to imagine recklessly that a 'self-catering' holiday will be anything other than forced labour for me now I am a Mum?

[Verso]

You can all pat me on the head now and say 'there, there', with the voice of experience.

Forgive me - DD is only two, so it's still a shock to find that the concept of 'holiday' now applies to her and DH only. When did the rules change? No one showed me the paperwork!

I will learn, no doubt!

Ooh, but I was (am?) bitter . Can anyone empathise?

We've just got back from a 4 day break with our 2 dds (3 and 6 months) and it was fab. we booked a small b&b with a residents' lounge. It only had 4 bedrooms so we felt safe putting the dd's to bed then coming downstairs with a baby monitor and cracking open a bottle of wine in the lounge.

Evening meals were also provided at flexible times. A couple of times we ate early with the dc's and on the last night we put them to bed early and dh and I had a meal together (with more wine!). It was heavenly, felt like the first proper holiday we've had since dd1 was born, can't wait to go back.

My kids hated the American food-industrial, overprocessed, high sugar,salt,fat JUNK. I had to persuade relatives/friends not to take us out, so we could enjoy the local corn on the cob some nights. (I had to cook it myself at Grans, no one ever cooks there anymore if they can avoid it-too hot and cheaper to eat out. Supersize me, dude!).

They also hate sitting in restaurants, at least in the noisy all-indoor US restaurant culture that has spread to here and Ireland-so that's the end of that former holiday treat for Mum (oh well, I'm still too fat anyway since dd2 came along). What's left? Can't relax on a beach-they might drown. Can't read a novel, until they are asleep. Can't sightsee or explore (too far to walk, or need toilet every 2 mins, or hungry, thirsty, itchy, hot, cold, wet, too sunny). Sun sea, sand....hmmm there seems to be something else missing.....

Xenia just read your post about teenagers. so do yours still like going away as a family?. I will so miss it when ds doesn't come anymore.

I've just got back from two weeks self catering in France and it is hard work with all the cleaning etc but still good fun. We spent a lot of time on the beach, which we can't do at home, and we had a lovely house overlooking the sea. We also ate out a lot so I didn't have to cook too much.
I have insisted, though, that our next holiday will be in a hotel, so the room is cleaned for us every day, and I want at least half board so breakfast and dinner will be taken care of each day.
Weve done self catering since the boys came along (they're 5 and 3) and it's time for a change, methinks.

2shoes, yes but only if they have a say in the destination. Caribbean was fine but had I suggested Bognor I doubt they would have been rushing to come. Skiing they love too. I've deliberately invited the girls' boyfriends for the last 2 or 3 years to the summer holiday too which helps encourage them to come with us. Also having much younger brothers who want them there also helps.

Xenia "Caribbean was fine but had I suggested Bognor I doubt they would have been rushing to come. Skiing they love too"

A sophistacted take on good old fashioned cupboard love.

Xenia glad to say at the moment he will be happy as long as it is not Kent(no offence to kent but have been there last 2 years) we can't do abroad because of dd.
Have to say I love SC I am lucky though as dh does more than his share.

SC hol when DD was a toddler was dreadful (we left early) and we stuck to nice hotels for a few years.
Still not really 'holidays' for me though.

Last year (when DD 7)tried sc again - great! Now at the stage where we need space for damp wetsuits, what on earth would you do with them in a hotel? DD somewhat helpful, DH did all the shopping (NB - never SC far from decent food shops) , no complicated cooking, minimal tidying/cleaning. Went back to the same place this year. This time even better cos DD suddenly got into reading Harry Potter so disappeared all evening.

When your DD is a few years older, if DH has more hols than you then maybe he can take her off for a few days - my DH often takes DD to grannys now, and this summer they had a couple of days in York together. Even if I'm still working its like a holiday from the responsibility and I can do what I want in the evening! Something to look forward to, it does get easier.

Verso...comiserations..have just returned from a ghastly week in Norfolk too (sun finally came out at 4.30pm on the friday...we left at 7.30pm )

Cooked 4 nights out of the 7 and had to wash and tidy as at home.....was a bit fed up really.

Am insisting that next summer we go to a nice hotel - am going to try one of those "kinderhotels" that were featured in The times a while back...lots of stuff for young children to do and no cooking or cleaning for me - hurrah!!

Oh, and bits kept falling off the bloody car.

On back country roads.

In the driving wind and rain.

Cosmic.

If you do SC well you will, even as mum, get plenty of down time too. We don't do kids clubs, it's just not for us although DD would probably enjoy to we prefer to spend time together, esp DH who doesn't see as much of DD during the rest of the time. Even so both me and DH get time for ourselves on holiday, and once DD is in bed, time for us as a couple as well.

We actually tend to holiday with other people which helps too - parents, inlaws and more recently friends with children too. The latter wored well last time, we have a week away with friends and children in October which should be great - and planning a week with friends next summer too, followed by a week on our own straight after.

