To feel so annoyed regarding Xmas party?

[Lookingatablankscreen]

My husband is currently getting ready for his, and I know as soon as 12pm comes around he will crack open a beer in celebration of the end of the working year before he heads to the works do at the pub for a meal and drinks, which may I add I'll be doing the dropping him off and then collecting him in the late hours, both a 1 hour round trip and with the children in tow.
Now I don't begrudge him this at all, i know he works hard to bring in the money and I can't exactly stop him going nor would I, but my god, how do I get into any sort of Christmas spirit when my life is the same routine day in day out, during the night even with the baby waking it's me doing that too.

Every day is the same.

I just can't get into any Christmas spirit, we have no Xmas tree or decorations up this year and if I'm honest I feel so envious that I have no one to be around tonight apart from the children that I just feel so angry at my husband going out and leaving me behind to be lonely and on my own!

So AIBU to feel like this?

In terms of cooking, I do all of that as he can't cook so I do it all, which is a pain as baby and pre schooler need
Feeding between 4 and 5, I have to cook myself something before 6, and then he needs something around6.30 when home from work, so I guess I'm just feeling a bit tired of the same thing day in day out.
Why can’t you all eat at 6.30 ?

you're a SAHM. Put a tree and some decorations up if you want them. Drop your DH or not, tell him to get his own way home. I don't see the link between the two and any MH issues you have.

You and your husband are in one of the busiest times of your life with two very young kids. Only he isn’t doing anything to raise these kids. You are. He’s working but he can’t use that as an excuse to leave you to do the kids all day and night. He is a parent. I hope you can have a chat with him. If not sadly it might be easier to leave him. He’s not helping you and this is a painful time. Of course you won’t want to do any Christmas stuff you’re depressed and your husband expects you to keep running around after him and raise the kids unaided unfunded and lonely, or in your own. I’m sorry op that’s hard. Maybe look into alternatives for you and the little ones. You are already doing life with them without him, but you’re currently just running around after him on top of raising the two kids. It’s time to think of just you and the kids I think.

Dont cook 3 meals.. you and dc eat at 5 . Dh has something else. Or snacks for dc then a meal altogether at 6 30 or let dh cook and you eat at 7 30 with him
Or you and dc eat beans on toast. Or pasta. Something quick and simple.
If dh wants full meal he cooks when he gets home.

Hi OP, I couldnt read and run.

First off yep your feeling really low but and this is the big thing you need to communicate to him. Does he know how you feel at the moment?. He can get a taxi home as you shouldn't be taking the little ones out late.
The next point is this is a hard time of the year as everyone expects you to be happy and full of joy.
It sounds like you do need some time to yourself , can your husband take the children for the day either tomorrow or sunday? So you can maybe pamper yourself have a lovely long soak.

Depression is one horrible condition but you can beat it. You have sought out help.

On a small side note for the children and you may find it will help you. Get those Christmas decorations up. Picture the children's faces light up with joy.

When I was at my lowest seeing my daughter laugh or smile really helped.

Good luck

The driving and collecting may be a financial thing. When we lived on one income we never ever got a taxi anywhere. But my DH would never have asked me to collect him from anywhere after kids bedtime. He w would take a car and stay sober which is another suggestion.
re the meals, just cook once and eat with the kids. DH can heat his portion up later. I could never understand people doing several meals in the evening. In fact, my husband used to get a decent lunch each day and just have a sandwich in the eve but his work had a canteen.
Hope you feel better soon OP. I do remember the days where every day seemed like an endless repeat of the day before. It was very demoralising but it does get better (until you have teenagers on your hands!!)

He needs to get a taxi home. And get him to get the decs out so you can have a kids doing the tree moment, with Xmas music then a Xmas film. You need regular, scheduled, adult time outs from the daily grind. Even if it's just a walk to a cafe for a coffee or meeting a friend or relative. Sit down & tell him this, he gets his adult time so it's only fair he should step up & look after them for a couple of hours for you to get your breathing space too .

You need more than your husband, kids and menial, unpaid work in your life. If I were you I would be getting a job and next Christmas I would be going to my own work Christmas do.

Jesus. You sound sensitive. Let's hope the OP's current hard time can get you that first. She hasn't got it in her to put her Christmas tree up but so long as she completes your research. 😯

OP lots of love to you. I don't know what the right answer is to your current situation, but this too shall pass.

I imagine researcher intended to start their own thread!

I sympathise OP, for various reasons I’ve been feeling overwhelmed by Christmas this year. I finally got my tree up this afternoon, while I put some Xmas music on (“Merry Xmas Baby” by Rod Stewart) and poured some Baileys. I started out feeling about as Christmassy as the grinch, very grumpy, but by the time the lights were twinkling and it looked pretty I was feeling a lot better and more in control. I’ll tweak it a bit tomorrow, but basically it’s done now and I feel so much better.

If you can face it give it a try, it might work for you? If not, get the kids off to bed, put your feet up and relax. That’s doing something constructive too! 💐