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To be freaking out about a random poo

98 replies

taxiforme · 20/12/2019 18:04

Arrive back home this afternoon- hubby goes upstairs and starts shouting. Large poo and dark wee in our bathroom toilet. No loo paper in there.

Absolutely certain that neither of us are responsible. I was last to leave today and for certain the loo was clean as I had a quick shower and wee before I left (there is no way I would not use paper or not flush and not notice a poo there).

Nothing has gone or been disturbed, no sign of a break in as far as we can see. I have three step kids who were all at work all day (and the most convenient location if caught short would be the downstairs loo).

The only think is I can think of is that my cleaner called in caught short..but she would have used the downstairs loo also.

I am freaking out here!

Is it possible for poo and wee to just appear or flush back?? Hmm

OP posts:
Drum2018 · 20/12/2019 20:34

While it's possible that it's one you or Dh did - can either of you recall if you did one this morning - I certainly wouldn't rule out the teen. I'd be getting that key back or better still change the lock. If that teen sees you are all out, knows your house key is in his house, he could well go in for a nose around (and a shit) just to be even more troublesome.

mindproject · 20/12/2019 20:35

There was a poo floating in our pool on holiday once, way back in 1990. We never found out who did it and it remains a mystery to this day. Sometime there's no getting to the bottom of it.

sunshiney78 · 20/12/2019 20:39

There was an old post exactly like this. Turns out there was a person living in the loft.

cabbageking · 20/12/2019 20:47

Sorry I should have flushed.
I used the towel as there was no paper.

BangersNmashNgravy · 20/12/2019 21:00

If putting a face to the poo will help you sleep better get said exhibit A DNA tested. If it was a burglar they’ll be hoisted by their own peturd.

Rubyupbeat · 20/12/2019 21:20

Definitely a ubend lurker....

BalloonSlayer · 20/12/2019 21:22

I love it that your husband saw it "and started shouting."

I am imagining him like The Parkie from Viz, bellowing in rage: "A shite! A shite in my bogs!" whilst brandishing the offending turd.

Topseyt · 20/12/2019 21:23

Ah, so a phantom shitter used your shitter and left it to make poo tea.

A good poo thread.

GorgonzolaTombola · 20/12/2019 21:26

Sometime there's no getting to the bottom of it.

So to speak.

MistyMinge2 · 20/12/2019 21:32

Crying with laughter at this thread.

Most likely explanation is a poo resurrection resulting in poo tea 💩

Permanantlypuzzled · 20/12/2019 21:38

‘‘Twas the shite before Christmas
That stunk through the house
Not a creature survived it
no bedbug or louse.

SpicyRibs · 20/12/2019 21:45

Mr Hankey the Christmas Poo? Xmas Grin

sarahjconnor · 20/12/2019 21:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CoolcoolcoolcoolcoolNoDoubt · 20/12/2019 21:56

I’m dying at this thread, absolutely hilarious 😂 poo jokes will always make me howl as my sense of humour is stunted, at age five years.

Unusualusernames · 20/12/2019 22:01

Unrelated but someone once broke into my granny's house , did a poo on the kitchen floor, placed a piece of kitchen roll on top of it and left without stealing anything 😬

Thistimetomorrow · 20/12/2019 22:02

Great title for a book.
Room with a Poo.

BillHadersNewWife · 20/12/2019 22:05

hubby goes upstairs and starts shouting

Does he usually shout when he sees a poo?

Pjsandbaileys · 20/12/2019 22:07

Lol it's a ghost poop slides back round when you are out and dyes the water!!

DingDongSchadenfreudeOnHigh · 20/12/2019 22:08

You’ve been visited by Mr Hankey OP, a truly blessed Christmas indeed

Excellent! Xmas Grin

DingDongSchadenfreudeOnHigh · 20/12/2019 22:09


Poet Laureate in the making, I think!


Onwardsagain · 20/12/2019 22:15


Poo tea



Topseyt · 20/12/2019 22:16

Perhaps the MN poo troll visited your house while you were out.


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ScrimshawTheSecond · 20/12/2019 22:18

It's like that Stephen King movie.

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Jobby.

DrierThanANunsNasty · 20/12/2019 22:25

I just love that your DH started shouting about the poo. Maybe he did it and was so proud of his creation he just wanted you to see?

dishevelledpootea · 20/12/2019 22:31

"But the poop came back, the very next day, the poop came, he thought it was a gone-er, but the poop came back, it just couldn't stay awayyyyyy"

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