Becaroo, that sounds more like a punishment than a holiday

becaroo, I empathise, completely. Cosmic indeed!

Wish I knew how to do SC 'well', Hulababy. Hope you can advise. What do you advise for week of horizontal driving rain?

We made some bee-yoo-tee-ful collages, btw. Cutting and sticking at least is something both DD and I really like and read loads of books, and put wellies on to splash to the post office... and went swimming. Did stuff - just still felt very 'unrested' by the end of it...

Verso - rain would be an issue wherever though. We only had one day with rain - we just went out as planned, which was to a parfumerie which was indoors, and then had a leisurely early evening meal sat under cover. One day was fine, a week of it would be rubbish. But then I'd be equally stumped if in a hotel - probably more so only having a hotel room to be stuck in, rather than a whole house with games, TV, DVDs, books, etc.

Verso if it's any consolation the 'holiday' I had when dd was 10 months and ds 3.5 was one of my worst times ever.

My dp is very hands on and helpful but even so I felt as though I had spent the whole week under the table trying to keep the carpet (CARPET!) clean from dd's efforts to feed herself. We had intended to have the kids in together but found we couldn't move the cot from our room up the charming olde worlde style stairs so had dd waking us up every day at 6.00 with cheery shouts.

Said charming olde worlde cottage was in fact a death trap for both kids and so one of us had to watch them like a hawk at all times. DS developed a major dog phobia which meant he couldn't even go in the garden on his own as a friendly sheep dog attempted to round him up every time he stuck his nose outside.

DP and I fell asleep on the sofa every night after one glass of wine.

Much easier now they are 7 and 5 though!

Just back from a weeks camping, (taking the concept of a SC holiday to the limit!). Duties were shared (as at home and DW would hopefully back me up on that). I did all the cooking (as at home) whilst DW kept the DC (4&2) away from me and the stove, DW looked after laundry (as at home). It rained, the tent leaked and it was pretty chilly in the evening to say the least. Does that sound like a holiday? No not really....

BUT,

we visited different places every day, the kids had a complete ball, I completely forgot about work and on return to civilisation we really appreciated our creature comforts.

So, relaxed and recuperated? Hell no, we've got a 2 and a 4 year old!
Feel like I've been away and done something different? definitely!

I never do any washing when I'm on holiday. we went camping for a fortnight and we took enough clean clothes to last.

Caroline1852 - LOL. That's what I thought, too. Someone around here having problems letting go, methinks...

I think the answer is to holiday with other families, its sort of dilutes everything. Everyone gets a night out on their own as others can babysit. Everyone gets to do a bit of cooking, child care etc. Its jolly so less likely to row with partner.

Just got back from short break myself but with PIL. MIL did most of cooking and most of childcare - hoorah. DH however worked all day the first day then played gold from 12 til 4 Monday and Tuesday. I did have a bit of a grumble about that.

Anchovy, I could have written your post!Only difference is my 2 are still under 5. I live for the time when holidays will be holidays again. For now, we are quite enjoying self-catering in pretty locations in the UK.

Xenia, lol at your tips to find a house-trained husband. I tend to agree in that it is better to marry one that is already house-trained, than to try and train him after marriage.

My dh is a natural: 50-50 help when he is at home and when we are on holiday - in fact, I think he does more and is better with the children. My father does not have a clue (and I wouldn't even try) after 40 years.

puddle - we stayed in a child death trap once. A charming Cornish cottage near St Ives made of huge rounded granite boulders, unrendered on two walls, positioned so that any 2yr old standing up at the wrong place could conveniently knock themselves out . At one end of the main room was a woodburner which got red hot (as they do). It was October and chilly and the woodburner was the only source of heat. So you could choose between cold or scared! And at the other end of the room were some open-tread wooden stairs with no hand rail or any kind of protection at all. Kept DH and I on our toes. Sooo relaxing. But as far as I remember we had a good time..

Flum, agree with holidaying with others. But only if they have similar ideas on bringing up children. I read an article recently about two couples and their children who holidayed together. Children from couple one ran free all week, children from couple two were very stiff and routine-driven. There is an argument for both but they do not holiday well together. There was one funny passage where one of the stiff daughters said "They are playing with the hospipe, can I do that?" The stiff Mummy, said: "No, we don't play with hospepipes." And the stiff girl asked: "Why not/" The stiff Mummy replied: "Because it belongs to the owner of the villa and he might not like it." Mother of wild children said that she might as well have said "Because we have manners". The families went their separate ways apparently. Funny, when I read it I thought of Anna8888! Big lol!

I second that caroline! We've been camping with friends with whom we have a lot in common and similar parenting ideas - but we still found ourselves having to bite our tongues a few times. But we're still friends so it can't have been that bad

I've always classed a holiday as a different window to look out of when washing up.