29/12/2019 00:08

@Merryoldgoat no not trying to punk anyone just a bit thick when it comes to maths tbh😂

OP posts:
Itsigginingtolookalotlikexmas · 29/12/2019 00:10

Please stay away from him OP. He doesn't deserve to be in your life, and if he gets wind of your doubts would probably behave even worse.

Original poster
Penny12355 · 29/12/2019 00:12

@Itsigginingtolookalotlikexmas exactly this is why I came on this for advice cause i really dont wanna do a dna

OP posts:
Itsigginingtolookalotlikexmas · 29/12/2019 00:13

There must be a way to do one without asking. If it was tv you would use hair from a brush or something! Not sure about in real life. Or get it from the other guy.

TiddyTid · 29/12/2019 00:15

No dad is better than a twat that will fuck up your child's life forever