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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

July born child held back a year

164 replies

AlorMy · 26/12/2019 01:28

Not my child but DN (nephew)

He is 3. Seems average in development and is well socialised.

His birthday is late June and his parents are wanting him to be in the class below because they feel that he’ll be at a disadvantage being so young in the class.

Reception is saying no.

How can parents push through with this?

OP posts:
Original poster
AlorMy · 26/12/2019 01:29

🤦‍♀️

Meant to post in education

OP posts:
AwakeAmbs · 26/12/2019 02:33

You have to apply stating the reasons.

In my opinion it’s too young to send them and can cause damage. They are very little still.

I would advise home education also above the school system

Pipandmum · 26/12/2019 02:40

It depends in the kid but my son is late July and was sooo ready for school! Stepson is August and he did fine too. Unless the child has issues don't see the point in holding them back but it's a personal thing. (I was a whole year younger than all my classmates as I skipped a year when moving to another country and I was always in top 5%.)

Spartak · 26/12/2019 02:46

Assuming you are in England, he won't be that young in his year. On average a sixth of the intake will be younger (July and August birthdays)

Unless there are special educational needs, he will be fine.

Where I am, they don't have to start school until the term after they turn 5, so he could start a year later but would go into year 1 rather than reception so would then be disadvantaged. It might be worth discussing with the school, their views on some flexibility if he is struggling with the longer school days - I've know several children who have done some half days for the first couple of terms.

Being the oldest in the year group is no guarantee of academic advantage anyway - my brother is an early October birthday and I'm a late July. He was much slower to read, write and just settle in. But by the time we got to secondary our GCSE and A Level results were almost identical.

Saracen · 26/12/2019 02:52

His parents could delay the decision about which year group he should go into by not sending him to school at four or five, but instead home educating for a while. This would buy them time to figure out where he would best thrive, and if necessary fight for the right for him to go into a class with children of a different age.

As children get older, it is easier to see where they would fit best, both academically and socially. And the difference between (say) a child who has just turned nine and a child who is nearly ten is far less than the difference between a child who has just turned four and a child who is nearly five. The potential mismatch between him and his slightly-older classmates may evaporate in time. He'll get off on the right foot with his education if he can get what he needs in the short term and his confidence stays high because he's being asked to learn things which are appropriate for him. That is easy to do if his learning is targeted to him as an individual and he gets one-to-one attention.

PatricksRum · 26/12/2019 05:22

Following as this will be me soon

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/12/2019 06:00

My friend’s ds was a late July baby. He did struggle with the routine etc. However, he is doing really well at school, just gone onto secondary.

In my experience the majority of children are born either in the first or last 2 or 3 months of the school year. I would only apply if there are real extenuating circumstances for even if the request is granted this time around, my understanding is that a new application is needed for secondary and were this second requested rejected your dn would be forced to jump up a year.

June is hardly early tbh.

Mummyoflittledragon · 26/12/2019 06:01

Late I mean.

TillyTheTiger · 26/12/2019 06:15

If you're not already on it you need the Facebook group 'Flexible School Admissions for Summer Borns'. You'll find everything you need on there - template letters, advice about speaking to headteachers etc, and a lot of encouragement from people who have done the same for their child and had a great outcome.

Thefifthbeatle · 26/12/2019 08:11

I don't have any practical suggestions, sorry, but we are planning on doing the same with DD (late July birthday).

The number of people who have told me that I am wrong and that she will be fine in her correct year and that their next door neighbour's cousin's wife was a summer baby and is very clever etc is astonishing - from my parents to random people on playdates. I try not to discuss it now, as people are just so rude about it. I don't comment on their parenting decisions except to smile politely and nod, and to be honest, when I say that DD is going to stay back a year, I wasn't proposing that we open a negotiation about mine. I hope your nephew loves school whenever he starts and that his parents are left alone to make their own decisions in peace without everyone and their dog passing judgement.

Taddda · 26/12/2019 08:17

(Thanks for your thread, also following as we're currently having this discussion!)
My eldest Dd's birthday is 26th August, meaning she will have only turned 4 by a matter of days before she'd be due to start- I really want her to start the following year but am not sure how to play this one (whether I can?)
Looking for your responses

headinthecloud · 26/12/2019 08:27

My son turned 3 at the end of August and started school 2 weeks later and is doing great. My eldest who is a March baby started the September after her birthday so she was 3.5 years old and honestly I don't see the difference in them with starting school at even 6 months age difference but I appreciate each child is different.

TeenPlusTwenties · 26/12/2019 08:30

I am in 2 minds about this.

If everyone with July & August birthdays defers, it just pushes the disadvantage to the May & June birthdays.

On the other hand there is clear data that shows that summer born babies on average still under achieve slightly at GCSEs compared with their autumn born peers.

Moving peer group can have sports team disadvantages as they won't be the right age to do team sports with their friends but will be with the class above.

Having a summer and autumn born myself, I think I would look to try to defer if:

  • July/August born child showing to be less able to concentrate / sit still than others of the same age . (e.g. Nursery staff say won't sit on mat for story time)
  • Any form of prematurity, or illness in early years that could have set back development
  • Any history of dyslexia etc in the family that might impact education later on
81Byerley · 26/12/2019 08:32

My youngest son was a month past his 4th birthday, but he was way too young.

