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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Really scared as neighbour knocking on the door at this time

195 replies

Sinead777 · 19/12/2019 22:19

I’ve recently moved into a new house. My partner is currently abroad with work so it’s just me in the house. I was just having a really relaxing bath, reading a good book, when I heard a loud banging on the downstairs door. Assuming it’s a neighbour (we live in a quiet cul de sac and not sure who else it’s likely to be), but anyway I obviously just ignored as in the bath but he continued knocking. It’s left me really scared/jumpy, sorry to be a dramatic woman making an issue out of what is probably nothing, but isn’t it a bit late to be knocking on people’s doors? Our front door has a large glass panel in it so even if you are on the upstairs landing someone on the door could see you, so I literally don’t even want to come out of the bathroom. Would anyone else find this odd or have I been watching too many programmes about serial killers lol

OP posts:

furrymulesandPJs · 20/12/2019 02:21

I would tend to think that if a neighbour was really in trouble and needed help they would shout through the letterbox though?

ItsAHardKn0ckLife1 · 20/12/2019 02:27

If you’ve recently moved there, it’s possibly someone looking for the previous occupiers?

Bowerbird5 · 20/12/2019 02:33

I have a DH that works away for weeks at a time. I once had a loud rap at the door and as the kitchen door is glass I could see it was two policemen. By the time I got the key and unlocked the door I apparently was white as a sheet. They apologised when I explained DH had left for a flight that day.They were lost! I said next time don't both come to the door. I thought they had come to tell me the helicopter had ditched. I had a strong cup of tea after I directed them to the address they were after. It was about 10.30pm too.
I think you were wise not to go. You've just moved in. You might get some of the previous owners friends.

isabellerossignol · 20/12/2019 02:33

I would tend to think that if a neighbour was really in trouble and needed help they would shout through the letterbox though?

Depends if you have a letterbox. I have one but loads of houses round me don't, they have one of those boxes on the wall outside instead. My friend's house looks like it has a letterbox, but it's fake and doesn't open.

No one is obliged to open their door, but I do think being terrified is a pretty over the top reaction. Someone who means you harm is not all that likely to knock, unless it's a burglar trying to check if the house is empty. In which case pretending that it is is probably the worst thing to do.

furrymulesandPJs · 20/12/2019 02:38

Isabellarossignol

I do think being terrified is a pretty over the top reaction

Maybe, but we don't know OP's history. I know with me its CPTSD and generalised anxiety symptoms that cause me to find this kind of thing scary. Over the top maybe, but I prefer to feel safe in my home at whatever cost.

furrymulesandPJs · 20/12/2019 02:41

I did open the door to someone late at night (midnightish) out of such terror I dare NOT open it and it turned out to be a harmless person- a young man who was in tears because his girlfriend has walked away and didn't know where she had gone. "Did you see which direction she went in?" he asked me.... was heartbreaking to see him so sad. I told him I hoped it got sorted out. Poor boy.

DonutMan · 20/12/2019 02:42

When I lived in London, I had a rounders bat propped in the corner by the door. If somebody tried to break the (fairly robust) chain and get in I'd have clobbered them the second they got the door fully open - there were a fair few odd people about at night.

nowaypose · 20/12/2019 05:08

This has happened to me twice. Once at around 2am I heard a thudding on the front door which woke me up, I was absolutely terrified. I peered out of the upstairs window to see a couple whose car had got stuck in the snow outside my house. I think they thought I was awake because I always left my hallway light on.

Second time happened a few weeks ago at around 11pm when DH and I were just getting bed. DH answered, it was a takeaway delivery guy who had got the wrong address.

Things like this usually have an innocuous reason, I wouldn’t get worried about it.

Obligatorync · 20/12/2019 05:28

I've said this before but once in the middle of the night I desperately needed help and none of my bloody neighbours answered their doors!
To be fair, I understand why, but I wouldn't wish that feeling on my worst enemy.

Countryescape · 20/12/2019 05:46

I hope you never need urgent help at 10pm at night OP. If I ever knocked on a neighbours door that late it would be a matter of life or death. You should have answered

WatchingTheMoon · 20/12/2019 05:49

country if you needed help, you'd shout surely?

As a woman alone in the house, like fuck would I answer the door at 10.30 at night. There was a spate of rapes in my area where the guy was knocking on the door then forcing his way in when a woman answered. No thanks.

TreeSwayer · 20/12/2019 06:22

We have a Ring Doorbell which is fantastic for seeing who is at your door even if you are in bed.

