Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mil says no tea in living room

186 replies

LetUsHaveACupOfTea · 28/12/2019 21:18

NC incase mil on here. No one is allowed to drink anything but water in mil's living room incase it gets spilled on the rug. To have a cup of tea I need to go downstairs to the kitchen to drink it. The rug isn't mega expensive or anything. I'm not overly clumsy. AIBU to think that's a bit silly? Do you allow your guests to drink tea infront of the telly or might it risk them ruining your rug?

OP posts:
rhubarbarkle · 28/12/2019 21:40

YANBU but as @PickwickThePlockingDodo just said, I did know a neighbour who kept her whole front room sofas covered in plastic. I always wondered what 'degree' of guest the plastic was taken off for (her kids told me years later, it never came off). I think it is an OCD thing and not adhering to it will cause more upset than just drinking the tea elsewhere.

Youseethethingis · 28/12/2019 21:41

What’s a living room for if not to host tea drinking...? Confused

Santasy · 28/12/2019 21:45

That is how it is in my parents house. I think it's fine.The kitchen is for eating in.

I think I would happily have those rules here but DH wants to live on the sofa and never move so it wouldn't work.

Leaannb · 28/12/2019 21:46

No you aren't especiaally when you have been toldnlt to drink in her living room. I dont care if you have never had an accident. Doesn't mean it won't. There is also no food or drink allowed anywhere in my home other than the kitchen or dining room. No food or drink anywhere in my house but those 2 rooms

raspberrymolakoff · 28/12/2019 21:46

This reminds me of DD's MIL who announced no one would not be using the downstairs loo over Christmas so she didn't have to clean it.

raspberrymolakoff · 28/12/2019 21:46

No one was to use it I mean

VenusTiger · 28/12/2019 21:47

I bet she eats her dinner on her knee in there when alone. Does she live alone? It's about control, it's her house and her rules etc.
Take a flask.

TheBigMansWife · 28/12/2019 21:48

im sorry but i have to side with your mother in law its her house shes just keeping it how she likes it.. mabey invite her to your house for tea or get her to pull the photo albums out and yous both sit in her kitchen with a cuppa together.

PhilomenaChristmasPie · 28/12/2019 21:48

Yes, unfortunately, her house her rules. DM had a Persian rug in the living room and none of us were allowed to take food up there.

MitziK · 28/12/2019 21:50

From experience, as soon as you relax a little and think 'Oh, it'll be fine, it's never happened before', that's the point at which cats decide to catch their first mouse, cups and glasses fall out of hands, children suddenly fail to reach the toilet to throw up and paint pots completely upend. and I fall asleep on the brand new cream couch in new trousers and permanently stain the seating I now have a knackered coffee table, scratched countertops, a scratched sink, gloss paint splatters on the furniture and carpet and countless broken dreams of having somewhere nice things that somebody decided nothing could possibly happen to damage them so wouldn't take the precautions I'd originally asked for.

And unless the rug was £9.99, it's not a cheap one for most people.

It's about respecting the other person's time and effort (in the case of earnings - I see the freezer cost me 72 hours in a job I hated - only to have the handle cracked from not taking care when going past it with a toolbox) or savings/income.

Jumpjumpjumper · 28/12/2019 21:52

People who don't allow food or drink in any room except kitchen or dining room.... What if you're watching a film and fancy a cuppa or glass of wine?

IncrediblySadToo · 28/12/2019 21:52

Bloody hell, a curry I could understand (just about) or a child with Ribenna, but an adult with a cup of tea. She’s cracked.

I’m very careful with stuff, but I also like to live in my house and for guests to feel comfortable.

RudolphIsMySpiritAnimal · 28/12/2019 21:53

My SIL is the same. No drinking anything in her house except in the kitchen.

We've just stopped visiting tbh.

Groovinpeanut · 28/12/2019 21:54

You'll have to turn up with a cup with a lid on.
Wink

Original poster
LetUsHaveACupOfTea · 28/12/2019 22:01

So would it be unreasonable to refuse to go often then?

OP posts:
Deminism · 28/12/2019 22:01

I think I would enjoy the opportunity to hide in the kitchen and look at my phone if I didn't get on with her.

MargotB7 · 28/12/2019 22:02

Is she Mrs Bouquet (Bucket)? Though I think she even let her guests nervously drink tea in her living room.

Yes her house her rules but I bet she doesn't get many visitors just a lot of people laughing behind her back.

DecemberSnow · 28/12/2019 22:04

Noone is allowed to eat or drink in my parent in laws front room either....

Hay ho !

Bluerussian · 28/12/2019 22:05

It does seem inhospitable, LetusHave, and not something I understand because spills on carpets are a part of life, a steam clean gets most stains out. However there's nothing you can do about it, it's not your house. I wouldn't refuse to go 'often' because of that, it won't hurt you to eat and drink in the kitchen on visits, you can do what you like at home.

NobJobWinker · 28/12/2019 22:05

YANBU to limit visits OP

Life without tea is life without joy!

NoHummus · 28/12/2019 22:06

My mum has this rule. I just ignore it!

AgeLikeWine · 28/12/2019 22:07

However silly or unreasonable you think she is being, it’s her house and her rules. To refuse to comply would be rude, ill-mannered and disrespectful.

thenightsky · 28/12/2019 22:07

Don't even think about having a shit in her loo OP Grin

Welltroddenpath · 28/12/2019 22:08

It is her house her rules, but....

Dh uncle has a massive house. One room you can’t drink in, the kids can’t sit on the sofa unless they don’t fidget. They have a more relaxed living room but never sit in that one when we visit. Uncle and aunt have got increasingly uptight about the show living room so we stopped visiting about five years ago as it was making my dh so uncomfortable. Dh thinks that was the plan and he was no longer welcome in their house.

So it isn’t conducive to relaxing. Just sit in the kitchen and have some screen time I guess?

SageRosemary · 28/12/2019 22:09

I'd be with @Deminism on this, LOL.

I've banned my own DC from having anything other than water in our living room and from having any food or drink in our front sitting room. Following some unfortunate experiences. Adult guests can be trusted.

Her house, respect her rules, maybe ask if you can use a travel mug with a covered top in place?