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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

July born child held back a year

164 replies

AlorMy · 26/12/2019 01:28

Not my child but DN (nephew)

He is 3. Seems average in development and is well socialised.

His birthday is late June and his parents are wanting him to be in the class below because they feel that he’ll be at a disadvantage being so young in the class.

Reception is saying no.

How can parents push through with this?

OP posts:
Worried3456789 · 26/12/2019 20:55

My daughter was born on 30th August and she started school a week later. She was also born 4 weeks early, so should have actually been one of the eldest children in the year group!

She's in year 1 now and struggling. If you measured her against reception children (the year she should have been in), then she's exactly where she should be. Measured against other year 1 children she's behind - socially as well as academically.

I asked about delaying her entry but was told she could only do it if she started straight intonyearn1, so it wouldn't have helped her at all

I feel very sad about it

DorisDaisyMay · 26/12/2019 21:10

I have two summer borns. Am a Senco and very aware of the data.
Here is what I did: One went at three to a Montessori nursery school. The leap in his development was actually amazing to me. I credit it to the calm, child centred and routine based approach. Because of this experience I put him into school at 4. He has excelled.

Different circumstances for second child. He was much more petite and needed to be near me. He didn’t go to nursery. He went to school at 4 but it was apparent that he was too young developmentally. He started to wet the bed and my compliant child started to act out.

I flexi-schooled him. Part time in school. Part time at home (playing and watching and relaxing) for the reception year. This is at the discretion of the school and so doesn’t need LA approval. Opens up and keeps his school place. He thrived doing this.

It is totally dependent on the child but there is a middle option with flexi-schooling.

DorisDaisyMay · 26/12/2019 21:11

My personal and professional opinion is that we send our children to school too young.

Awkward1 · 26/12/2019 22:31

I think an average, well behaved etc summerborn would be fine.
But obviously half be below average and that makes them 1y+ behind the average sept borns.
The expectations are high. Partitioning 2 digit numbers at 5yo SATs at nearly 7yo. All tables in yr 4.
For the SATs they need to read well or else they wouldnt be able to do the maths.
Ime learning to write at 4.3yo was a bad idea, too resistant and got into very bad habits.
I think somekids wont notice thry are behind others see all the others doing lovely work and start to give up.
Dc was bright but i still needed to help alot with ks1 SATs.

Emmapeeler1 · 26/12/2019 22:55

There is some confusion in the answers on this thread.

Deferring is missing a term or two or all of reception.

Deceleration is when you apply for your child to be accepted into reception class a year late (ie at the legal compulsory school age of 5, not three terms before it at 4).

That’s what I did. I received a letter stating he will be in that year group throughout his schooling.

Taddda · 27/12/2019 01:36

Ok, so my circumstances, v.late August born DD, she was 2 weeks early also (she would have been the year above if born just 1 week later)- I definitely want to defer her a year, so what happens? Who decides if I can or can't? Does it go to a board or is it the schools decision, do I have to attend meetings giving my reasons??

I also have Dd2, their only 15 months apart so really also want them 1 year apart not 2- can I factor this in??

Grandmi · 27/12/2019 01:43

My son was a mid July baby. He was definitely not disadvantaged in his year at school ! He caught up very quickly with his year group and his main friends were October/ November babies.

WaterSheep · 27/12/2019 08:44

I received a letter stating he will be in that year group throughout his schooling.

That's interesting Emma Does this still apply when goes to secondary school, sixth form, college etc or if you move to a different area?

happycamper11 · 27/12/2019 09:02

There is some confusion in the answers on this thread.

Deferring is missing a term or two or all of reception.

And you are causing yet more confusion. That is not what deferring means by its very definition. To defer means to postpone it til a later date I.e to start reception the year after.

@Taddda as you can see this post is full of conflicting (wrong) advice, anecdotal evidence and opinions being given as fact so as advised to the OP, join one of the Facebook pages given. The answer depends very much on your local authority and individual school as some are more on board than others but knowing your rights will help your argument.

happycamper11 · 27/12/2019 09:02

Sorry - bold fail there. First 2 sentences should be in bold

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 27/12/2019 09:06

I don't understand this - I have a mid-July birthday, went to school when I was 5 and considered (at that time!) very intelligent. Zoomed through the classes (private school).

Wannabegreenfingers · 27/12/2019 09:12

Unless he has very obvious signs of delay or bring really disadvantaged I really wouldn't.

We looked at this for our end of August child as I'd read so much saying he would be disadvantaged, but at the time he would of missed out on reception and gone straight to year one. We sent him at just turned 4 and he is one of the brightest in the year - currently studying for his 11+. If I'd held him back he would of been bored.

