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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be upset that DH parents are buying BIL a house!

30 replies

lisad123 · 25/08/2007 22:04

Me and Dh have been married 6 years now and due our second dd in a few weeks. DH parents moved 6 months after we got togther to Wales. His brother kept getting inot trouble here so he moved up there too. He met a girl a few years back and moved in with her baout 30mins from his parents. Me and DH settled here.

BIL is very bad at managing money and has gone from onejob to the next, and even told his boss to stick his job 3 months before there dd was born. They are forever having there phone count off, not paying electric ect. BIL GF has recently had another child. So they have 2 children of their own and 1 from her previous relationship. The have LA housing but its a small 2 bed flat but the council suck there and they arent likely to be moved anytime soon.

Phone call to DH parents tonight ended up with FIL telling DH he is selling his house for 500K and moving closer to town as he is really struggling with driving (they live in middle of no where) and the rest of the money is buying BIL a house for his family.

We borrowed £900 when we first moved and we tried to pay it back but was told not to worry but after a row with FIL they asked for it back. They never send anything for DD, tell us we have to phone them as they are pensioners and cant afford to call us and if we dont ring often enough we get texts that arent nice.

Do I just sound like a green eyes monster? I just feel like we have worked our arses off to get where we are with no help from inlaws but his bro buggers it up every time and gets things handed to him. I would want him to prove he could be sensiable before I put that amount of money his way, as if he falls behind on bills they will end up having to bail him out again, as always.

Thanks if you got to the end of this.

lisa

OP posts:
alicet · 26/08/2007 12:55

Lisa I can totally understand why you are p*ssed off with this situation. Unfortunately there is nothing you can do about it as its their money... Know this is not really what you are getting at and can understand the upset at the gross inequality between your dh and bil - one gets a house the other doesn't even get a phone call!!!

Would rather be you and have your life though than sponging tosser bil! Good on you and your dh for building a life for your family on your own. Thats a lot to be proud of.

LoveAngel · 26/08/2007 12:58

agree with alicet 100%

LIZS · 26/08/2007 13:05

agree with alicet. Yanbu but you can't change their choices. Perhaps there will be some redress of the balance financially later on, rather depends on how the house purchase is set up and any subsequent gifts and wills. Personally I'd value my independence in comparison to BILs but taking the moral high ground doesn't necessarily ease the annoyance.

wolveschick · 26/08/2007 13:10

YANBU but you can hold your head up high. never ceases to amaze me how many people I know are soooo happy to just take handouts from rellies.

tuppy · 26/08/2007 16:12

YAR to feel some kind of emotion or to hold an opinion about this situation...
...but

Your BIL is an adult with a family of his own, as are you and your dh.

BIL is tied to IL's apron strings - and from what you say about your £900 loan the house may not be a complete "gift" to him anyway - whereas you and dh are proper independent adults who pay your own way and achieve what you have by working for it.

Who would you rather be ? What would make you feel prouder ?

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