To be freaking out about a random poo

[taxiforme]

Arrive back home this afternoon- hubby goes upstairs and starts shouting. Large poo and dark wee in our bathroom toilet. No loo paper in there.

Absolutely certain that neither of us are responsible. I was last to leave today and for certain the loo was clean as I had a quick shower and wee before I left (there is no way I would not use paper or not flush and not notice a poo there).

Nothing has gone or been disturbed, no sign of a break in as far as we can see. I have three step kids who were all at work all day (and the most convenient location if caught short would be the downstairs loo).

The only think is I can think of is that my cleaner called in caught short..but she would have used the downstairs loo also.

I am freaking out here!

Is it possible for poo and wee to just appear or flush back??

Fucking hell @VisionQuest ‘disheveled ‘ really made me giggle.

The key word was "large", modern loos are even less inclined to launched the contents into the sewer system as they have water saving devices. You may have a partial problem with your system, but these things do happen. I think more fruit and fibre should be added to the familt diet though.

Bill
hubby goes upstairs and starts shouting in his best Shakespearean voice
Is this a dragger I see before mine eyes
The toilet handle before my hand? Come let me flush thee...
I have, and yet still I see thee... tbc

In my house, we refer to this as “a lavatory Lazarus”.

@Paperback. 🤣🤣. Brilliant!

Why would anyone start a thread about this.

There’s always a point in a thread where it stops being silly. A poem or song pastiche and posters “pmsl” or “spitting tea over their keyboard” are all good signs of this happening.

God, that was joyless. Ignore me, I’ve been grumpy all day.

A Christmas poo!

Ooh you had a lodger OP.

Is it possible one of the stepchildren had an illicit overnight guest who remained concealed until the coast was clear - and used the facilities on the way out? (I'm assuming late teens or adults, as you said they were out at work all day)

Well it was fuckin one of yas!

It must be a shock to see a big honking jobbie winking at you. Probably a night watchman. Or a cutty sark

That’s called an air biscuit in our house. 🍪

@MrsRipper all hail the jobbie! I think that is one of my favourite words

@covetingthepreciousthings I'm really trying to remember, but they found out it was someone living in the attic space next door, that came through an adjoining door. I'll go look through classics.

Do you have a cat?
Cat poo tends to float rather than flush.
(and same impact as human poo on maikg the water look like dark urine)

Well it was fuckin one of yas!

Scrimshaw

LOL1

@GiGi18 DESGUSTING!

That explains something. Why have I never heard of resurrections before?