Also if you are ordering from Amazon install the Amazon App on your phone, it will tell you when your parcel is 8 stops away, shows you on the map exactly where the delivery driver is. It keeps counting down the stops until you are next.

The Ring doorbell has the facility to view live footage so you can see the person approaching your door before they ring.

It records on movement NOT just when they press the doorbell, you can set it to alert your phone for movement although mine isn't as we have a lot of cats in the area and at night foxes.

nestisflown · 20/12/2019 06:31

I wouldn't open the door. Which makes me sad if it was an actual emergency.

But I've been followed by a man with a knife to my house. I had to pretend to lose my keys (I also stood outside my neighbours house incase he decided to take my bag to get the keys), as I knew I was home alone. Very fortunately, after a few minutes a passer by walked past and I was able to shout out for help. Another time I got chased home from the station by a crazy man but luckily my brother was home, and the chaser ran away once he heard my brother's voice after I'd called out in panic. I actually shudder to think what these men's intentions were and why they were so keen to get me- a defenceless young woman - home alone.

The way I see it : worst case scenario is that the late night knocker is a burglar or rapist. It's better to open the door for a burglar to let them know someone's home. It's terrible to open the door for a rapist. I'd rather be burgled than raped in my own home so I'm not opening any doors to someone I don't know once it's dark.

nestisflown · 20/12/2019 06:34

Also for me my husband travels a lot with work, and anyone watching my movements would know I'm home alone with just 2 young children often. Various (lovely) neighbours have commented on this to offer help with childcare, even though I've not told them that I'm home alone... so I know if someone was scouting the neighbourhood for a rape victim, I might make the cut.

Gardai · 20/12/2019 07:15

There are plenty of women who live without OH’s and manage to work out the door scenario. Get a ring or a cheap intercom doorbell.
It’s like going back in time reading this thread.

You don’t have to answer the door if you don’t want and you can look out a window to check.

Ocomeocomeimaginaryfleas · 20/12/2019 07:16

I wouldn’t worry about it. Realistically even if someone needed help you were in the bath, what could you do? Ask the neighbours this morning if they heard anything.

Bouledeneige · 20/12/2019 07:32

I've lived alone with my kids (when they are nit at their Dads) for 12 years and never had someone bang on my door late at night. I probably would not open it but I wouldn't be terrified.

However I would get the glass changed in my door to opaque. I wouldn't want people seeing in.

Lampan · 20/12/2019 07:34

My neighbour recently went round knocking on doors in the middle of the night as another elderly neighbour had fallen and his wife couldn’t get him up. There are lots of innocent reasons for a knock on the door late at night.
I have a camera very visible in my front window and if I’m not sure who is at the door I hail them from an upstairs window. (on a different note, if it’s ever these dodgy types saying it looks like there’s a problem with my roof/driveway etc I just claim the house is rented, it’s not but it seems to get rid of them!)

Ffsnosexallowed · 20/12/2019 07:36

Thankfully mil's neighbour answered her door when mil knocked frantically at 2am because there was a fire. Yabu

easyandy101 · 20/12/2019 07:41

Late at night there were random knocks on my door and i went and looked but there was no one there, a bit later there was more weird knocking and when i opened the door a tiny naked woman slipped inside and had a massive psychotic episode in my flat

flouncyfanny · 20/12/2019 07:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Spacerader · 20/12/2019 07:48

I find it a bit extreme when people get so worked up that someone knocked their door. And I'm not a door answerer. Just quietly ignore it and get on with your life. If your door was unlocked (like you suggested as you said your mum would just walk in) then anyone wanting to just come into your house surely would have tried your door after no answer.

Mn are always so extreme, there is no need to get a ring door bell or change your door. I think you will be ok

bohemia14 · 20/12/2019 07:49

A neighbour's child knocked on my door at night once because his father was beating his mother......

I honestly don't get why so many people won't answer their doors. Late at night maybe, but I've read on Mumsnet about people who don't answer their doors at 7.30pm. It could be someone who needs help, or something important.

OrangeSwoosh · 20/12/2019 07:59

lost cat

Excuse me miss, please could I have a saucer of milk? I'm terribly thirsty and can't find my way home

TheCoolerQueen · 20/12/2019 08:01

A friend of mine went for a Christmas night out, got exceedingly drunk, went home and banged on the door to be let in.
Problem was he didn't live there any more, he'd moved house some months previously
If you've not lived there very long maybe it's a similar situation?

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