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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Anyone else sick of their DH?

140 replies

Iwasneveragoddess · 27/12/2019 15:35

Or is it just me?

He’s behaved like such a knob over Christmas seriously considered leaving him.

Sad
OP posts:
madcatladyforever · 27/12/2019 18:35

If any partner of mine blocked my DS they would be dumped forthwith. Doesn't sound like he gives a shit about them and that would be a deal breaker for me.

GreenTulips · 27/12/2019 18:35

Not even the vast majority are dicks

Where do you live? Because all my friends complain about theirs!!

PickledLilly · 27/12/2019 18:38

Absolutely sick of mine, it’s bad enough the rest of the year but actually spending time together over Christmas really shows up what a dick he is.

WaterOffADucksCrack · 27/12/2019 18:38

Oh so people who are happy with their partners haven't to reply then? I don't think anyone has said that. But I do think you've missed the tone of the thread. Like if you posted "anyone else with one arm? (Like me)" and created a thread about the struggles and frustration of it, you'd think posters coming on to say "nope I have 2 fully functioning arms. They're perfect" were being dicks for the sake of it.

Choice4567 · 27/12/2019 18:41

WineWineThanksThanks

Okbutno · 27/12/2019 18:44

@Iwasneveragoddess what medication is he on? As I'd it's an antidepressant it's probably not going to make a difference if he ups the dose for a few days. He sounds like a twat. Knowing he's going for your adult dc because it hurts you is just awful behaviour. What would you want to be with someone who intentionally hurts you? You deserve better.

Original poster
Iwasneveragoddess · 27/12/2019 18:45

Yes mine is away all week/month has to think about no one other than himself.

Told him if you expect me to choose I will choose my children every fucking time.

OP posts:
Straycatstrut · 27/12/2019 18:58

I keep reading,that more people than ever,go to Relate,or phone the Samaritans after Christmas,and into January.. Too much stress and strife everywhere !!

I'm not surprised at all. There's WAY too much pressure to make it a "perfect day" with expectations off the chart, it's just gotten so daft. Really tough as a single parent when you're expected to make all the "magic" happen and the kids show no thanks and kick off in return. Really hard in a couple when your STBH/P is driving you up the wall on top of it.

If I could go abroad each year to somewhere where it isn't celebrated I'd go. But I have little people so I cannot.

Nat6999 · 27/12/2019 19:01

I was fed up with mine 3 months after getting married, knew it was the biggest mistake I had ever made, knew I didn't really love him. It took me nearly 8 years to pluck up courage to leave him, I've never regretted it once.

pelirocco123 · 27/12/2019 19:01

Not even the vast majority are dicks

Where do you live? Because all my friends complain about theirs!!
Just because your friends complain , it doesnt make it true. The chances are your friends partners think your friends are dicks

letsdolunch321 · 27/12/2019 19:02

Adding my dp to the exclusive club MN.

I grumble about him (going through the menopause doesn't help my grumbling) but he is a loving, great man who treats me very well and treats my kids as he treats his own.

Would be lovely if his own kids appreciated him as much as they should do.

namechangetheworld · 27/12/2019 19:08

I feel for you OP. Mine is a useless shit. He spent the whole of Christmas and Boxing Day sitting on his arse watching TV at my parents house while I ran around juggling a 4 YO and poorly baby. I sat down for 10 minutes in the evening to look at new washing machines (as ours conked out on Christmas Eve and he hasn't bothered looking) and he kept making snide remarks about me sitting on my arse. I hate his guts. Can't wait until the children are older and I can afford to get away from him.

sophiestew · 27/12/2019 19:17

Yours sounds pretty pathetic OP. Xmas Sad

Scrumptiousbears · 27/12/2019 19:17

Mine behaved terribly yesterday and apparently it was all my fault. We are being "pleasant" to each other today. Angry

ProfessionalBoss · 27/12/2019 19:21

@WaterOffADucksCrack But I do think you've missed the tone of the thread.

Nope... Didn't miss the tone of the thread, whilst empathising with the original poster, I have said that although my husband isn't perfect, neither am I, and our marriage is pretty perfect

I'm not in the same position as her, and if I had children from a previous marriage and my current husband was treating them the way he has hers, it would 100% be a deal breaker! She's expected to be Mary frigging Poppins around his children? NOPE!!! But again, without all the facts regarding her relationship throughout the year etc, it would be really judgemental of me to tell her that she should leave because I would.

My marriage has its ups and downs like any marriage, my husband spent all day yesterday in our home office leaving me on my own all day, which would be a deal breaker for some people... I occasionally get frustrated if I had planned something without checking what football games were on, and he won't go because its "an important game" Hmm but it's his "thing", and I knew that before marrying him...

managedmis · 27/12/2019 19:22

Yeah, same here. Constantly thinking dreaming of divorce.

AgentCooper · 27/12/2019 19:23

Mine has been a nightmare. Gets stressed out by mess and noise so 2 year old DS is really getting to him and he’s not hiding it well.

I felt so angry today. I’ve given up chances for a hot bath alone, to see a friend for coffee and other things because he’s not been able to hack DS on his own and he could at least try to be nice. He’s now making a list of all DS’s ‘problematic’ behaviours and wants to get the HV out. Any time I say that anything DS does is within normal for his age he huffs at me for being dismissive. Can’t be fucked.

managedmis · 27/12/2019 19:25

I'd give my right arm for a bloke who could shag me properly.

Original poster
Iwasneveragoddess · 27/12/2019 19:25

I have told him he unblocks my children or it’s a dealbreaker and he accepts DDs apology.

Which he has done.

I am not sure if it’s enough tbh.

OP posts:
Original poster
Iwasneveragoddess · 27/12/2019 19:26

There is no problem with the shagging, that was the problem with DH1.

OP posts:
ProfessionalBoss · 27/12/2019 19:34

@Iwasneveragoddess blocking your children is absolutely not acceptable...

GoodbyeRosie · 27/12/2019 19:37

Man here..

Feel the same about my female partner so it's not just men.

Christmas is a real chance to see how selfish, arrogant, lazy and demeaning your other half can be.

Too many people, like me, feel trapped financially though. We couldn't make two homes out of our one property, I would havd to suddenly find an extra £600 pcm to rent somewhere. Then there's the kids..

A hell of a lot of dead relationships out there , you are not on your own.

cultmaskid · 27/12/2019 19:39

I love mine but he's annoying me now.
He's been grumpy all day. We are all a bit sick. I didn't get a second to rest and I've just bathed both children read them a book and put them to bed
I also told him I am going to bed for some silence and no tv noise as the kids have kept me up the last three nights
He didn't help today and I am irritated
Hopefully he gets the message it means to leave me alone and not come turn the telly on/ talk to me about work and make me anxious / watch loud videos on his phone when I try to sleep

cultmaskid · 27/12/2019 19:40

Oh he sounds like hard work today
How childish to block the kids on his phone

Pilot12 · 27/12/2019 19:51

Yes - mine thinks that because he worked hard all year to pay for Christmas (I'm a SAHM) this gives him the green light to have a nice lie in everyday until lunch time then sit on the sofa drinking beer and watching Top Gear repeats whilst I look after a toddler and a baby, keep the house clean and tidy for visitors, do all the cooking, cleaning up after, laundry, ironing (I don't do his) etc. I feel like an unpaid member of staff. It seems it's not the Christmas holidays for me!