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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Really scared as neighbour knocking on the door at this time

195 replies

Sinead777 · 19/12/2019 22:19

I’ve recently moved into a new house. My partner is currently abroad with work so it’s just me in the house. I was just having a really relaxing bath, reading a good book, when I heard a loud banging on the downstairs door. Assuming it’s a neighbour (we live in a quiet cul de sac and not sure who else it’s likely to be), but anyway I obviously just ignored as in the bath but he continued knocking. It’s left me really scared/jumpy, sorry to be a dramatic woman making an issue out of what is probably nothing, but isn’t it a bit late to be knocking on people’s doors? Our front door has a large glass panel in it so even if you are on the upstairs landing someone on the door could see you, so I literally don’t even want to come out of the bathroom. Would anyone else find this odd or have I been watching too many programmes about serial killers lol

OP posts:
beautifulstranger101 · 20/12/2019 19:29

I do have the training how to manual handle someone from floor to seating Thats great, but the average person doesnt so advising others to do it is frankly, dangerous.

And there IS a middle ground between unsafely lifting someone off the floor and telling someone it "isn't your problem". You can sit with the person until the paramedics arrive. You can put a blanket over them, make them comfy and reassure them and comfort them.

But of course, I'm realising that on MN there is no middle ground, its either doing everything for your neighbours (including risking your own back health) or telling them to fck off. There is NOTHING in between!

TrainspottingWelsh · 20/12/2019 20:45

What the hell has being middle class got to do with anything? Is it supposedly a working and upper class thing to be scared because someone knocked on your door?

If class has anything to do with it at all, it's more likely that the unique mn interpretation of middle class are the group that have a breakdown because they heard a knock. 'Oh, I'm such a delicate mc flower I can't possibly look out and then make a rational decision about whether to open the door. I'll just do my incapable female routine instead'

lowlandLucky · 20/12/2019 21:20

Maybe your house is on fire and they are trying to attract your attention !

wellthatwasthat · 20/12/2019 21:55

@LakieLady I rang the fire brigade and they turned up - what with the siren and the flashing blue lights and the enormous glittering fire engine on their drive - that got the neighbour to answer the door all right!

Honestly, you'd think that someone ringing your bell, banging on the door and then the front window, and shouting "FIRE!!" through their letterbox would have done the trick wouldn't you? Stupid gits.

I've never actually spoken to that particular neighbour, they are about 100 yards up the road from me.

ArloRoo01 · 20/12/2019 22:41

There's something to be said for gut instinct, I wouldn't have answered door either.

MinervaSaidThar · 20/12/2019 23:14

I live just down the road from where Levi Bellfield ran down a young girl. And I was burgled recently, the burglar climbed our 6 foot wall and broke in by the kitchen window.

It’s impossible not to be wary after things like that. I always open the window a crack now instead of opening the door if I don’t know who is ringing the bell or if I’m not expecting a delivery.

Aridane · 21/12/2019 04:05

Being terrified of a knock on the door is a grossly disproportionate response. Either get psychological help for anxiety or do someth8ng practical (eg video entry)

woodchuck99 · 21/12/2019 11:47

Being terrified of a knock on the door is a grossly disproportionate response.

I think that depends on where OP lives. It would be totally sensible to be scared by a late evening knock at the door in some parts of the country unfortunately.

Aridane · 21/12/2019 12:39

OP lives in a quiet residential cul de sac, not downtown Damascus!

fllinn · 21/12/2019 12:46

I get scared so I have cameras at the front and back of the house. I get a notification before people even knock on the front door. Mine is an anxiety management technique as much as for security/safety - and I highly recommend the same to other people who get anxious about this like this.

sandragreen · 21/12/2019 12:53

No way on earth would I answer my door in that situation OP.

It may not be late to some, but I would usually be fast asleep in bed by then. I wouldn't be scared but I certainly wouldn't get out of bed to answer it.

woodchuck99 · 21/12/2019 12:57

OP lives in a quiet residential cul de sac, not downtown Damascus!