Look at the child as an individual and not just a summer born.

happycamper11 · 27/12/2019 09:12

Bizarrely @MilkTrayLimeBarrel all children are different and are ready for things at different times

happycamper11 · 27/12/2019 09:21

I deferred my child - we are in Scotland so there was none of the battle. It was free choice and automatic.
(I'm familiar with the English way due to a friend going through it.)

Academically she's quite advanced and always has been however she does not get bored as the curriculum allows each child to work at their individual level. My decision was based on her social and emotional development. She just wouldn't have coped the same and I saw no point in pushing her to do so. The children in the year above her are definitely more advanced socially and my DD fits in and is super popular in her year group. It's given her massive confidence both finding the initial work easy and being one of the older 'leader' children. Sending her the year before I suspect would have had a very different outcome.

Taddda · 27/12/2019 09:26

@happycamper11 thank you (this is all really confusing/conflicting!). I'll join the Facebook group and start making enquiries as to what the criteria is within my LA- I'm a bit worried as this is coming around so quickly I dont want to be forced into a decision I know would be wrong, she really isnt ready for school yet-

LisaSimpsonsbff · 27/12/2019 09:40

It's given her massive confidence both finding the initial work easy and being one of the older 'leader' children. Sending her the year before I suspect would have had a very different outcome.

But isn't this exactly why this is dubious as a policy? No one's denying that being the oldest is the advantage - what you've done is take that advantage for your own child and increase its magnitude (as she might be more than a year older than the youngest child in her class - what do you think that's done for their confidence?).

As the mother of a summer born I totally understand why people want to do this but I feel uneasy about it as a policy - we all know that middle class parents are much more likely to use this option, and it feels to me like it is potentially increasing the inequality that it's supposed to address.

Sicario · 27/12/2019 09:45

There is lots of evidence to suggest that late summer babies fare much worse in school. I feel that my own late summer kid should not have started school that year, and would have been much better to wait a year. Mine was definitely too young to start school, but that was the rules. I wish I had made a fuss and refused in order to hold back for a year.

happycamper11 · 27/12/2019 09:50

as she might be more than a year older than the youngest child in her class - what do you think that's done for their confidence?)

She's quite smug about being one of the older children but she's far from the oldest as she is literally days from the cut off for the next year. Lots of children further from the cut off have auto deferred as it's allowed within 2 months plus there are some significantly older children who have deferred under special circumstances. Her best friend who is legitimately in that year is only 3 weeks younger than her

happycamper11 · 27/12/2019 09:53

we all know that middle class parents are much more likely to use this option, and it feels to me like it is potentially increasing the inequality that it's supposed to address.

Also I'm not middle class, i'm a lone parent receiving basically no maintenance on a v low income. So yes any step up my dc can get I'll take

happycamper11 · 27/12/2019 09:57

Sorry did you mean the confidence of the other children in her class? Well surely that's their parents choice as they had the exact same options to defer as I did. However it's unlikely due to how close she is to the cut off that there are many if any at all that she's more than a year older than- it might be the case with others older than herself but as I said we all had the same choices when applying for school

Emmapeeler1 · 27/12/2019 10:37

@happycamper11

I agree with your advice to join the Facebook group, as someone who has done it. I was trying to explain to the OP (perhaps inadequately) that the advice she is being given by posters (one who says she works in admissions) that you have to go into year 1 if you defer reception is wrong - but that you have to officially apply for what in my LA is called deceleration (which is distinct from simply delaying YR start).

Emmapeeler1 · 27/12/2019 10:40

we all know that middle class parents are much more likely to use this option

No, we don’t. In Scotland and Northern Ireland it’s just a simple choice not something shrouded in extra paperwork and confusion. And not a big deal.

Emmapeeler1 · 27/12/2019 10:44

@WaterSheep the letter states it applies to all of his schooling in my LA. I wondered about moving, and when we were half-looking to move to a neighbouring LA I asked what would happen and they pointed to an option on their application form where you can state that they have been educated in a different year group.

Ginfordinner · 27/12/2019 10:45

DD (mid July born) started school in the January, as back then, we had September and January starts.

The only time being the youngest held her back was when she was in year 13 at school, and had a limited social life due to being under age. In our local town they won't even allow under 18s into bars after 10 pm at weekends. She could even get fake ID as no-one she knew looked anything like her.

Forflipssake2 · 27/12/2019 10:50

I’m a TA in a primary school. If your child’s birthday is at the end of August and you feel they are not mature enough to start school keep them back a year. Children born in July, in my opinion, should start with their cohort.

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