To put a block on my DDs phone

[FloatingMonkeys]

DD is 15. I pay for her phone and as such I have an app which allows me to block her phone for scheduled periods. I block it from 10pm to 7am and she has a maximum of 3 hours screen time per day. I do this because otherwise she would be on it 24/7. AIBU?

ClaireDendie

I couldn’t give a shit whether you or anyone else on here ‘takes me seriously’. I know what I think.

Op- ahhh ok I didn't realise That was the case that's fine then.

Church i too remember your sleepover phone ban. And I disagreed with you then and I disagree with you now. I don't think being stranded is the right punishment for not being able to self regulate phone use

Three hours is tight. For me that's a couple of podcasts.

GoGoLego

That’s alright, I don’t need the whole world to agree with me.

My daughters much younger (11) so a bit different. But I have unlimited use of messages / WhatsApp / FaceTime / calls etc but I restrict the ability to eg watch Netflix and stare at TikTok for
Hours. I also have downtime so she can't use it during the night.

Spending more than three hours a day on social media/games/the internet in general seems like such a waste of time . During the week, on a school day, that doesn't leave much time for anything else.

You sound like a great parent- just about right to me.

These things are addictive and Apple executives don’t even give their own children this stuff. They know it’s potential to distract. They made it that way.

Limits are a great idea. Keep on as you are.

DD does her homework on her phone, so I would probably restrict to 6 hours a day on maths days, 4 on the rest (her maths teacher expects her to write down her workings as well as doing the tasks online).

She does art on her tablet though, so I'd find it difficult to restrict that.

@churchandstate I totally disagree, it is not the default setting at all. I explained that the kids do everything else first and then they are free to choose what they do. That may or may not be using their phone. I merely stated that I still 'parent' them if the need occurs and may remind them if they happen to be on their phones in the evening that it may be a good idea to have an early night. They could be reading or doing music practice and I would do the same. I regularly have to remind DS1 that he maybe ought to put his guitar away and chill out when it gets late.

I did not realise that was you on the sleepover thread, I am not even sure why I am responding to your post, especially as you have chosen to pick out a part f my post completely out of context and also that I now know your views couldn't be further from mine or anyone else I know in RL.

What else do other teens actually do, especially at Xmas? Mine (14) aims to watch videos most of the day, or game. Won’t do ‘activities’, read books, or go out with us, friends not up for meeting, it’s exhausting.

I did not realise that was you on the sleepover thread, I am not even sure why I am responding to your post, especially as you have chosen to pick out a part f my post completely out of context and also that I now know your views couldn't be further from mine or anyone else I know in RL.

Then don’t. I’m not forcing you to reply.

@Aramox this is what I'm trying to avoid. She doesn't do sport or dance so beyond walking the dog (when she has her phone with her for safety) and baking (when she uses it / the iPad for recipes)) so she'd be on it on bloody TikTok the entire time.

.. and that is TOTALLY normal. We may not like it, but smart phone technology is here to stay. Times move on and older generations have always struggled with change that they assume will 'damage their children' .

My parents thought the TV was the devil personified. They were horrified of the time fast coming where families sat round every night staring at a screen... not talking with each other, not reading, not doing 'something' more improving... so they had one that was only allowed to be on for Blue Peter and the news.
I "played Tennis / went to guides /studied with friends" , everyday.... only I didn't , I Just went round to friends to watch TV with best friends family who weren't controlling arses.

No, this unbridled unfettered 'staring at a screen' (friend had TV in their bedrooms ! ) did nothing to impede my life except confirm that my father was a controlling fuckwit and my mother his enabler.

He is long dead , and my opinion has never changed.

I’m sorry to say my experience is that limiting screens does not necessarily encourage Wholesome Other Activities, rather can lead to sulks and resentment. I’m still doing it though.

*rkpatty

.. and that is TOTALLY normal. We may not like it, but smart phone technology is here to stay. Times move on and older generations have always struggled with change that they assume will 'damage their children' .*

Normal doesn't mean that it's right though. If lots of people start doing something that is damaging and it then becomes "normal" does that mean we should accept it and just let them get on with it?

Completely missing point but- what's the ap? I need that!

*for me!

Screentime is part of ios on iphones. Android has various options too.

YANBU but it's bloody hard to enforce these boundaries with teenagers.

I've found that explaining why repeatedly helps - it's not to spoil your fun, it's to protect you, phones are very addictive, spending time on your phone means that you're not doing other things etc.

Also, negotiation. She is allowed more than an hour at weekends usually and if she goes round a friend's I let her have more time as all of her friends seem to have no restrictions at all.

Have relaxed over the holidays, but will be back on schedule come 6th January.

agree with you. stay strong.

The app is called Our Pact.

I lock my kids' phones at nighttime, for sure. Three hours screen time sounds very restrictive if it includes homework. I do block apps I don't want them to use - mostly some of the SM apps.

She doesn't use it for homework. She has a laptop for that and / or family iPad.