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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mil says no tea in living room

186 replies

LetUsHaveACupOfTea · 28/12/2019 21:18

NC incase mil on here. No one is allowed to drink anything but water in mil's living room incase it gets spilled on the rug. To have a cup of tea I need to go downstairs to the kitchen to drink it. The rug isn't mega expensive or anything. I'm not overly clumsy. AIBU to think that's a bit silly? Do you allow your guests to drink tea infront of the telly or might it risk them ruining your rug?

OP posts:
Palaver1 · 28/12/2019 22:39

Well you knew about this before you married into the family.
What about all the rules you have set in place in your home.
It’s her house don’t like it don’t go or don’t have a drink .

WeeDangerousSpike · 28/12/2019 22:39

I think the bigger issue here OP is how are you getting tea in her house when she clearly doesn't want you to have it?

You say that if you have tea you have to sit in the kitchen on your own. So she's presumably not offering everyone tea or you'd all be in the kitchen together.

Are you asking for tea without it being offered?! Shock

Or are you just cracking on and making it yourself without it being offered?! ShockShock

If you're bustling round making yourself tea at the drop of a hat like you own the joint, I'm not surprised she's enforcing natural consequences of you having to be separated from the group while you consume your ill gotten gains! Wink

Icanflyhigh · 28/12/2019 22:40

I've never had carpets before, let alone cream ones! (Always had wood or laminate!)

Yes we have a "carpet replacement contingency" budget!!

YouretheChristmasCarcass · 28/12/2019 22:40

Her house, her rules. I wouldn't do it, but I'm not the one who'd have to clean up the mess or pay for professional cleaning.

I'd buy her a set of naice unbreakable flasks with leakproof lids for her birthday and present them with 'Aren't these nice? You won't need to keep your 'no drinks in the front room rules' with these!". Then grin like a Cheshire cat.

sproutsgalore · 28/12/2019 22:42

Life's too short for all this fannying about with having a carpet so pale you have to teleport across the room rather than dare walk on it.

foooookinghell · 28/12/2019 22:42

Sippy cup?!

Summerandsparkle · 28/12/2019 22:44

Surprised at everyone agreeing with your MiL. Confused

If my mil did this I probably wouldn’t visit. Nothing keeps me from sitting down with a cup of tea on the sofa. Especially at Christmas.

Bet she doesn’t have many visitors if she treats everyone like children.

Branster · 28/12/2019 22:47

She can have any rules she wants in her house but I’d feel very uncomfortable visiting a house like that.
I sincerely hope she’d forgo the rule if the Queen drops by.

Starryskiesinthesky · 28/12/2019 22:49

I always think I get it - but, it doesnt make for a very relaxed way of life. My carpet (cream) is a shambles but I'd rather have wax from candles being blown out / overflowing and red wine stains than having people uncomfortable coming round.

cakeandchampagne · 28/12/2019 22:50

Her house, her rules.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 28/12/2019 22:52

We got a new rug a few months ago (just an Ikea one) and within 12 hours I had chucked a cup of tea over it. I still think your MIL is being unreasonable, though!

7salmonswimming · 28/12/2019 22:52

My DM has a fully furnished (fresh flowers and all) living room and dining room that literally nobody is allowed to use. I imagine she is, but I’ve never seen her in it. So freaking weird.

bettybattenburg · 28/12/2019 22:54

I don't agree but it's her house and her rules

Creepster · 28/12/2019 22:56

The trouble is that if she makes an exception for those who do not spill the sloppy people will feel free to join you.

bettybattenburg · 28/12/2019 22:57

@nohummus My mum has this rule. I just ignore it!

That's downright rude.

saraclara · 28/12/2019 23:00

Of course it's her house her rules. But that's not what the OP asked.

Yes, it's a ridiculous and very inhospitable rule. And I'm astonished that other posters have come across it. I've never ever been to someone's house where I've been banished to the kitchen to drink my tea. And I'm old, so I've probably had twice as many years as most posters, to come across insane house rules.

I'm astonished that so many posters are defending this person. What's life for if you place possessions over hospitality? (And I speak as someone who was very nervous when my nephew had a large glass of Coke placed on the carpet by the side of his chair in my living room the other day!)

BoxOfBabyCheeses · 28/12/2019 23:02

@Winterdaysarehere how the hell did water manage to stain a cream carpet?!

ClinkyMonkey · 28/12/2019 23:07

My MIL goes through phases like that every time she gets anything new. It soon wears off. She got her family room redecorated a few weeks ago and nobody is allowed in, not even said family. We had the no cups of tea in the living room rule when she got her new sofa. Now tea is the least of her worries because her SIL's new dog pisses all over it. And I don't stifle a laugh or anything. No, not I ....

ClinkyMonkey · 28/12/2019 23:08

Not her SIL, just SIL (ie her daughter) ... oops!

Rubyupbeat · 28/12/2019 23:09

Its up to her. My Nan had the same rules, unless it was the Priest visiting.
My kids were never allowed to eat on the setees or in the car, they accepted it,
It's no biggy, just respect for another persons property.

Branster · 28/12/2019 23:10

I can vouch water does stain (even clean) carpets BoxOfBabyCheeses, no idea why but it shows a stain on light coloured carpets (or sofa fabrics) even if you dry it out by hand with kitchen towels. One of those life mysteries!

paranoidmum2 · 28/12/2019 23:11

I agree it's a pain but not much you can do. Maybe only let her have tea in your kitchen when she comes over?

MargotB7 · 28/12/2019 23:16

:Branster

Really cheap carpets only?

Red Wine

I only said this because my friend invited us to a party and as soon as we got there she accidently threw red wine all over her new expensive carpet. Spent most of the night trying to sort it out whilst DH looked fuming. Scared the hell out of me.

Livandme · 28/12/2019 23:23

When my dc were small, I had similar rules, basically cos a couple of guests would leave cups on floor / side and they would more likely get knocked over.
My worries, were mainly cos of the temperature of the drinks, not the mess.

Kids older now and drinks allowed!

Isithometimeyet0987 · 28/12/2019 23:28

I have a good sitting room where no food or drink is allowed (me and dh break this rule while dd is sleeping and we’re relaxing together) this rule was made up about 9 months ago when a friend spilt red wine all over my lovely new white carpet, now if we have people over we keep them in the living room/kitchen/dining area if they have food or drink. I believe if I pay for something I can enjoy it as I see fit but I don’t want someone else ruining it on me and (usually) never offering to pay for what they ruined. I have the money to replace ruined furniture and carpet but why should I have to when I can just keep food and drink out.