Surprise Trip to Center Parcs

[bumum]

Hi All,
So 2019 has been a bit of a rough year for me and my family. I was forced to stop working due to depression and anxiety issues about a year ago, and my poor hubby has been holding the fort on his salary alone. Slowly but surely we have crept into the red and are now a couple of thousand pounds in debt as his salary simply does not cover the basics. We are discussing the prospect of putting our house on the market as our mortgage is just a tad more than we can stretch to at the moment, in the hope of reducing our outgoings by going back to rental.
My family (parents and brother) are aware of our financial difficulties. We have cut back dramatically on our spending including not having a holiday over the past 18 months. My parents and brother are all financially very comfortable and I think they are a bit perplexed by our situation - they simply can't relate to it. Anyway, for Christmas they gave me a surprise gift which is 3 nights away at Center Parcs for us and our two boys. They hoped that a change of scene would help lift my mood and that the boys would enjoy the activities available. Well today, I've actually gone on the website to see what it is all about and have been really shocked to find out how expensive all the activities are! Nothing but the pool is included in what my family have booked for us. We simply can't afford to spend money on any of the activities apart from some bowls and maybe a bit of pottery painting. My 9 year old has already expressed an interest in doing archery or aerial assault courses but they cost £30 a person!! I'm now really panicking that this is going to be a horrific stay for us. We can't afford the activities or to eat out so it will just be a weekend of saying "no sorry" to the kids and the entire weekend at the pool, before we go back to our lodge to self cater. I'm also now wondering why on earth my family would have booked this for us, knowing how financially tight and careful we have had to be since I have stopped work. I'm feeling really upset about it now. I know this has come from a kind place, but I just feel like it's a bit thoughtless and callous of them. They would have no problem paying for countless activities for themselves if they went to such a place. I'm considering asking my mum if there is any way she can cancel the trip - I don't want them to lose out on a deposit, but also it would be pretty pointless paying for it all if we get no enjoyment from it. Am I being unreasonable? Is centre parcs actually totally fine if you don't do any additional activities? Will my boys even notice that they are missing out? Or will it be really great and I'm just making a mountain out of nothing? Any insight or advice into this would be really helpful.

Don’t ask for the kids activities as your birthday present. Your birthday is for you, and should be kept separate and just for you, or you run the risk of martyring yourself which does your mental health no good in the long run. Practice saying no to the kids now; don’t leave it till February, make it your New Years resolution.

It does children no harm at all to learn that just because they can have one thing (the weekend away) doesn’t mean they then need extra things to go with it (the activities). In fact, I think it’s a modern attitude that needs knocking on the head quite young that you always need more stuff to go with what you’ve already got. When we were kids, we got something and played with it; kids now get something and start looking what they need to make it “better” (mine included so I’m not being sanctimonious).

You then need to get a grip on your budget. Being in debt won’t help your anxiety and depression either. Do anything you can to avoid selling the house. Speak to the mortgage company. Are you claiming ESA? As you were working, you can claim on the basis of your NI contributions and you can at least apply for PIP too.

Have you seen a doctor and are you getting treatment? Medication doesn’t necessarily solve anything but it makes it easier to deal with day to day practicalities. For me, meds slowed my mind from racing enough for me to at least get home admin done.

You need to look at rental prices in your area. You are highly unlikely to be paying less than a mortgage. Selling may release capital but this will quickly dwindle if you are not intending to go back to work. You should aim towards this bit by bit, as unless something radical happens you clearly cannot get by on one salary alone.

As an example, the rent for my house would be double what we pay for our mortgage, and our mortgage isn’t small.

It’s also a very insecure way to live, which is unlikely to help your mental health issues. Hang on to your house.

This thread has some lovely replies on it.

OP I've never been to CP, so can't help with tips. However, I have taken a look at the website a few time, and never booked for similar reasons to those you were concerned about.
After reading this, I'll definitely be taking another peek at booking there.

Glad you feel more positive about it all now OP. I hope you and your family have a wonderful trip.

Echo everyone else on going to CP.

Echo everyone else also on selling your house. Please please don't. Right now the mortgage might be expensive but you are building equity. rent is just paying off your Landlord's mortgage. (I am saying this as both a LL and as a professional).

Talk to your mortgage adviser and see what can be done. There may be options available you have not considered.,

An very best of luck.

Don't book pottery painting BTW! The reason that it is cheap to book is because it's really expensive on the door to pay for the pots you've chosen. DH, DS and I usually shell out another £50 at the end.

If your mum will buy an activity for the boys for your birthday I'd go for the indoor climbing. It's fun and can't be rained off.

You will have a great time- it's totally worth going for the pool alone.

My top tip in the winter is to go to the pool after dark. The outdoor bit is lit up and steamy- it's really magical!

In terms of eating out OP the restaurants are horrendous. They are just more expensive, more rammed full of toddlers versions of what you find on the average high street.

We always take our own food as it's a far more relaxing experience and going to the restaurants just wastes money even if you have it (in my opinion).

