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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mil says no tea in living room

186 replies

LetUsHaveACupOfTea · 28/12/2019 21:18

NC incase mil on here. No one is allowed to drink anything but water in mil's living room incase it gets spilled on the rug. To have a cup of tea I need to go downstairs to the kitchen to drink it. The rug isn't mega expensive or anything. I'm not overly clumsy. AIBU to think that's a bit silly? Do you allow your guests to drink tea infront of the telly or might it risk them ruining your rug?

OP posts:
MamaGee09 · 28/12/2019 22:11

Her house, her rules!

A bit too OTT for me but it’s her house so her rules

selmabear · 28/12/2019 22:14

Dont drink tea while you're there? The rule is ridiculous.

Bibby26 · 28/12/2019 22:14

I wish I had your MIL balls tbh.

I have extremely light carpet that your feet leave lovely footprints in because it’s nice and soft in my living room that was bloody expensive and I cringe through watching someone drink a tea or coffee.

If you spill something on her rug and stain it are you going to buy her a new one? Probably not and that’s the same reason I wish I had her balls. Tell people to drink in my lovely cosy dining room with wooden floors, don’t mind any accidents in there!

Icanflyhigh · 28/12/2019 22:14

We moved to a new rented house a few months ago and we have a living room 25ft long with a brand new cream carpet. ConfusedXmas Shock

For the first month DP didnt even enter the lounge in case he dropped anything.

I am really strict about no food in here and shoes are definitely off at the front door, for everyone.

But cups of tea, providing they're not put on the floor is fine - except for the DCs!!!

BackforGood · 28/12/2019 22:14

@Fatted Do you not think that homes are for relaxing in ? Living your life in ? Where you should feel comfortable, rather than on edge ?

So would it be unreasonable to refuse to go often then?

I was going to say - absolutely up to her what rules she has in her house, but, personally, I wouldn't be staying longer than about an hour then, if those rules were in place.

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 28/12/2019 22:16

I think it depends on the size and comfort of her kitchen. If it’s a tiny kitchen with only a breakfast bar, it could be considered unreasonable, but if it has a dining table and comfortable seats then she’s nbu. I really don’t like people eating in the front room as something always gets spilled, but I don’t outright ban it under certain circumstances. But I’ve got a large kitchen, dinner, with a comfortable seating area, so I cam get away with it.

B0bbin · 28/12/2019 22:17

She's being very odd. A living roomis for living in. Clue is in the name. I hate people preserving their rooms like museum exhibitions/ catalogue picture. YANBU

MachineBee · 28/12/2019 22:19

My late MIL was like this and drove everyone mad as she never has this rule when my DH lived at home.

Her kind gift to me was to pee on my car seats every time we picked her up!

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 28/12/2019 22:19

We moved to a new rented house a few months ago and we have a living room 25ft long with a brand new cream carpet.

I’m just picturing myself going head over shite with a goblet of red wine in my hand and it going from one end to the other! 😱

heath48 · 28/12/2019 22:20

Her house ,her rules,ridiculous,I wouldn’t visit.

pointythings · 28/12/2019 22:21

I'd be bringing in a baby bottle and passive-aggressively drinking my tea out of that.

Mumdiva99 · 28/12/2019 22:22

I'm with her. No tea or coffee or squash in the living room or upstairs. We have a perfectly good kitchen to eat and drink in. A dining room to entertain in.

Of course when kids are in bed I can sit and eat messy chocolate and drink my drinks in the living room!!

MargotB7 · 28/12/2019 22:23

Bibby26

Your carpet sounds gorgeous. I suppose when I'm buying things for my house I go looks nice & practical. We do have Grandchild & dogs.

alexdgr8 · 28/12/2019 22:24

could you gather for general tea and chat in kitchen.
I don't think her rule is ridiculous. where do you eat in her house, that is where you should drink tea etc.
maybe she has to limit her welcomingness due to previous experience of surroundings being damaged, not by you but its a general rule, and getting older, tireder, decided to put her foot down.
good luck to her I say.

holidaylettie · 28/12/2019 22:24

is it a rug or the carpet? I'm confused.

Ispini · 28/12/2019 22:25

Tell her not to drink tea in your living room, the penny might just drop...😜

Sparklybaublefest · 28/12/2019 22:27

why does it matter?
she is worried about her carpet and furniture.
why care?

1Morewineplease · 28/12/2019 22:28

Bonkers. Homes are to live in , not to be shown around.
There are stain removers galore.
Would hate to live in a box where nothing is allowed in case of ... anything.

Penguin34 · 28/12/2019 22:29

I think if someone said no shoes in the living room you wouldn't bat an eyelid.
You could have perfectly clean shoes tho, just as you may never spill your tea (I do always spill everything)

Nonnymum · 28/12/2019 22:30

It sounds like a house that would be impossible to relax in. I'm not sure I'd want to visit often

MargotB7 · 28/12/2019 22:32

How many people can't drink a cup of tea without tripping up and chucking it all over. I would understand banning people drinking red wine.

Thinking about though if she hasn't got much money then I can kind of get it. Expensive carpets and sofas are usually quite stain resistant. I bought a cheap carpet once and it didn't last very long.

TheFestiveIf · 28/12/2019 22:35

I had a lovely, comfortable very deep pile rug that I absolutely loved. The rule has been no eating or drinking over it as it is not easy to clean. Two days ago, in the name of hospitality towards a family member who was well aware of how fond I was of this rug, I relaxed this rule. I should have realised that they are careless with their own things and therefore would not have a clue how to be careful with mine.

My lovely, comfortable very deep pile rug got covered in cracker crumbs, cheese crumbs, spilled drinks and finally, vomit.

I no longer have a lovely deep pile rug that I was very comfortable on and fond of. I am currently on tenterhooks as to whether it can be replaced and whether family member will actually pay for it.

Totally with the MIL here.

Icanflyhigh · 28/12/2019 22:36

@TotallyFuckedUpFamily I am waiting for the day I do this!
I am a red wine drinker and I know it's going to happen!!😂😂

justasking111 · 28/12/2019 22:37

Goodness I make a rule about no food drink in kids bedrooms, the results are gross and mouldy. But the living room no, am more relaxed. GS spilt a ribena on the carpet today but a quick clean up and good old Beckmans cleaner seems to have sorted it out. I do not have cream carpets though, if I did I might be stricter.

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 28/12/2019 22:38

I am a red wine drinker and I know it's going to happen!!

I’m nervous for you. You’d better start saving for a replacement carpet now. 🤣