WWYD? AIBU? So confused...
RockinAround · 22/12/2019 23:40
I’ve been married for nearly 20 years. Two DC. All good.
Before I met DH I was in a relationship, living with and briefly engaged to another man (let’s call him John). John and I were childhood friends and were together romantically for 5 years ...he was absolutely my ‘big’ love before I met DH.
Over the years John and I have had sporadic contact. DH aware. Mainly just the odd email or text updating on our lives. John also married and had three DC - marriage ended 3 years ago.
Fast forward to last year. Hadn’t heard from John in 4 years. He texted happy birthday to me which led to a text convo where I found out his marriage was over and he had stage 2 bowel cancer. It was a friendly but functional exchange. I wished him well, no further contact.
In the summer, a mutual friend told me John was ill . Bowel cancer had spread to his liver.
He was also stuck in a vicious court battle with ex wife over access to the children. I was sad for him. Sent a short message saying I hoped he was ok and that was it. He replied thanking me for my concern. Nothing more.
I’ve just had a message from him saying the cancer is now in his lungs and he is in a hospice. He’d like to see me. I would love to see him, too. He was my best childhood friend and my love for 5 years. He was a huge part of my life. I feel so sad to think he might leave the world without seeing him again.
Do I go and see him? Tell DH? Is it wrong or stupid to want to see him, even? I feel so confused.
Am I being unreasonable?AIBU
You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
RockinAround · 22/12/2019 23:52
DH isn’t a jealous or unreasonable person. He is 100% a good guy. I’m sure he would be fine with it.
I guess I am just worried it might seem like a romantic gesture...going to see my furst love one last time. I don’t know. Probably stupid and projecting my mixed feelings because I did massively live this nan and it’s throwing me back to that time in our lives.
I also haven’t shared with DH how sick John is. He knows he has cancer, but I haven’t updated him blow by blow,
Also, stupid Christmas! I’d have to take a day out of our family celebrations to travel and see John. It wouldn’t be a huge issue. I suppose... I just feel torn . Although not really torn, actually, I want to see him.
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.