3 nights can easily be killed with swimming pool/ playgrounds etc. Take a flask as you may get cold hanging around. Just enjoy it and tell DS to ask his gps for a trip to go ape for his birthday present.

You are being ridiculous. Just don't do the activities and enjoy the break. You can walk, cycle and swim etc. Stop moaning, it's a lovely gift.

As others have said you really don’t need to do activities.

The pool has lots, toddler area, wave pool, slides, rapids, outdoor pool. It does get very busy midday so it’s best to go early morning, home for lunch and then again after about 2:30pm.

The lodges do have basic kitchens, I would however take your own washing up liquid/dishwasher tabs (if it had a dishwasher, some don’t), knives, chopping board etc as every time we have been the kitchen equipment has been very poor quality and unclean.

There is a convenience store on site but it’s very expensive, so take all of your food etc with you.

Each lodge has an open fire, perfect for marshmallows if it’s a bit too chilly to toast them outside.

You often get squirrels etc at the patio doors, you could always be a bit naughty and tempt them to the window with some treats.

There are childrens playgrounds dotted around, some sites have a free wildlife area where there are bird hides, camera viewing a badger set etc.

My parents and brother are all financially very comfortable and I think they are a bit perplexed by our situation - they simply can't relate to it

Have you asked them for help? If you were my sister/ daughter I would help without question re you keeping your house. Then less stress may enable you to get back to work.

Most of the activities book up
In advance for the times you would want to them so if the kids do want to do them when the get there you'll have the perfect excuse as to why they can't and it's nothing to do with money.

Please get some financial advice before you sell your house. Not only will the process cost you a few thousand, but rental prices are quite often higher than mortgages, and with the uncertainty over the property market post Brexit, I wouldn't be taking myself off the property ladder right now. Can you get a better mortgage deal? Why is your mortgage more expensive than renting? I rent out a property and the rent is much more than the mortgage I pay on it, and that's with a higher interest BTL loan and a rent that's under market value.

The pottery painting isn’t cheap! We paid over £100 for one item each for 4 of us.

£30 each for the boys to do an activity would be more cost effective.

@bumum not sure if someone else has mentioned it but pottery painting is £5.00+ to book but when you get there you have to then also buy the piece of pottery you are going to paint which is around £15/£20 per person.

YABU, sorry. Just go and have a nice time. You'd have been paying for food anyway at home, and you can make good use of the pool. A change of scene will do you all good.

We have been to CP over the years. Going back in Jan.

We spend the majority of time at the swimming pool, self cater (tea in slow cooker in the morning) take bikes and scooters.
Theres also parks and free indoor soft play and disco for wee ones.

Take some logs for the fire or BBQ coals and roast marshmallows and take plenty of board games and have a games night.

If your Mum is willing to book an activity each for them, take her up on the offer. One each is plenty!

You will have a fab time, enjoy!

And I definitely wouldn't ask your family for more money, even if it is for a present or a loan.

Agree with everyone else re. House and mortgages - go see an independent broker, see what they can do. Do not sell up!

Centre parcs is great - the whole point is the pool! You can easily spend the whole day in there. Make sure you take a book, head up to the upper levels where there tend to be quieter seating areas, set yourselves up for the day. Let your DH take the kids off round the rapids so you get a bit of time to relax on your own.

Don't bother with the activities. Take board games to play in the lodge and DVDs for the evenings. Walk in the woods, build a den. Drink hot chocolate in the lodge to warm up. Go for a swim in the dark!

Have fun op.

Seriously you get three days as a family in a beautiful holiday place. Of course you can have a lovely time without the extra stuff. You can use the pool, play games, go for walks, take the bikes.
Your attitude to a holiday present is a bit
Wouldn’t it be nice to spend some time with the kids in a nice place? And how would they feel if you don’t go.

Which centre parks are you going to?

Amazing gift I bet you will struggle to get the kids out of the pool. Enjoy.

Just on to say we went to CP a few times when the boys were young. They never did any activities because they were always fully booked. We all loved the freedom and they went out for hours on their bikes. The pool was amazing.
And definitely do not sell without taking specialist advice and speak to CAB about PIP and Step Change about money management. Good luck !

If you are doing woburn or longest then the safari parks nearby are good and if you have tesco points you can use them to get tickets (or ask your family if they have any spare ones)

Centre parcs can be as cheap or as expensive as you make it. When we go we only ever do 1 or 2 of the cheaper activities otherwise we use the free facilities.

Also (not sure about all) but there are little beaches so you can take buckets and spades. Also take some board games etc for the lodge and enjoy family time.

What a lovely thing for your family to do for you.
You don’t need to spend lots of money at CP. We make full use of the pool and self cater when we go. Enjoy

Maybe put a few items on eBay & see if you can make enough money for 1 activity that your children would like.

My children have asked me not to book activities if we go back to CP because it interrupts their time in the pool. With a short break the pool is definitely enough.

Would you take to an advisor in Citizens Advise or a debt charity like StepChange before you do anything with your house.