Surprise gone wrong AIBU

[ShouldIBeMad]

I will try and keep this as brief as possible...

My OH has been saying that he has a surprise for me for the better part of a week now. He said that he has been planning it for the better part of a month. We have a 14 month old DD.

Thursday night I came down with a vomiting bug, literally being sick all through the night. Friday morning still being violently ill, OH tells me that the surprise was that he is going to move us into our new home early. We were meant to pick up the keys on Friday but not move until after Christmas.

OH would have been doing most of the packing as I am working over Christmas and he is off work. He was also going to go and measure up for curtains so we could prepare.

He said his Mum and Sister were coming to help pack it all up, DD was at nursery. I stayed in bed as was still sick and let him get on with it.

Anyway, we get to the new house last night, nothing is unpacked, there are no curtains up anywhere. I couldn’t give a shit at this point, I’m still really ill. I have a bath and go to bed. Our bed isn’t put together so me, DD and OH sleep on a mattress on the floor.

I wake up this morning and things really hit home, we have no curtains in any rooms. The street outside has full view in to our bedroom and living room. OH, his Mum and sister has just thrown any old crap into boxes. So I’ve got a random saucepan lid in with some flour/sugar cupboard bits. He even just unplugged the fridge freezer with everything in it still and brought it over so it all needs cleaning out.

Also still a lot of things still at our old house...

I’m fucking gutted, I feel so weak today. OH says we can go get this stuff from Ikea but I shouldn’t even be out in public as still not 48 hours since last being sick, so I can’t.

When he said he was moving us as a surprise, I thought everything would be done. He seems so angry that I am not eternally grateful for this and is telling me that I am not normal because I am upset.

I don’t want to be unpacking while I am not well but DD keeps trying to get in all the boxes.

AIBU to think if he has been planning this for a month, things should have been done better?

I hope all the posters saying I will look back on this and laugh are right because I am so upset right now.

He’s been and got some curtains, not to my taste but they will do for now.

Going through the boxes of kitchen stuff, I’m finding shit like a nearly empty ketchup bottle and a pack of pasta nearly empty. All stuff I would have used up and got rid of. I’m trying to explain to him that I am upset how things are packed and that moving house is a chance to throw out old stuff while packing. He reckons it’s no more work to pack everything and throw stuff out when you get there.

We are meant to be going to his Mum’s for Christmas dinner but I don’t know if I can now. I just don’t think I can be civil and don’t want to create an atmosphere.

What about the carpets?
The OP said you were waiting til after Christmas
Does that mean sonerine in the new year, when you have just sorted everything will you have to take it ll.out again?

That's not a good suprise, even if you weren't sick it's still a shit suprise.

Had he managed an efficient packing and unpacking system and got the house all lovely for you to wake up to, then maybe it would be ok, but even then I'm not sure.

Moving is stressful, moving with a toddler is stressful, moving less than a week before Christmas is stressful. He's given you the gift of stress.

"Do they trip over their dicks or something? I’ve visions of the man’s dick accidentally knocking over the ornaments, while he dusts or flipping into the sink as he tries desperately to wash the dishes."

Hee hee heee. And watch out for the vacuum cleaner ;)

Who changes the moving day without telling their other half and to 4 days before Christmas?! Pure insanity.

What a spectacularly unhelpful thing he did. I can't even comprehend how upset and overwhelmed you must feel right now.

Is he on drugs OP?

On what planet could anyone imagine this would be a nice surprise 🙄

I hope you feel better soon. 💐

I'm confused. Why unplug the fridge if you're not moving until Christmas? He's being selfish. If you're ill he should be more understanding. Don't know why your I laws would pack so badly. That just adds to the stress of moving. Just let it go and concentrate on getting yourself better. I've got a virus and feel like shit at the moment so you have all my sympathy.
.

He unplugged the fridge with everything still in it?? Come on! How does he function in daily life? No one is that moronic surely?
My dh did this. I went to work. Too pregnant to be much help. He taped the doors shut and chucked it all in his makes van

"Look back and laugh" - he'd be under the bloody patio by now. WTF was he doing for a month, obviously needs some lessons in thinking skills. Don't go to your MiLs, stay at home and rest, have Christmas Day food at New Year instead. Your DD is still too young to know about Christmas.

And for those posters who are saying it came from a good place, well the bar is set very low for them to think this is normal behaviour from someone who is supposed to love and care for you. Your OH is a knobhead.

@cancer1989 what are you smoking?

None of this is OPs fault

going to his Mum’s for Christmas dinner but I don’t know if I can now.

I'm just a stranger on the internet, with no medical knowledge but I have a feeling that you will jot he well enough to honour this Christmas.

Not be well enough to travel to MiL this Christmas.

Okay so he's done a fairly crap job of it but if he had unpacked properly I bet you'd be moaning that he's put everything on the wrong places - I know I would

I'd be much angrier at him rather than your MIL and SIL. If someone asked me to pack up their house week before Christmas for no apparent reason when they could do it themselves the following week, I'd not be doing a professional packing level of service either. Plus the idea was all on him not them.

outing myself as a complete moron What actually is the problem with leaving everything in the fridge if it's not too long between plugging it out in the old place and plugging it in in the new place?

We quite often get power cuts and I've been told if you leave the fridge door closed, the stuff in there will still be fine after a few hours without electricity. What am i missing here?

Oh dear. I imagine in his head it was supposed to be nice but without any thought to the reality of moving without any proper preparation or planning. I'd be totally pissed off too.

I'm not sure what to suggest other than giving him a list of all the things that he now need to do to make the move smoother.

We moved just before Xmas once - dh plopped whole xmas tree complete with decorations in back of van 😅

moving house this close to xmas sounds like hell. I would be mad even at the suggestion as I totally for see this, you cant be moved and set up in a week.

I’d be furious
I’d have just refused

hope your husband's give you a good fuck this Christmas cause you all need to loosen up!!!

Ah. The answer to everything. 🙄

I'd be so upset. Who does moving as a surprise especially this time of year! Plus no curtains or beds made which is the first things you do. Now over Christmas you have to spend time unpacking

Sounds like a rubbish idea - why would you be delighted to move right before Christmas when you're sick. Really annoying they did a rubbish job too.