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AIBU?

To be freaking out about a random poo

98 replies

taxiforme · 20/12/2019 18:04

Arrive back home this afternoon- hubby goes upstairs and starts shouting. Large poo and dark wee in our bathroom toilet. No loo paper in there.

Absolutely certain that neither of us are responsible. I was last to leave today and for certain the loo was clean as I had a quick shower and wee before I left (there is no way I would not use paper or not flush and not notice a poo there).

Nothing has gone or been disturbed, no sign of a break in as far as we can see. I have three step kids who were all at work all day (and the most convenient location if caught short would be the downstairs loo).

The only think is I can think of is that my cleaner called in caught short..but she would have used the downstairs loo also.

I am freaking out here!

Is it possible for poo and wee to just appear or flush back?? Hmm

OP posts:
bonzo77 · 20/12/2019 18:08

It’s possible to do a massive Super Poo that does not flush. The paper may still go down though. The persistent poo then dissolves a bit leaving liquid that looks like dark urine. Delightful. I speak from experience.

CastleCrasher · 20/12/2019 18:10

Yep, what the pp said, it'll be a "lurker" - poo that looks like it flushed but comes back and stains the water

TheDarkPassenger · 20/12/2019 18:16

Well these replies have just made me heave a bit

FlamingoAndJohn · 20/12/2019 18:17

It’s one that flushed but didn’t make it round the u bend.
It’s not a dark wee., it’s where the poo has been sat in the water all day.

Northernsoullover · 20/12/2019 18:19

As others have said its a resurrection. I had a house mate who lived on beans on toast. It happened regularly Envy do I really need to point out that is not envy?

taxiforme · 20/12/2019 18:19

Phew..no loo paper probably gave it away

OP posts:
wheresmymojo · 20/12/2019 18:19

I shouldn't have clicked on this thread while eating....whhhhhhy did I do that? Envy

eggontoast2 · 20/12/2019 18:20

Is this serious? Someone had a massive poo and it didn't flush properly. Why would someone break in just to have a poo?!

666onmyhead · 20/12/2019 18:22

Years ago I discovered the old boy over the road was letting himself into our house all day with the heating on while we were out at work ( he'd been friends with previous owner so had a key) we discovered food missing, thankfully no poos though ... set up a hidden camera somewhere ! You never know, you too may have an unknown daytime lodger.

taxiforme · 20/12/2019 18:23

Nothing would surprise me..

OP posts:
taxiforme · 20/12/2019 18:26

One of our neighbours has a key and their teenage son is going through a troubled time so it did cross my mind it might be him. We do have old plumbing so it's possible it could be a fault (although never happened in 12 years I have lived here)

OP posts:
VivaLeBeaver · 20/12/2019 18:28

My mum broke into my house to do a poo once. And then was furious as I’d run out of loo paper and it was all my fault she had to “walk around with a shitty arse all morning”

I’m NC now!

VivaLeBeaver · 20/12/2019 18:29

666, that’s awful! What did he say when you told he he was rumbled?

Janaih · 20/12/2019 18:32

A resurrection Grin brilliant!

PeterRouseTheFleshofMankind · 20/12/2019 18:32

Yep, it's a poo that hasn't flushed round the bend and has come back and made poo tea.

SnorkMaiden81 · 20/12/2019 18:33

We found a phantom poo in the work's toilet one morning.
Wouldn't flush.....in the end the assistant manager had to go in and chop it up with a knife.

PeterRouseTheFleshofMankind · 20/12/2019 18:33

One of our neighbours has a key and their teenage son is going through a troubled time so it did cross my mind it might be him.

What, the neighbour or the son? Why would he come round to yours just to take a shit?

GorkyMcPorky · 20/12/2019 18:34

poo tea 😁🤢

BeverlyGoldbergsHairAndJumpers · 20/12/2019 18:35

Poo tea Grin

VisionQuest · 20/12/2019 18:35

What did the poo look like though? You can tell if it's one that's tried but failed to get around the u bend because they look dishevelled (I really can't think of another way to describe it)

Whereas a poo that's just been sitting there looks more pristine. How long was the poo there for?

Sorry I do have experience of this. My husband has been known to poo and run (not flush) and also attempt to flush but it resurfaced.

GorkyMcPorky · 20/12/2019 18:35

What's that Carol Ann Duffy poem about the bored teen who breaks in just for something to do?

SilverOtter · 20/12/2019 18:45

Omg this thread is making me laugh so muchXmas Grin

Scrumptiousbears · 20/12/2019 18:53

We had random poo's in both our houses. I never got to the bottom of it but I blamed the estate agents getting caught short and popping in.

recrudescence · 20/12/2019 18:57

What's that Carol Ann Duffy poem about the bored teen who breaks in just for something to do

‘Stealing’ - but taking a shit isn’t one of the activities described in the poem.

ManualFlusherSnot · 20/12/2019 18:58

its a resurrection
Pissing myself laughing at this Grin

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