Decorhate · 26/12/2019 08:32

My middle child is a July baby. He is now at uni & with hindsight, the issues caused by being one of the youngest were social rather than academic. Eg was always the last of his friends to move up to the next age group in Scouts. Could not go out to pubs & clubs with older friends. (Not necessarily a bad thing!)

Waxonwaxoff0 · 26/12/2019 08:35

Is it June or July? Thread title says July and the post says June.

My DS is late June. Wouldn't even have crossed my mind to hold him back a year. He's in Year 2 and doing fine.

I think it depends on the child. I was the youngest in my year at school (very late August) and my GCSE results were in the top 25% of the year group.

lifeisgoodagain · 26/12/2019 08:37

June is not too young unless he was a preemie or has sn, someone has to be younger, the cut off is August, I'm late August and have a degree from a Russell group university! How will this kid feel at 16 when he knows everyone is younger and he should already be in 6th form college? He'll never be able to play school sports with his year competitively etc. I hate this trying to game the system, it backfires

Winter2020 · 26/12/2019 08:45

What I would be very wary of is moving DN to a school that allows him to go into the year below if he has already started school and settled into school with his correct year group. (Or simply moving year groups after already settling in)

I have seen this happen (because the family had wanted the child to go into the year below and kept fighting for this after school had started) and the child's family very much regretted their decision to disrupt the child. They had fitted in well socially in their original school and then after the move really struggled. It is easier for the academic work to be adjusted to the correct level or the chikd to be given extea support than to mess around with peer groups after they have formed.

It might have been fine if it was from the first day of school but I believe they would then be under the threat of having to move into their "correct" year group st some later point - again disrupting friendships.

happytoday73 · 26/12/2019 08:47

Taddda... My son is equally late in the year. He was born 2 weeks early so should have been the year below. We pondered keeping him back to the year below (where he should have been) and these days it's easier to do than ever. Ring up your local school admissions authority and talk to them about the process. Also speak to the school you are proposing they go too.. Would they be happy for her to delay? What can they do to help application? A head teacher on your side helps... This helps you with LA if they are like ours and relatively few children are held back... (in our area you apply as usual online in standard year and then have forms to complete with info about why want to defer)

In the end didn't as he was ready for school and nursery agreed he would cope well.

The other reason we didn't was our school choice... That's worth looking into... We didn't choose local school as no leeway for being the youngest... Expectations on ability, reading, behaviour were the same for those that turned 5 as started to those that had only just turned 4. Very based on educational achievements. We chose a different school where very clear reception was about play, settling into school life and love of learning . Total acceptance that for many young in year, especially boys, they would be behind..... Obviously not all... But the acceptance that they will get there at there own speed was great...
Just something to consider when go around to view schools

twoheaped · 26/12/2019 08:48

My dd was 2 weeks past her 4th birthday when she started.
Socially, she struggled as she was immature with peer relationships, not necessarily her behaviour.
Academically, she was put pulled out for extra hand writing lessons, but again I would expect a that her fine motor skills would be behind due to age.
Socially, I am not sure she ever caught up. She is now in yr9 and has only just this year managed to make close friendships.
That said, it could be more about her than the month she was born, she is a quirky character.

AlpacaGoodnight · 26/12/2019 08:52

June or July? Late August or if there was a development delay then it might be different but I don't think unless there is a back story it would be necessary to.

BerylReader · 26/12/2019 09:01

You can’t apply this year for him to be deferred a year. So the school would say no to that. They won’t keep you a place for the year after basically. You’d have to apply with everyone else for the intake 2021-22.

hidinginthenightgarden · 26/12/2019 09:03

My understanding is that even if she starts school a year late, she will have to sit the yr 6 sats at the same time as her age group or would be considered to have an advantage over her peers. This means that at some point she will have to skip a year group which may be socially difficult.
This may just be in my area though. Either way you need a professional on side. HV, Doctor etc as you need a good reason to do it.

Alicealicewhothe · 26/12/2019 09:03

Look on the local authority website for deferring or offsetting guidance.

Two options - deferring entry to reception means child could start reception year either Jan or after Easter term and then still transition into year 1 with cohort. This is done between parents and school and doesnt require going via local authority. Benefits for this is they get more time in pre school, transition to reception after majority of children have already transitioned so teacher can give a bit more focus time for them, they still in the same chronological age group.

Offsetting means officially changing the child year group and they would go into a reception a year later. This needs to be "agreed by the LA but they cant really say no for summer born children.

Be mindful of offsetting how this might impact secondary school as that school has to agree to keep child in year group. If they are academically find sometimes you can find schools wanting child to jump back into chronological year group. Especially academy schools have more freedom. It also means child can legally walk away from education when they still have 1 year left.

Advice we usually give is to defer till January, then start reception and if child is looking they might struggle then request to offset and child will stay in reception for another year.

Generally local authorities only want to agree if child has needs that will impact education or it is more towards late august birthdays.