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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hate when Parents do this

110 replies

QueenViki · 26/12/2019 11:35

I have a Mum friend on Facebook - her young daughter has contracted chicken pox at Christmas. Mum is sharing pictures of the poor little girl looking pale and miserable with spots in her torso accompanied by lots of ridiculous hashtags #Christmaspox etc. Aibu to think parents should not have the right to do this? The poor little thing is miserable enough without her photo being shared to all and sundry. Surely even little people are entitled to some privacy and dignity when they’re feeling very poorly .

OP posts:

cherish123 · 27/12/2019 18:41

Tip. Not fair. I have seen parents tagging an A and E dept and saying they are visiting 🙄.

LadyHofH · 27/12/2019 19:03

I don't have any social media, but if I did, I would absolutely not be putting pictures of my DC on it. I won't be photographed by anyone without giving consent, either. And I am absolutely Draconian with my teenagers about not taking photos of other people without their consent, never mind putting them on SM.

bananaskinsnomnom · 27/12/2019 19:09

I’ve seen plenty of picture of children snuggled up on the sofa, looking pale and blotchy poor things.

I’ve had plenty of close ups of chicken pox.

I’ve even had pictures of the dodgy nappy when a baby has been ill.

Plus the statuses of “my precious Sam has been sick twice this morning and is vomiting again!”

How degrading for the child and why the hell do parents think we all want to see that?! There’s plenty of children I love dearly, but sorry parents I have no desire to see pictures of them unwell or the pictures of the product of their illness, nor do I want to hear round by round update. If you need something and can’t leave the house due to child being sick, happy to receive a text and help as necessary.

WorraLiberty · 27/12/2019 19:15

YABU reason being it’s your friends child and she can take pictures and upload to social media if she wishes, regardless of if the child is ill or not.

Yes, unfortunately she can but that doesn't mean the OP is being unreasonable to hate it.

In hospital or in your own home, are two places everyone should have a right to privacy and not have it violated by the people they trust to look after them.

ThePluckOfTheCoward · 27/12/2019 19:15

Attention seeking bungalows (not much up top). Unfortunately you don't have to take an intelligence test before you have children. It must be sad to be soooo desperate to be noticed that you have to use your children to justify your own existence. Makes me sick.

Sirzy · 27/12/2019 19:18

After Ds has his last operation he asked me to post a picture of him showing off his tube so people could see he was doing well.

When he was critically ill as a baby a nurse persuaded me to take photos, I thought it was madness but in hindsight it has helped a lot with my PTSD from the time. None of them where posted online other than one of his first smile at which point he was still on oxygen via nasal specs.

Turquoise123 · 27/12/2019 19:21

Have never understood the invasion of privacy that happens with parental photos - and what makes it so much worse is how much of it is stealth boasting .....

Boysgrownbutstillathome · 27/12/2019 19:27

YANBU. I have a friend on FB who has a son with Prade Willig syndrome ( can't control appetite, lots of digestive and bowel problems). She over-shares constantly about her son's bowel movements etc. I pulled her up on this as I don't think it's right and she just replied that it's ok because he isn't on FB and if I didn't like it I should unfriend her!

breakfastpizza · 27/12/2019 19:36

Hopefully the current generation of kids will rebel and demand better privacy for their own kids.

MintyMabel · 27/12/2019 19:51

Aibu to think parents should not have the right to do this?

Of course parents should have the right to do this. Stopping them would be wholly wrong.

Whether or not they should want or choose to is a different matter.

MintyMabel · 27/12/2019 19:52

After Ds has his last operation he asked me to post a picture of him showing off his tube so people could see he was doing well

My ten year old asked me to do the same.

IncrediblySadToo · 27/12/2019 19:54

If you don’t like it, don’t do it
Let other people do what they want to do
MYOB

(I don’t have Facebook, that’s an option for you)

WorraLiberty · 27/12/2019 19:54

Of course parents should have the right to do this. Stopping them would be wholly wrong.

Why?

NoKnickerElastic · 27/12/2019 20:00

I had a FB friend post live updates including photos from the back of an ambulance after her DD fell down the stairs. I just couldn't comprehend that so unfollowed her soon afterwards.

MrsDragonLady · 27/12/2019 20:02

Ive never checked in to A&E or posted photos of my children when they are sick, but I HAVE posted pictures of my son after a massive allergic reaction (after he had been given antihistamines), mainly to make some of my thick family publicly aware that he has SERIOUS allergies and this is the result of their “just a tiny bit won’t hurt”!

They would never believe me telling them, and posting it for other people to comment on how bad it was, was the only way it got through to them. Countless trips to hospital because of their stupidity and I had had enough.

Loveislandaddict · 27/12/2019 20:12

I hate these Facebook posts also.

Pre-internet days, my dc was in hospital, and my dm took a photo of him. I was really cross. Not the time or place.

randomchatter · 27/12/2019 20:14

Social Media is a strange beast. Most wouldn't take pics of their sick child and flash it around to complete strangers in the local Tesco. Somehow doing so on SM to increase followers, gain some oohs, aaahs and likes, makes it ok.

I think there are a good few SM blogger mums who are going to have to answer to their adult kids in a few years and it's not going to be pretty.

Cremebrule · 27/12/2019 20:15

I find it really odd. My little one has been in hospital quite a bit and I can’t say it ever crossed my mind to check in or post a picture.

Liverpool52 · 27/12/2019 20:19

A friend if mine did this and the caption underneath was all about poor her and how hard being a mother is. So yep, entirely selfish and attention seeking.

di2004 · 27/12/2019 20:25

Yes it’s attention seeking of the worst kind.
What is wrong with people?

Funpixie · 27/12/2019 20:29

💁🏼‍♀️ Hi voice of discontent here - as a single mum who can’t nip out to makes calls when in hospital - the post letting people know what’s happening keeps me company and feeling less alone - frequently no child in photo but geez - sometimes it’s a cry for support - perhaps call next time you see it?

usernamepp · 27/12/2019 20:35

I have a Facebook friend who uploads pictures of her child's vomit with captions such as 'just had to clear this up! Long night ahead!' Etc

WildChristmas · 27/12/2019 20:37

I wouldn’t do this or my child.

However we are going into a new social media world. My older child is very comfortable with posting pics and being very open. Far more than me. I’ve locked down my social media, he has huge friend lists.

So I don’t think posting pictures of I’ll kids is good. I just wonder what our kids will be posting when they are parents? They’ve a different perspective.

StillNumb · 27/12/2019 21:05

I did do a couple of posts when I boke my leg. I fullly admit that I wanted sympathy and attention, which I got. I would never post about a third party though.

MintyMabel · 27/12/2019 21:05

Why?

Because fucking about with parental rights over something as trivial as posting pictures on social media isn’t something our lawmakers should be doing.

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