Surprise Trip to Center Parcs

[bumum]

Hi All,
So 2019 has been a bit of a rough year for me and my family. I was forced to stop working due to depression and anxiety issues about a year ago, and my poor hubby has been holding the fort on his salary alone. Slowly but surely we have crept into the red and are now a couple of thousand pounds in debt as his salary simply does not cover the basics. We are discussing the prospect of putting our house on the market as our mortgage is just a tad more than we can stretch to at the moment, in the hope of reducing our outgoings by going back to rental.
My family (parents and brother) are aware of our financial difficulties. We have cut back dramatically on our spending including not having a holiday over the past 18 months. My parents and brother are all financially very comfortable and I think they are a bit perplexed by our situation - they simply can't relate to it. Anyway, for Christmas they gave me a surprise gift which is 3 nights away at Center Parcs for us and our two boys. They hoped that a change of scene would help lift my mood and that the boys would enjoy the activities available. Well today, I've actually gone on the website to see what it is all about and have been really shocked to find out how expensive all the activities are! Nothing but the pool is included in what my family have booked for us. We simply can't afford to spend money on any of the activities apart from some bowls and maybe a bit of pottery painting. My 9 year old has already expressed an interest in doing archery or aerial assault courses but they cost £30 a person!! I'm now really panicking that this is going to be a horrific stay for us. We can't afford the activities or to eat out so it will just be a weekend of saying "no sorry" to the kids and the entire weekend at the pool, before we go back to our lodge to self cater. I'm also now wondering why on earth my family would have booked this for us, knowing how financially tight and careful we have had to be since I have stopped work. I'm feeling really upset about it now. I know this has come from a kind place, but I just feel like it's a bit thoughtless and callous of them. They would have no problem paying for countless activities for themselves if they went to such a place. I'm considering asking my mum if there is any way she can cancel the trip - I don't want them to lose out on a deposit, but also it would be pretty pointless paying for it all if we get no enjoyment from it. Am I being unreasonable? Is centre parcs actually totally fine if you don't do any additional activities? Will my boys even notice that they are missing out? Or will it be really great and I'm just making a mountain out of nothing? Any insight or advice into this would be really helpful.

OP, I mean this kindly but why can you not start part time work to help your family get out of the red?

I honestly think Center Parcs is a red herring and you need to look at the bigger picture here. Surely your anxiety/depression must be getting worse if your family is sinking further and further into debt?

@ delineateddelinquent the op is not well enough to work, she has already explained that.

Just want to say I holidayed at CP every year for about 16 years as a kid until adult and have been several times as an adult too. We NEVER did any of the more expensive activities and it was all about the pool and the outdoors cycling for us. Stick bikes on the car or even hire them quite reasonably when you get there. It will honestly be awesome. We used to go until the pool closed then parents would have a couple of beers in the plaza whilst we ran around. Honestly OP, this is an amazing gift. Relax and enjoy it.

Ps. The kitchens and villas are fully stocked with everything you need. You just need to take food/toiletries and things to do. There is a shop on site but it can be a little more expensive than taking your own. Think self catering plus lovely scenery. It's a great time to teach your 4 year old to ride his bike. There are very few cars around and the roads/paths are all flat.

Very strange of you to call your family callous for booking this lovely little holiday. Perhaps a reflection of your mental health issues warping your thinking.

I know your post is predominantly about Center Parcs (which will be fine), however I just wanted to advise against selling your home to rent. This would put your family at a significant disadvantage to the position you're currently in. Please consider all options prior to settling on this one

Please don't ruin this for your kids. It was a great gift and I seriously do not understand why you are being so negative. They will have a blast going to the pool and can just chill back at the cabin and play games or ride bikes. This is a great gift for the kids and you should be excited for them. We don't have money issues and I still wouldn't pay for any extra activities when we went bc it's just not necessary.

@CountryF I seriously do not understand why you are being so negative

OP has anxiety and depression and is in financial difficulty. Now I'm no genius but...

We usually find ourselves so busy and exhausted from walks, the parks and swimming that we end up cancelling activities we book. It's a short time with young children but it goes so quickly. You can have a great time on a shoestring, just be sure to take seeds to feed the wildlife as they'll rob you blind for a packet of peanuts in the Parc market.

The break sounds like it'll be great for your family. If you can afford to travel there and to take food with you then I would say you'd be unreasonable not to go.

Three days isn't really enough to do loads of activities. The pool is huge, there's easily enough to keep your dc entertained for a few days. Plus parks and you could take your bikes and go on a cycling trail.

We always do a holiday food shop to take with us because the centre parcs supermarket it really expensive and a lot of the restaurants are a bit crap anyway.

Relax a little, it's a lovely gift.

We have been a few times and didn’t do activities. The pool is amazing and you can spend most of the day there easily! You could do breakfast in the lodge then half a day at the pool, back to the lodge for some lunch then a nice walk/adventure playgrounds in the afternoon then back to the lodge for dvds/board games and some tea etc. And the pool is open in the evening too and it’s a lovely/different atmosphere in there when it’s dark outside!

Take big pizzas from Asda and a dvd and have pizza and movie night at the lodge. And marshmallow and skewers to toast on the fire in the lodge. The logs you buy to burn in the lodge are these sort of ones - they are about a tenner for 4 in the supermarket at CP but you can usually get much cheaper before you go online or in Home Bargains etc www.yorkshiretrading.com/products/fireglow-fire-log?variant=51337166868&currency=GBP&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=google+shopping&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIroS0mpzV5gIVS7TtCh1GdAu8EAQYASABEgJi0_D_BwE

If you can treat yourself to one meal out when you are there then the Pancake House is really nice and will feel quite special and different for the kids. It’s quite nice treating yourself to a nice takeaway coffee from Starbucks to sit and drink when they are playing on the playground.

