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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Really scared as neighbour knocking on the door at this time

195 replies

Sinead777 · 19/12/2019 22:19

I’ve recently moved into a new house. My partner is currently abroad with work so it’s just me in the house. I was just having a really relaxing bath, reading a good book, when I heard a loud banging on the downstairs door. Assuming it’s a neighbour (we live in a quiet cul de sac and not sure who else it’s likely to be), but anyway I obviously just ignored as in the bath but he continued knocking. It’s left me really scared/jumpy, sorry to be a dramatic woman making an issue out of what is probably nothing, but isn’t it a bit late to be knocking on people’s doors? Our front door has a large glass panel in it so even if you are on the upstairs landing someone on the door could see you, so I literally don’t even want to come out of the bathroom. Would anyone else find this odd or have I been watching too many programmes about serial killers lol

OP posts:
Keepmewarm · 20/12/2019 08:10

I would assume that something was wrong.

TildaTurnip · 20/12/2019 09:16

Mn are always so extreme, there is no need to get a ring door bell or change your door

How is it extreme to not want to be seen from the front door when on your upstairs landing?

JKScot4 · 20/12/2019 14:29

Honestly what a bunch of paranoid loons on here. 10.30 is not late at night, you’re all adults ffs answer the door/phone whatever or call out who is there?
Actually embarrassing how women are carrying on 🙄

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 20/12/2019 14:34

Actually embarrassing how women are carrying on think its more embarrassing the naivety of middle classers

TheReluctantCountess · 20/12/2019 14:50

I guess we’ll never know who was knocking.

nestisflown · 20/12/2019 14:59

think its more embarrassing the naivety of middle classers

Exactly. People like @JKScot4 don't realise how lucky they are to live in areas where a late night knock on the door is more likely an innocent mistake, or a neighbour's good intentions/ cry for help - rather than a danger signal.

ffswhatnext · 20/12/2019 15:01

There’s no harm shouting through a closed door if you don’t have a spy hole and ask who is it. No one can walk in because the door is still locked.

It is embarrassing how some people react to a knock on the door.

I’m not a naive middle class person. I just know how to safely respond to a knock on the door. I’m working class who has lived in some very dodgy areas.

Oh and just after 3am this morning had a knock on the door. Police asking if I’d seen someone vulnerable who is missing. Had I done the MN ignore thing, I wouldn’t have been able to provide some info I knew about where they might be. If I hadn’t answered they would have come back.

Never had them shout through the door, witnessed them shouting, just before the door is busted.

formerbabe · 20/12/2019 15:04

Honestly what a bunch of paranoid loons on here. 10.30 is not late at night, you’re all adults ffs answer the door/phone whatever or call out who is there?

Well I'm pleased I didn't answer my door when some chancer came round begging for money door to door and I was home alone with my baby and toddler...at 11pm. But yes, how embarrassing for me to put mine and my children's safety first Hmm

My house...my choice.

JKScot4 · 20/12/2019 15:06

@nestisflown
I live in a pretty average area and am by no means naive but the paranoid thinking in this thread is ridiculous. It’s well known burglars knock to see if house is empty so by never answering/calling out increases your chance of burglary. You can call out, shout out the upstairs window etc. It’s very very rare a knife wielding maniac will go chapping doors for a victim.
Quite often it could be someone needing help as per pp regards DV attack, non breathing baby; I’d rather not have that on my conscience because I couldn’t answer a bloody door. Do you all need a big brave man to help you? 🙄🙄🙄🙄

2020BetterBeBetter · 20/12/2019 15:07

Regardless of the time, if you are enjoying having a bath and will feel exposed going to answer the door it’s absolutely fine to ignore the caller.

I second getting a new door and a Ring doorbell.

Grumpelstilskin · 20/12/2019 15:11

Really not liking the virtue signalling by some on this thread. People always mention anxiety and are usually humoured but random people banging on the door late evening, which could be nerve-wracking for anyone, suddenly, it's OTT to be alarmed. We live in central London. We don't open the door in the evening because the chances of someone drunk or with dodgy reasons for doing so is much higher. And I don't think it is funny if a drunk person mistakingly bangs on your door. WTF! And why the hell, should anyone get up in the night to push a totally random person's car! Or pick up an elderly person that is apparently too heavy to lift. This is what emergency services are for, especially when you do not know your neighbours. And if you haven't ordered any delivery then drivers trying this outrageous behaviour can doubly fuck off. Yes, it might be more stressful this time of year but it is still THEIR fecking job!

Pilipilihoho · 20/12/2019 15:11

All those people who wouldn't answer in case it was a burglar - you do understand that burglary doesn't work like that, right?!

formerbabe · 20/12/2019 15:12

Do you all need a big brave man to help you?

Well I'd rather answer my door to a man begging for money at 11pm with my dh next to me than on my own. However, whoever is there, even better is not to answer it at all.