Burglaries happen in quiet residential areas. Just because it's quiet, it doesn't mean there isn't any crime.

wildchild554 · 21/12/2019 17:29

Might be an emergency, I've had to do this when I realized I had an intruder after just getting in and putting kids to bed, realised my loft hatch was open, immeadiately dragging them out of bed, they were very young and to my neighbours in pjs, coats and wellies, it was about 8pm and hammered on the door till someone opened, if they hadn't of opened the door or I hadn't have spotted something amiss, I don't know what I would have done and then sat inside for 4 hours whilst we waited for police to turn up and make my house secure. If you know it's your neighbour and normally feel fine with them I'd answer it. If your unsure I'd speak through the letter box and if they need help and still concerned to open the door you could offer to call police etc for them and keep door locked.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 21/12/2019 18:05

Somebody knocked on your door and you react like this?!? Geez Louise!!!

Toomuchtrouble4me · 21/12/2019 18:06

It only 10.20! Delivery drivers are still knocking here at that time.

Everydayishistorytomorrow · 21/12/2019 18:21

I never answer my front door unless it's my neighbours who have a secret knock or ring pattern. So many times it's been doorstep seller (yes in the middle of nowhere), JW, or other charity fundraisers. YANBU. I do understand it could have been an emergency for a neighbour. I thing 'how' the door was knocked would guide me to what action to take. Just shouting 'who is it' works wonders. Then you don't need to answer the door. Never give away that you are alone though, always use the plural.

Twisique · 21/12/2019 18:30

If it was important they would put a note threw the door.

Getoffmylilo · 21/12/2019 18:42

No one answers their doors after dark where we are, unless expecting a takeaway/delivery. We've got Arlo cameras (window position means we could direct it at the front door step), next door neighbour has a video ring doorbell thing. High crime area.

manicmij · 21/12/2019 19:10

Have I missed it? If you are in a bathroom which usually has no big glass panels for viewing how do you know it's your neighbour at the door?

MyHeartIsInCornwall · 21/12/2019 19:13

I have a ring doorbell. Best thing I've invested in for our house, in a long time! Our front door is on the side of our house and lower down than the road, so it’s obscured. We’ve had things stolen from the garden, like the kids scooters (lock them away now of course). But for peace of mind, it’s been the best thing. I’ve communicated with many a delivery driver to ask them to throw my parcel over my side gate 😆

I wouldn’t have answered my door at 22:30 unless I was expecting a delivery, either. Couldn’t care less if anyone thinks that’s odd. I have 3 children and my husband works shifts, and after some aggressive encounters with charity doorsteppers and door-to-door sales people, I am glad I have the ring doorbell. Why put yourself at any sort of risk, if you don’t have to? It’s your prerogative.

myohmywhatawonderfulday · 21/12/2019 19:28

I would not open the door at that time.

Mezzamay · 21/12/2019 19:38

I don’t understand this fear of answering the door ?? Is it a modern phenomenon?? I see it as another worrying signal as to how socially disconnected we are when it comes to interacting with people anywhere other than Facebook/online. I’m amazed that some people at my work never answer their doors when someone is knocking. I find that so weird. Anyway, someone banged on my door at 3am in the morning a few months ago... I spoke to the person through my upstairs bedroom window. It was very fortunate that I didn’t ignore him because it was a very nice young Doctor who had just finished his shift at St Thomas’s hospital in London and had found my 18 year old son unconscious by the side of the road... (he wasn’t even living at home at the time). The doctor had found his driving license in my sons wallet and had come to my home to let me know that they’d called an ambulance. So I would be far more afraid to not answer the door.

mathanxiety · 21/12/2019 19:49

Agree with Ariadne and Mezzamay.

Your environment is only as scary as you allow it to be.

AllergicToAMop · 21/12/2019 19:52

I wouldn’t have answered my door at 22:30 unless I was expecting a delivery, either.

So you ignore the ring bell after certain time?

littlealexhorne · 21/12/2019 20:00

I'm suprised so many are recommending ring doorbells after everything thats come out about them recently