Have an amazing time!

OP do you know how expensive it is to sell your house?
You think it's going to be cheaper renting than paying your mortgage? In my (long, professional) experience, unless you are massively downsizing, moving area to a much cheaper part of the country, or currently living in a ramshackle money-pit where a rental means you won't pay any maintenance costs, renting is actually, unfortunately, going to cost more. Unless you can claim benefits to contribute to your rent/council tax, but they will expect you to be maximising your income (unless your MH diagnosis is officially preventing you from working). Never mind estate agent, removal and solicitor fees which will very quickly add up and reduce any equity you are hoping to release.

If your kids are old enough to read the Center Parcs website they are old enough to have some understanding of your financial situation. No, we're not doing x, y, z, we're going to use the free facilities. On repeat.

Go to CP but please do research the cost of moving v renting.

Did the boys have Christmas money to put towards activities? That’s great that your mother has offered to give money too! Hope you have a great time!

Also echo about about selling your house - could you take a mortgage break/extend your mortgage?

StrongerThanIThought76 I was going to say this. I doubt renting would be financially better. Are you on the best possible deal you could be re your mortgage?

Ah so your mum has already said she will pay for an activity or two for your birthday? Problem solved

We have been a few times, and although our children are smaller than yours so more easily pleased, we don't eat out (expensive rubbish food) and the pool will keep all ages amused for ages.

The supermarket on site is quite expensive as it only sells brands so we take our own food or one of us pop out to a local supermarket for a big shop once we've unpacked the car and have space in the boot.

I can see with older children it's a bit more tricky to satisfy their interests, but the pool is amazing and I'm sure you will be able to spend some nice time walking around, visiting the nature reserve, and you can always pop on a DVD for family film and oven cook your own pizza night.

A change of scene sounds lovely for you I'm sure

OP, I have suffered from anxiety and depression in the past and I know it is hellish.

But please please don't give up the security of owning your own home in order to rent. Your mental health will not be helped when you are at the whim of a landlord - in terms of being able to make changes to the property, being served notice, seeing steady rent increases and so on.

I have done both and would urge you not to underestimate the stress of renting, and in your case you will feel responsible for the situation too.

I'm sure you will be doing everything you possibly can to get better but is there no way you can hold on until you are well enough to return to work? In six months you could be well enough to work part time and kicking yourself for giving up your house.

And I hope you enjoy your holiday, it sounds like just what you need.

You will have a lovely time, go and enjoy.

Centreparks is indeed v v v expensive if you do all the activities and eat out. We never have though. Always self cater and just do bikes and swimming.
I did say YABU though as your comments about the gift were poor. Saying they were being callous! No they were not, they were being thoughtful although some of that might have been misplaced given your financial situation.
On the work front, do you have a plan in place for returning to work in the near future? You clearly can't keep on with the lack of you ur income indefinitely, as you're already in significant debt. This situation in itself will hamper your recovery from depression and will increase stress on both you and DH. Many people with depression do manage some sort of employment with support, you need to look at how young I can do this too. It may not be a return to your previous job, but even a very part time job can help raise your self esteem (as well as reduce the overdraft!)
Enjoy your break, and look forward to a future where you're back in work again.

The CP website can be very intimidating when you see all the activity prices listed, but I echo everyone else that you can have an amazing time without the extras. Bring logs and bird feed from Poundland. My two loved getting up early and covering the patio with bird seed and waiting for the birds and squirrels and ducks to waddle up (and so did I!)

Word of warning: pottery is VERY expensive. It says £5 odd in the activity list but that’s just the studio fee - when you get in there you have to pick an item to paint and the smallest cheapest thing is still about a tenner. I took my two toddlers plus mil and ended up spending about £60

Hope you have a really great time

You'll have a lovely time at CP! We've only been once and loved it. They only did roller skating and the rest of the time we went to the pool and went out on scooters. There's also a disco in the evenings for kids. We did spend a fair amount of time in the cabin though due to rain.

You don't need to eat out - we did all self catering - but depending on weather it's good to have a couple of activities. It rained constantly during our 4 days there so we stayed inside a lot and needed the toys, drawing activities etc we brought with us. So definitely worth planning for bad weather as only the pool is free.

We have been to CP off and on for the last 14 years. The actual centre of the village is a no bike no scooter area so taking scooters is great but you will have to carry them in the middle bit or lock them up in the bike park.

If you go swimming you might be better walking as scooters are harder to lock up. We have been to CP in glorious sunshine in June (inset day at school and took them out for a day) and in February when it snowed.

You can spend a long time in the swimming pool, we love the rapids and just swimming outdoors especially when it is cold outside.

Take a couple of sets of swim wear, we always take an airer drier but I think they have one in the villas. We take a lot of food with us as we perfer to eat in rather than out. Take board games, activity books etc for the children. There are outdoor climbing frames and lots of things to see. The grounds are lovely for big walks.

We were there in March as a pre-GCSE weekend break. It was bliss.

You’ll have a great time. We don’t always do activities. They’re happy enough swimming, on the playground or riding their bikes or scooters about.

I would think again about selling the house though. Rent around here is about £200pcm more than the cost of a mortgage.

Would Recommend the orienteering as a cheap activity, gets you to see the whole park and is good fun.

Wow, some people really struggle to understand how serious some MH issues are.

OP, I'm sure you e already looked at all your options but are you sure you can't rent out a room or something? Or are you too tight on space or something?