Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To never want to sleep with DH ever again?

91 replies

Anywhere0but0here · 24/12/2019 02:11

I have been up since 1am.

He pulls all the covers on or off me.

His boney knees and elbows jab me.

He wakes 3 to 4 times a night to pee.

He snores.

He 'cuddles' me up and falls asleep right by my back so i'm stuck on one side unable to turn cue shoulder pain next day.

He smells of B.O. and stale booze. The bedding smells after he sleeps on it.

I feel his breath on my shoulder which makes me chilly and uncomfortable.

Bristley beard sharp on my shoulder.

He talks gibberish in his sleep.

He kicks his arms and jerks his knees, moves too much.

He sleeps in the middle instead of leaving the middle to turn sides. I have to tell him to move then he sulks and gives the silent treatment.

Takes up too much duvet leaving me with nothing.

The bed is king size with a superkibg duvet.

I hate sleeping together and the way it messes up my sleep i get so crabby from a shitty night's sleep.

He grabs at my body and gropes calling it cuddling up. I sleep naked because its comfortable not because i want sex.

He puts the heating to 23 degrees.

He normally wakes up with 2 alarms at 4am. I need to get up at 6am for work. He leaves the alarms (radio) on while he snoozes. Its at max volume. Doesnt get up and turn it off, no leaves it blasting away while he fake sleeps.

We've been sleeping in separate rooms and he's back in our bed but i really want to kick him out.

I know he is trying to get close to me but all i want is a big, soap smelling guy wearing clean pjs to share the bed fairly, giving me a good night kiss on my forehead before fucking off to the other side of the bed. A guy who doesnt snore, doesnt talk or get up stumbling in the dark tripping on shit and complaining loudly or switching and leaving lights on. Ideally a guy with an amazing internal body alarm.

AIBU to never want to share a bed with him again?!

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 24/12/2019 02:16

Sleeping with him is the least of it. Why you're with him at all is a complete mystery.

20viona · 24/12/2019 02:16

Sounds like you dislike a lot there, not just down to bed sharing.

Quartz2208 · 24/12/2019 02:17

Yep it sounds over

Josette77 · 24/12/2019 02:18

Why don't you sleep in another room?

mediumbrownmug · 24/12/2019 02:20

OP, you don’t seem to like him very much. Why stay?

user1471449295 · 24/12/2019 02:20

If that was in my bed I’d have to sleep somewhere else

Boulshired · 24/12/2019 02:21

Anything you do like? separate beds work great if you still love each other but enjoy the sleeping part in peace. This does not sound healthy at all.

PointlessUsername · 24/12/2019 02:22

It does not sound asthough you like him much.

TooManyPaws · 24/12/2019 02:22

I read that there's been research that women sleep better with their dogs than with their men...

Just saying.

Anywhere0but0here · 24/12/2019 02:22

Why don't you sleep in another room
I used to but then he said he will sleep there so i left him to it. I dont sleep there tonight because the bedding in the other room smells of him as hes been sleeping there. Im having a cup of tea in the kitchen and have put the bedding in the wash.

OP posts:
PapayaCoconut · 24/12/2019 02:24

We've been sleeping in separate rooms and he's back in our bed but i really want to kick him out.

Can't believe someone is telling you YABU. I would not share a bed with him. I wouldn't even want to live with him. You don't sound like you love or even like him and I don't blame you as he sounds like a selfish, moody sex pest with poor hygiene. Why are you together?

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/12/2019 02:24

I started reading thinking, "aw sounds like poor DH, and grumpy me" then I read about BO, booze and groping, plus sulking...

He doesn't sound very nice and you, understandably, don't sound like you like him.

Anywhere0but0here · 24/12/2019 02:27

I stay because i don't want my young children part time. I can't bear not seeing them everyday. He is also a bit irresponsible i don't trust him enough. I don't have much faith in the strength of my concerns leading to getting 100% custody nor do i want to go through that process to be honest. I'd rather just co parent in the same house but separately.

OP posts:
ForkThis · 24/12/2019 02:27

We have had seperate rooms for about 5 years now. It all started when I lost my shit one night at his snoring, and started screaming like a banshee at about 2am. Blush

I’m actually pretty sure he’s still offended I don’t want to sleep with him 5 years later. Zero fucks given. I will never go back. Our relationship is better for it. I would have killed him by now otherwise in some sort of frenzied sleep deprived breakdown.

MrsTerryPratchett · 24/12/2019 02:30

When you feel that contemptuous loathing, there's no way back. Parenting part time isn't ideal but neither is this. Children need to see healthy relationships. Parents who can't stand the other parent? Not healthy. Parents happily living separately is better than that.

How irresponsible is he?

Anywhere0but0here · 24/12/2019 02:30

ForkThis 😂 so.can.relate!

OP posts:
1forAll74 · 24/12/2019 02:33

He sounds like the worst kind of bed partner. Could he sleep in a tent in the garden, or maybe a shed.?

Purpleartichoke · 24/12/2019 02:41

Well I was going to suggest 2 duvets. It’s a game changer. But you have much bigger issues to deal with than bedding.

Billie87 · 24/12/2019 02:43

Kick him out. It sounds bloody awful. I get you don’t want to separate because of the kids but I feel for you...must be hard xxx

katy1213 · 24/12/2019 02:44

Have you tried telling him straight that he needs a good wash?

WeGoHigher · 24/12/2019 02:45

Why does he stink? Is he 16?

Boulshired · 24/12/2019 02:46

Once you are at this point even his breathing will irritate you, this will not work long term and will not be beneficial to DC.

justilou1 · 24/12/2019 02:52

Since 1930, the United States had defined sleep deprivation as an illegal form of torture. Many other techniques developed by the CIA constitute inhuman and degrading treatment and torture under the United Nations Convention against Torture and Article 3 of the European Convention on Human Rights.

Pixxie7 · 24/12/2019 02:57

From what you say I think your being perfectly reasonable and I think if the truth be known a lot of us feel this way after so many years. The important question is do you still have a healthy sex life?

Skidzer · 24/12/2019 03:02

You don't like him. Permanently banish him to the other room.

Swipe left for the next trending thread