To feel so annoyed regarding Xmas party?

[Lookingatablankscreen]

My husband is currently getting ready for his, and I know as soon as 12pm comes around he will crack open a beer in celebration of the end of the working year before he heads to the works do at the pub for a meal and drinks, which may I add I'll be doing the dropping him off and then collecting him in the late hours, both a 1 hour round trip and with the children in tow.
Now I don't begrudge him this at all, i know he works hard to bring in the money and I can't exactly stop him going nor would I, but my god, how do I get into any sort of Christmas spirit when my life is the same routine day in day out, during the night even with the baby waking it's me doing that too.

Every day is the same.

I just can't get into any Christmas spirit, we have no Xmas tree or decorations up this year and if I'm honest I feel so envious that I have no one to be around tonight apart from the children that I just feel so angry at my husband going out and leaving me behind to be lonely and on my own!

So AIBU to feel like this?

Why are you dragging the kids out late at night? Tell him to get a taxi.

Do not pick him up.he can get a taxi.

You are mad to drag your dc out to collect him
Stop right now.
Let him find his own way to and from. He is a grown up !!
Go with your dc to buy a tree and decs.

Have you told him how you feel?

OP what is the reason you haven’t got any decorations up, and that you haven’t done anything Christmassy, even going to see some Xmas lights? Is it money, or having the time/inclination after looking after the children and household? (Both good reasons...)

Can you organise a night out with some friends. Life is very hard with little ones. Mine are 6&7 now, and it's only now I feel like I'm starting to get my life back. Tell your dh he's in charge and do something you want to do for yourself!?

Don't pick him up, that's crazy. Taxi home.
YABU to resent him going to a christmas party.

Why don't you have any decorations up? Head into town and pick up some cheap decorations, wilko or b&m do a cheap fake tree.
Put some xmas music on and get your kids involved in decorating.

Definitely don’t take the kids out to pick him up! Who on earth does that or expects it?

Well, if today - Friday 20th December - is the "end of his working year,' then he has tomorrow (OK, write off tomorrow, he'll be hungover), Sunday, Monday and Tuesday to sort out a Christmas tree and decorations, which he can do with the kids, leaving you with a bit of free time to relax .... he can buy you a nice Christmas present too while he's at it.

Could you get yourself a job outside the home so you can go to a Christmas do next year?

Why don't you have tree/decs?

Why haven’t you got Xmas decorations? If he can afford nights out then you can afford a cheap tree and some Poundland baubles. And while he may deserve a night out after his working year you should defo not be dragging your kids out in the early hours to pick him up

I feel sorry for your children. Their Dad can go out drinking but can't put up decorations for them.
Are you feeling low or depressed OP?

What's happened that you have no tree?

I think it’s not that they can’t afford decks/tree it’s that op is feeling a bit dragged down by everything? Being a sahm is bloody hard especially if your partner isn’t around much to ease the load. I sympathise op, but I would be telling him to make other arrangements to get home, that’s not fair to the kids or you.

Thanks for the replies,
Yes I understand I'm BU to resent the Xmas party.
I am very low at the moment, I am under the community care team for Psychiatric problems things got quite bad the other day and I saw the psychiatrist who said I seem to be in a dissociated state due to stress so yes, this is why I haven't put the tree up, as I'm very down at the moment only barely functioning to keep up all fed/cleaned/dressed etc.

He does know how I feel however I can't bring it up about the Christmas party as then it will seem like I am guilt tripping him not to go, but his answer is to take to me out next week for my birthday instead so I will just leave it at that.

Yes, I should ask him to get the tree and decoration out so I can do that tonight with the children so I can pass some time.

Are you seriously getting two kids out of bed to go and pick up a drunk man from his party? Surely if it's a half an hour journey at night he can get a taxi?

It sounds like you never get a break. Will he not help with night feeds when he is on holiday? Can he have the kids while you go out with some friends?

That sounds tough op, I hope the care you’re getting helps and that your dh is understanding, please take care of yourself

Why isn't he getting a taxi home? You are being ridiculous dragging your children out of bed at that hour. And if he's expecting you to do that, he's being ridiculous too. Poor kids.

Does he not do his share of jobs around the house?

You do sound worn out.

Stop telling the OP to just go and get a tree/decorations!

OP, if he wants the Christmas stuff he can bloody well do it. Why does he need asking? I assume he's a competent adult and understands your health issues?

And obviously he can get a taxi home.

Why can't he get a taxi?

I agree with the others. It is not normal to drag your children out of bed to collect their dad from his Christmas party. He needs to get himself home.

I also agree that you should ask him to get the decorations out today so you can put them up if you want to.

Get the tree up, Christmas songs on while you're doing it, Christmas film and a snacky tea tonight.

It might not help you massively seeing the kids excited may make a difference.

So, I've been stable for over a year now with no depressive episodes but something recently has triggered me, not sure what exactly but I just feel like a slave to this household.

My children are young, nearly 1 and nearly 4! But they are nice kids, just hard with the nearly 4 year olds attitude at the moment but I guess we all go through that.

I do all the cleaning during the day, which is fine as I am home and we are making the mess. He will chip in if needed at other times, but yes I do need to ask.

In terms of cooking, I do all of that as he can't cook so I do it all, which is a pain as baby and pre schooler need
Feeding between 4 and 5, I have to cook myself something before 6, and then he needs something around6.30 when home from work, so I guess I'm just feeling a bit tired of the same thing day in day out.

Our baby doesn't feed In the night anymore but he does stir and wake make nights and needs to be settled.

I think I just feel extremely overworked for no actual salary and just unappreciated.

He does understand my health struggles he notices before I do when I'm getting down but nothing would come between him and his work do, so I don't want to say anything.

Well I wouldn't be collecting him but I'd tell him to go and get the decorations out. It's hard when the kids are young and very monotonous but it won't be like this forever

I hope you get the help you need OP.