And I've never had a woman fleeing DV knock on my door..neither has any of my friends and family...

Pilipilihoho · 20/12/2019 15:13

And who lives in a house and doesn't just open the window if they're upstairs, and lean out to - scary idea-- speak to whoever is knocking? I see what you wouldn't in a bungalow - but a house? I don't know if MN is weird, or I'm just shit out of patience today Grin

coconuttelegraph · 20/12/2019 15:16

I’ve just googled and the vast majority of burglars knock before doing anything else

That can't be something anyone could know, thinking logically

If you are in and you answer the door to a potential burgler I assume they don't tell you they are a burglar

If you are in and you don't answer the door you have no idea who it was

If you are burgled while you are out how do you know if they rang the door bell? If you had a Ring doorbell you might know but otherwise who knows

Google doesn't always give you the truth, did you get that from a trustworthy website?

AllergicToAMop · 20/12/2019 15:17

And why the hell, should anyone get up in the night to push a totally random person's car! Or pick up an elderly person that is apparently too heavy to lift. This is what emergency services are for, especially when you do not know your neighbours.

And people wonder why there is no community anymore and so many people with no one to ask for help at all....

LochJessMonster · 20/12/2019 15:18

I sometimes wonder how Mnetters survive when they can't even open the door to their house.
You know, you can just shut it again if its someone begging for money or a drunk?

Thinking the whole world is out to hurt you, must be so very tiring.

formerbabe · 20/12/2019 15:20

You know, you can just shut it again if its someone begging for money or a drunk

Are you really telling women alone to open their door late at night if a drunk man is knocking on it?

LochJessMonster · 20/12/2019 15:23

formerbabe I'm telling a women to open the door if someone knocks, then if its someone you don't want to deal with, shut it again. Like an adult. Obviously if you know its a drunk man, then don't open it.

BigFatLiar · 20/12/2019 15:23

Get a chain on the door. Last time a stranger knocked on the door in the small hours it was a doctor from the out of hours service at the local hospital telling me I had to go in first thing and gave me a letter for admission. (They'd tried calling earlier but didn't get an answer)

AllergicToAMop · 20/12/2019 15:24

Chains.
Or safe communication through a window. Even downstairs one. You don't really have to open them to see and hear the person if you are both tight there.
Spy hole.
Intercom for 20 quid.
So many options to do it safely...

AlternativePerspective · 20/12/2019 15:25

Well, I recently knocked on my neighbour’s door at 2:30 in the morning because their dog had got out unbeknownst to them. My DS had heard her wining outside and looked at the window and she was outside their house wanting to come in. After knocking quietly I decided to take her in for the night, however she wouldn’t settle in my house and wined and barked so I put her on my dog’s lead, went round there and banged hard on the door. Lucky they opened or I might have just had to leave the dog out there eh?

I can understand not wanting to answer the door late at night, and I don’t answer it to trick or treaters. But the paranoia around how really terrible it might be is extreme. There is surely some middle ground here?

AllergicToAMop · 20/12/2019 15:28

And if you don't know your neighbours now is the best time to find their names out!
When I first moved in I posted Christmas cards through letterboxes here. Just 8 houses. I got cards back from most with names on it obviously. So now I know that number 1 is x and y, number 2 is b and c etc😁 And they know my name. Easy peasy. Unless they are mumsnetters and throw them right in a bin🤔

formerbabe · 20/12/2019 15:31

I'm telling a women to open the door if someone knocks, then if its someone you don't want to deal with, shut it again. Like an adult

So when a beggar knocked on my door late at night...if I'd opened it, and he'd got nasty when I said I had no money, I may not have been able to shut the door if he pushed his way in, put his body in the way, stuck a foot in the door or god knows what.

As it stands, I spoke through my intercom and he looked pretty pissed off when I told him I had nothing to give him.

Pleased I didn't open the door.

LakieLady · 20/12/2019 15:31

Grin @wellthatwasthat, did you tell them you tried to warn them?

I'm lucky in that my bay window gives me a good view of anyone on the doorstep.

Someone knocked on my door at 2.00 am once. I peered out of the window, saw a copper standing there and told him I thought he was at the wrong house. He checked the house number, and my name, and asked me to let him in. I was quite arsey, insisted he show me his warrant card and wanted him to tell me what it was about, but he just kept asking to come in.

I grudgingly let him in. He's come to tell me my mother had died (she'd been found by neighbours, who didn't have my number). The poor sod looked about 17 and and I reckon it might have been his first "death knock", and had the misfortune to encounter a stroppy old cow!

I still don't know why they didn't leave it till the morning though.

We had a knock at the door just before midnight a few months ago. It was Air BnB guests who were staying at our opposite neighbours, and they'd locked themselves out. They wanted to know if we had a key, cheeky fuckers.