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AIBU?

I was crying, he was filming

88 replies

RexDangerVest · 25/12/2019 07:59

I've done everything for Christmas, literally every single thing. DP hasn't bought a single present or contributed ANYTHING. Hasn't even asked what I've bought the kids or showed the slightest bit of interest. He went to bed last night, I stayed up finishing sorting everything. He has a lie in, I was up at 5.30 with eldest DS (SEN) trying to calm him and stop him waking everyone up. Youngest DS wakes up so I said we can go downstairs now but need to wait for daddy to open presents. After some persuading DP comes downstairs. He's already grumpy and snappy with me and the kids (eldest is hyper). I ask to borrow his phone to take some photos as mine is broken. He's being rude and I'm getting upset as kids are starting to open presents. He starts filming on his phone and I tell him to stop but he won't. I tried to get his phone and he yelled at me and wouldn't give it to me. Carried on filming. I missed the kids opening their presents because I was so upset and he just sat and filmed the whole thing. He didn't even deserve to be there the selfish fuck. I'm LTB I hope you all agree IANBU

OP posts:
NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 · 25/12/2019 08:02

That sounds crap. He was very very insistent that you not use his phone wasn't he?

ferrier · 25/12/2019 08:02

Yep .... sounds like a LTB. But for today, dust yourself down and give your dc the best day you can manage. Tomorrow, start lining up your ducks. Flowers

Silencedwitness · 25/12/2019 08:03

What a nasty, lazy piece of shit. You’d be very within your rights to consider leaving him.

Shoxfordian · 25/12/2019 08:04

He seems like a knob
Try and have a good day with the kids but don't put up with his shit for another year

SnorkMaiden81 · 25/12/2019 08:06

Sounds like the straw that broke the camels back.

Wonder what it is on his phone he doesn't want you to see.

Sadiesnakes · 25/12/2019 08:07

Yep, I know it's the least of your worry's but what's on his phone I wonder🤔

OneDay10 · 25/12/2019 08:08

but you allowed him to get away doing nothing? And why did you have to miss it fighting for a phone? why didnt you just sit and watch them actually open it. both of you behaved badly, him worse

TheCWord · 25/12/2019 08:08

Thinking of you today. Hoping it gets better for you. Christmas often brings out the worst in people when they don't want to be there either

RexDangerVest · 25/12/2019 08:09

He also stuck the phone in my face while he was filming to get a close up of me angry and upset

OP posts:
Womenwotlunch · 25/12/2019 08:10

Agree, that you should suck it up for Christmas.
December 27, start thinking about whether you want to endure next Christmas with this man

LagunaBubbles · 25/12/2019 08:10

It depresses me reading these threads, why some women stay with absolute arse holes. Being on your own is much much better than being stuck in an awful relationship.

WhoTheFuckIsGail · 25/12/2019 08:12

What a tosser. Just imagine what your Christmas will be like next year without this loser.

RexDangerVest · 25/12/2019 08:12

And why did you have to miss it fighting for a phone? why didnt you just sit and watch them actually open it.

Yeah I know, it's really shit. I wish I could just smile and pretend everything is fine and not damage my children by behaving horribly but I hate him and the way he makes me feel and I can't help crying and shouting.

OP posts:
Weenurse · 25/12/2019 08:15

Sounds shit, I hope your day improves.
Get ducks in a row for new yea

YouJustDoYou · 25/12/2019 08:17

What a pathetic immature abusive piece of shit.why are you even with him? Your poor kids

RexDangerVest · 25/12/2019 08:17

I'll do my best to keep up together now but I just wish he wasn't here. He will be rude and unpleasant without a second thought, he never cares to filter himself in front of the kids

OP posts:
Queenofheartsnomore · 25/12/2019 08:18

He's a dick head. Hope you enjoy the rest of the day with your children.

RexDangerVest · 25/12/2019 08:19

why are you even with him?

I don't want to be away from my children

OP posts:
Noti23 · 25/12/2019 08:20

“I hate him and the way he makes me feel”

Leave him once Xmas is over. Your life will improve drastically and you’ll never look back.

DaisyDando · 25/12/2019 08:21

It’s not your fault in any way.

BrickTop999 · 25/12/2019 08:21

I think he has lost all love and interest with his family Im afraid. His enjoyment was not filming his children opening their presents but filming his wife upset and distressed.
Id get through xmas as best you can and then work out an exit strategy to LTB Flowers

queenMab99 · 25/12/2019 08:26

You are being unreasonable for expecting his personality to change at Christmas, and for having unrealistic expectations of a perfect Christmas day. You are not unreasonable to expect some co-operation and help from your partner, but this should be tackled at a less emotional time of year. At a basic level there should be a sort of mutual support system in any partnership. I always ended up overwrought and emotional at Christmas, it was my husband's role to help me in any practical way he could and support me by reminding me that the little details don't matter, and the best memories don't need videoing.

Mintjulia · 25/12/2019 08:29

To be honest op, if he’s that lazy and selfish, you probably won’t be away from your children much at all, because that would require him to make an effort.

willowmelangell · 25/12/2019 08:31

His utter determination to ruin your day gets a LTB from me. What a knob.
Are the dc having fun? Concentrate on them today.
In 12 months time when he is whining .."but why aren't we together?" Tell him straight. "The video you took Christmas day explains it a lot better than I could."
I am another one wondering why you can't use his phone.

Palaver1 · 25/12/2019 08:32

Having a child with additional needs tips everything a little more than it would be without.
Thinking of you
I’m in a similar position but it didn’t get to that stage we are waiting on the court date.
Take care

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